


Always, Snape

by dreamingboy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Snarry - Fandom
Genre: Detention, Fucking, M/M, Romance, Slash, Teacher-Student Relationship, Tutoring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-10 16:05:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 50
Words: 69,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4398368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamingboy/pseuds/dreamingboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My tribute to the snarry fandom or everything that makes a good Snarry in bookform:<br/>Seven years of Hogwarts, mean dialogues, strident comments, hot sex, repulsed feelings, love, self suficient behavior, cutting remarks.<br/>And a submissive Harry and a dominant Snape. </p><p>xoxo</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fantasy

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own any of these characters. I just wanted to play with them because I'm fascinated by the dynamic between Harry and Snape. All this hate and misplaced but strong feelings lead to the marvelous way they act around each other. Damn, I love them. Although Harry is the smart, cool hero in this story Snape ought to be the major character. He is sarcastic, possessive, proud and evil. My knight in black armor who suffered through to much already but always follows a superior motive. Although he seems to act hedonistic all the time. I just love him and I hope I have interpreted him right. It was really hard for me to keep balanced between the abusive, obsessed git I wanted him to be and the kind, honorable hero he turned out.  
> My fanfiction doesn't follow the books in general and there are a few things which are different and very shortened like the encounters with Voldermort and the normal classes but potions. Also Harry had a worse childhood and Mrs. Figg plays a bigger role in it and I neglect his friends.  
> In the process of writing that story I just did the peaces with Snape and Harry. Everything in between I added later and as you will notice I hadn't so much fun writing these parts and so they are pretty short and not that developed or even logical. Sorry for that. 
> 
> xoxo dreamingboy

Harry sat outside the Dursleys' house in privet Drive. Although it was raining, he couldn't go inside. His relatives had left him alone, probably to do some fun stuff with his cousin Dudley. Harry sighed and wondered if he would ever experience such a perfect day as Dudley ever bragged with. But it was hopeless. His aunt and uncle hated him, of that he was sure. They made him do all the chores, he had never received a birthday gift and that were just the more pleasant things he had to live through his entire life. The way his relatives treated him made Harry wonder who his parents were all the more. He was never told why his parents died, or if they were dead. Every he time he dared to ask aunt Petunia about them she just pretended he didn't exist or she called uncle Vernon to give Harry a good trashing. Secretly Harry himself assumed they were low people because nobody seemed to know them. He had even done some hopeless researches in the library on them. But with no mentionable results.   
Nevertheless he always had some hope he had some forgotten relatives who would come rescue him. But today, on his 11th birthday he began to doubt it the first time in his life. He felt terribly lost, soon school would start again and he had to move to a school for problematic children. Not that he ever dared to disobey his monstrous uncle but that was what he was. A problem, since his relatives had taken care of him as a baby. Because he had destroyed their perfect life. To hell with them all. Harry's life had never been near perfect and who could he blame for that?

Lost in depressing thoughts, Harry heard a loud noise, probably one of these ridiculously over tuned motorbikes. The droning sound came close and closer. Harry raised his head to make out the motorcycles direction. But the rain worsened his sight.

Suddenly, with a loud boast, a giant man sitting on a giant motorbike appeared right before Harry, on the street. Flabbergasted Harry watched the huge figure walking heavy steps towards the house. The man didn't seem to notice him as he strode right past Harry. Hastily Harry thought of hiding, but his curiosity got the better of him. What did a giant man want from likes of Dursleys who hated the abnormal? He thought bitterly.  
The man at the door seemed somehow taken aback as nobody opened after a few minutes and turned to leave. His eyes searched the yard seeming uncertain what to do with himself now. Through the thick rain he spotted Harry eventually who stood still at the yards starring back wide eyed and not able to decide what to do. Happy, the giant man stomped towards him. “'Scuse meh, Du ju 'now w'ere the Dursleys are?” He asked Harry in deep voice. “I'm, sorry. They didn't told me.” Harry said disappointed. Everyone seemed to like Dudley better then him, even this half giant who looked abnormal and wild in his coat made of fur wanted to visit Dudley. Although Harry knew Dudley would despise him. “Tha's nu good. Do you know when they will be back?” “No, they haven't told me.” Harry replied. “But you could leave a message, I can tell them.” “That's very nice of you, boy.” The giant grinned. “Could ju pleas' tell 'em that Rubeus Hagrid was 'ere to meet a certain Harry Potter.” “Right... But that's me!” Harry shouted in surprise. “You are?” “Yes!” Harry squirmed feeling as lucky as he never felt before. “That's a surprise, I somehow thought your hair wouldn't be that long.” He laughed. “Why would you think that?” Harry asked curiously. Hagrid twinkled at him. “Just because. Maybe it's better this way.” He smiled. Harry wondered why people always made such a fuss about his hair. Sure it was always messy and his aunt didn't let him cut it because of his scar but hair wasn't everything, was it?

“Let's get over to business.” Hagrid raised his voice. “Come on and sit.” Hagrid pointed at his giant Motorbike “We have a whole lot of things to do.” Harry didn't need to be told twice. Seconds later he sat behind Hagrid on his motorcycle feeling warm with glee in the cold rain. The man whose name was apparently Hagrid kicked it up and they leaped to the sky with an enormous sound. The rain hit hard Harry's face. So he closed his eyes as they flew higher and higher. Harry shivered his clothes were soaked wet by now and the howling wind made him freeze. But he was to excited to mind. This was his adventure. This man had come to take him. He had always dreamed about it. A relative, a stranger, a kind soul to take him and care for him. Of course his dreams never contained a roaring flying motorcycle but why not. Everything could happen in dreams. Suddenly the rain stopped and Harry opened his eyes and almost yelled in surprise, because he could see gray, rainy clouds underneath him. Indeed, he was flying with a giant on a motorcycle above the clouds. Harry couldn't believe it. What marvelous dream! The sun burned bright up here and soon Harry's clothes were dried up. Amazed he tried to remember everything. The soft wind brushing over his skin. The clean air. The fluffy clouds. That was the sweetest dream he ever had and he dared to wake up. Fast, they flew over the clouds and Harry enjoyed the light feeling of flying. He had never flown before. Of course, his relative would never have allowed him to. He felt like this had to be the luckiest moment of his life even if it was dream. Too soon they lost height and landed on the ground.

“Here we are.” The big man announced. Harry crumbled from the backside, his legs feeling kind of shaky. “Er, sorry Sir, but where are we?” He asked shyly looking around the abandoned street. “We are in London, Harry.” The giant explained kindly. Harry nodded unsure what he could ask the man without appearing rude. The man drew something what looked like an umbrella to Harry and tapped with it onto the motorcycle. Instantly it began shrinking itself until it was only the size of the mans hand who wrapped it gently into one of his many pockets. “Alright here we go.” He smiled towards Harry who still gaped at him amazed and began walking down the street. “Sir, where are we going?” Harry tried again after a few meters. “Diagon Alley, you still need to purchase your stuff for Hogwarts. And please call me just Hagrid” He said causally. Harry didn't understand anything the man said. But nodded. He knew adults didn't want to explain everything to useless children. So he tried just to keep up with the giants pace. Suddenly the man turned left and they found themselves on a crowded street. That was more how Harry had imagined London. Loud and noisy. “Have ya hav' lunch yet? Ya seem a littl skinny to my.” Harry declined. He hadn't have a bite to eat for three days now. “Alright. Then fullu my.” Hagrid said and went into the pub “The leaky cauldron” next to him. Harry stilled. He could swear there were just a grocery store instead before a mere second. But he shook his head. Shrinkable, flying motorbikes and strange umbrellas, he must posses more fantasy than he had thought.  


	2. Diagon Alley

 

Inside there were only a few people quietly chatting with each other and a thin bartender whose face lightened up as he saw them enter. “Hagrid.” He called out. “Long time no see. How it's going?”  
“Everythin's fine, Tom.” Hagrid answered in his deep voice. “'Have a guest with meh. Would you bring as too butterbeers and too portions of 'ur wife's famous soup?” He asked. “Certainly. Please sit down.” The man offered and ushered into the next room yelling for his wife. Hagrid let himself fall onto one of those chairs which seemed just too tiny for him and Harry feared it would crack any minute under his weight. But the chair didn't burst. It eventually matched even Hagrid's size. “Odd.” Harry commented absently walking around Hagrid to the opposite spot. “Whatisit?” Hagrid asked. “Nothing.” Harry mumbled and sat down onto his own chair. “Nothin'.” Hagrid scoffed. “Don't ya have any questions ya'd like to ask me?” His beady eyes glittered with amusement. Harry shot him a suspicious glance. “Any question I want?” He asked a bit too eagerly. “Yup. That's why Imma here.” Hagrid announced. “Alright.” Harry looked onto his hands. Not sure what to say. “Am I dreaming?” He asked then hesitantly mentally crossing his fingers. “Nah.” The giant laughed. “Why'd ya think that?”  
“You can do pretty do weird stuff.” Harry mumbled. “Oh, ya mean the motorbike?” Harry nodded. “It's not mine. 'have loaned it from good old Sirius.”  
"Ah. But why can it fly?”  
“Why shouldn'tit?”  
“Because that is not what motorbikes normally do?”  
“They don't?” Hagrid looked pretty confused. “Not where I come from.” Harry smiled. “But I like it. Flying is gorgeous.” Hagrid seemed pleased.  
At this moment Tom arrived with their plates. “Today's soup is out.” He apologized. “But may I offer you some fried eggs? I make you a special price.” He offered. “Course. They look delicious.” Hagrid said and took the plates from Tom who went back to his spot behind the bar. “Good hunger.” Hagrid grunted before he dug in his food. Hesitantly Harry brought the first bite to his mouth. He hadn't eaten in days and his stomach rumored as he chewed his delicious meal. He hoped Hagrid wouldn't comment on the churning noises his stomach made. But the giant didn't seem to notice.  
“Harry. Do ya have any other questions, 'bout Hogwarts maybe?” Hagrid asked through a mouthful. “What is Hogwarts?” Harry blurted before he could stop himself. “Hogwarts?"  
"Come on, if ya don't wanna ask anything you can just say so.” Hagrid sighed. Harry felt his face turning red. “I-I am serious.” He stuttered. “I have no clue what do you want from me.” Hagrid's eyes widened as he recognized Harry wasn't joking. “Ya do nothin'. Do you?” He asked flabbergasted. “What nothing?” Harry asked back. “Nothin' 'bout our whole world. Nothin' 'bout magic?” Harry shook his head. “Magic?” He asked. “I'm sorry Harry. No idea. 'thought the famous Harry Potter'd certainly know everything and I would just bore him and...” Harry tried to look as apologetic as possible at Hagrid who seemed now pretty sad. “Well, you could tell me now.” Harry suggested carefully. As far as Harry could see Hagrid was nothing like his uncle and he was pleasantly surprised about that. “Alright.” Hagrid sniffed. “Harry, ya probably recognized ya can do other people can't do at some point of you life.” He asked smiling widely. Harry shook his head shyly. “Comon don't be shy.” Hagrid prodded. “I-i can speak to Snakes.” Harry mumbled. “I can heal people by just touching him.” He added carefully. “And-” But Hagrid didn't let him finish. “Harry, that is amazing.” He shouted through a mouthful. “Exactly what I am talking about. 'Knew ya had it inside.” Harry shifted nervously on his chair. “This things are normal?” He asked suspiciously. “Yup, in our world they are and therefore ya belong at Hogwarts.” At Harry's questioning look he explained. “Hogwarts is a school for young wizards and witches where the formidable art of witchcraft and wizardry.” The giants eyes became dreamy. “I myself were once student at that school. You'll have fun there. I promise you.” He twinkled at Harry who watched him disbelievingly. “Ah, and I got ya invitation.” Hagrid snatched his fingers and instantly a letter appeared which he handed to the boy who took it with a faint smile. “Open it.” Hagrid pressured. “Alright.” Harry took a deep breath, his meal long forgotten, and opened the letter. Inside were a heavy parchment. He began to read:

 

>  

* * *

 

 

   

_HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WICHTCRAFT and WIZWARDRY_

 

_Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore_

_(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorcerer, Chief Warlock,_

_Supreme Mugwump, International Confederate of Wizards)_

 

_Dear Mr. Potter,_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment._

_Term begins on 1. September. We await your owl by no later than 31. July._

 

_Yours sincerely,_

 

_Minerva McGonegall_

 

_Deputy Headmistress_

 

 

* * *

 

 

_HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY_

_UNIFORM_

 

_First-year students will require:_

_1\. The sets of plain work robes (black)_

_2\. One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear_

_3\. One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar)_

_4\. One winter cloak (black, with silver fastenings)_

_Please note that all pupil's clothes should carry name tags._

 

_COURSE BOOKS_

 

_All students should have a copy of each of the following:_

 

_The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1)_

_by Miranda Goshawk_

 

_A History of Magic_

_by Bathilda Bagshot_

 

_Magical Theory_

_by Adalbert Waffling_

 

_A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration_

_by Emeric Switch_

 

_One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi_

_by Phyllida Spore_

 

_Magical Drafts and Potions_

_by Arensius Jigger_

 

_Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_

_by Newt Scamander_

 

_The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection_

_by Quentin Trimble_

_OTHER EQUIPMENT_

 

_1 wand_

_1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)_

_1 set glass or crystal phials_

_1 telescope_

_1 set brass scales_

 

_Students may also bring, if they desire and owl OR a cat OR a toad._

_PARTENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS_

_ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICK_

 

_Yours sincerely_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Harry looked up a pained expression on his face. “What's wrong, Harry?” The giant asked occupied. “When I got my letter, I am sure I bounced like a flubberworm.” He frowned. “Well...” Harry felt his cheeks flush. “You know... I don't have money and this stuff sounds quite expensive...” Hagrid shot him a curious glance before he laughed. “Well, ya can't probably know but your parents left you a little fortune. Ya just have to take one galleon or two.” Harry couldn't believe it. “They did?” He asked. Then it hit him. “Ya know about my parents.” He screamed. “Yup, course I do. They are kind of famous and-” “Where are they? Why do I have to life with my relative instead of them?” Harry asked. It felt good to hear those questions out loud. Suddenly Hagrid looked pretty sad. “Because they are dead.” He whispered. “They are?” Harry felt a sting in his heart. The little hope he had gained over the day diminished in a split of second. “What happened?” Harry felt like he might cry. “I guess it's not for me to tell you that. Sorry, Harry.” The boy looked at him kind of disappointed. “Then whom can I ask?” He questioned. “You may interrogate the headmaster once you are in Hogwarts.” Hagrid suggested grudgingly. Harry seemed not convinced.  
So he decided to distract the boy by mentioning. “How about we do some shopping, Harry?” He pointed with his huge hand towards the thick parchment. “You still need an awful lot.” Hagrid rose from his seat and waved at the bartender. “Sure.” Harry mumbled and followed Hagrid through the backdoor into some kind of courtyard. Silently wondering how they would buy his stuff in a courtyard Harry watched the man taking his umbrella-thing and tapping it onto the stonewall. Miraculously a gate leading to a crowded street with various shops appeared before them. “Welcome to Diagon Alley.” Hagrid announced cheerfully and made his way through the mass of people. Harry was really happy about Hagrids size because he parted the crowd and he could easily walk behind him.  
Then Hagrid came to an abrupt halt in front of a huge, white marbled building. To Harry it seemed like a palace and he instantly wondered if the wizarding world had a royal family. But Hagrid told him this was Gringotts, a bank for wizards before they entered through a giant wooden door which made Hagrid actually seem small. Inside Harry was astonished because there weren't humans sitting behind those terminals but some little, angry looking creatures in white suits with ridiculously long fingers. “What are they?” Harry asked Hagrid keeping close to the giant. “Goblins.” The giant explained. “Really? I had imagined them friendlier.” Harry whispered. “Well, they might not be the nicest companions on earth but they're good with money.” Hagrid shrugged and turned to one particularly grim goblin. “Good day. I'm Rubeus Hagrid, Gamekeeper of Hogwarts and this is my little friend Harry Potter who wants to take some money out of his vault.” Hagrid introduced themselves. “Harry Potter?” The goblin asked bored and peered down at Harry who stared to the ground. “Do you have the key?” He asked then. “Yes. Dumbledore gave him to me before I went to fetch you.” He explained to Harry. “It's vault number 711.” He added into the silence that followed as the goblin began to examine the key. “I know that.” The little creature remarked then. “Does Mr. Potter wish to accompany me to his vault?” Harry didn't know what to say. Questioning, he looked to Hagrid who said: “Your decision. You don't need to.” Harry nodded and swallowed the lump in his throat. Maybe he would find some answers about his parents in their vault which was apparently his now. “I want to see it, Sir” He said to the goblin who rose from his chair immediately. “Follow me.” He crooked. “I'll wait for you outside.” Hagrid called after him as they made their way to a machine to which reminded Harry of a roller coaster as he sat down. Their journey was exactly what Harry imagined a drive on a merry go round to be. Fast they flew into the dark depth that surrounded them. Now Harry was glad he hadn't eaten up. He could feel his stomach flip flop as the vehicle finally stopped. “Here we are.” The goblin said tersely and opened the door to Harry's vault. Vast riches and shiny treasures as far as Harry could view. “Is this all mine?” He asked the annoyed goblin. “Yes, of course it is.” He answered unimpressed by Harry's affection who dropped to his knees. He couldn't believe it, his whole live he had possessed nothing and now there were a shiny fortune all his. A stiffed cough of the goblin made him aware of his unreasonable behavior. Hastily he got up and began to look around the treasures. He wouldn't let some snobby banker ruin this precious moment. After a while his former thrill had settled and he began searching for concrete things. “Do you know if there is anything my parents possessed that isn't gold, Sir? He asked the impatient creature. “I am afraid there isn't much left. I recall a ring of your father to be here.” The goblin drooled. “How am I supposed to find it in this load, Sir?” Harry asked desperately. “I can summon it for you if you want.” The goblin offered. “That would be nice.” The goblin hold out his hand and hissed some words in an unknown language. Instantly the ring came flying towards Harry and he snatched it out of mid air. “Thank you, Sir.” He said gratefully and put it on. It fit him like its own and a warm feeling rose into his chest. “Is it all, Mr. Potter?” The goblin interrupted his musings. “Yeah, just wait a minute.” Harry stuffed his trousers with shiny coins before he left the vault for the goblin to seal again.  
A horrible ride on the roller coaster thing later he finally breathed the fresh air outside the building. The rain had stopped and the sun shone warm. It was going to become quite a nice day. He could see Hagrid from a far talking to a man in black. As Harry reached audible range the man just left. Kind of disappointed Harry stared after him. He had the odd feeling to know him somehow. Although he restrained from asking Hagrid about the man, because he didn't want to appear rude. “Got your money?” The giant questioned. Harry nodded. “Why do the coins look so strange?” He wondered. “Ah, ya can't know. That's our currency. Letmeh explain to you.” Hagrid held up a golden coin. This is a galleon it's worth 17 sickle.” He showed Harry. “One silver coin and 38 of those knuts-” He pointed at the little bronze coins- “are worth one sickle. “Did ya get that?” He grinned. “Sure. Then a galleon is 646 knuts, isn't it? Hagrid looked amazed at Harry. “I don't know.” He confessed. “But doesn't matter to me. Let's get going.”  
Harry nodded enthusiastically. Now with his pockets full of money he couldn't wait to spend it. This was the first time he was shopping and he was going to enjoy it. “Alright, then let's move towards the madam Malkin's. She is one of the most famous outfitters in the wizarding world.” Hagrid suggested. Harry wasn't to be asked twice. Swiftly he found himself placed onto a stool and measured by a kind old lady in a warm, colorful room which happened to be madam Malkin's exclusive studio. The old lady who was ushering around him while muttering to herself was apparently madam Malkins. She had introduced herself very humbled when she learned the famous Harry Potter was going to by his school robes and other clothes at her shop. Although Harry guessed she would behave like this towards every student Hagrid snickered quietly exchanging a curious glance with Harry. Next was Zonkos Jokes shop. Harry had never been in a toy shop but he was sure this was exceeding everything Dudley had ever bragged with. There was magic everywhere. There were sweets playing music or changing the color or toys which flew to the air. There were actually potions with the sign: Experience a day as your favorite pet or Wanna be invisible? Harry could have stayed forever but Hagrid dragged him further towards the book shop. To his surprise Harry found this one just a little less interesting than Zonkos. Dozens of book were propped till the ceiling and Harry had the feeling they might crash down onto him but they miraculously didn't. While Hagrid seemed bored after a few minutes Harry took his time to additionally to his school books a history of Hogwarts, a potions guide for beginners and more books he hoped would help him to navigate through his upcoming school year.  
Outside, meanwhile loaded with bags, Hagrid announced he had an important business to attend to but Harry shouldn't worry. He should just go into the apothecary and Olivanders to purchase the missing stuff of the list until Hagrid was back. Harry didn't want to be let alone but he didn't want to be nuisance either. So he squared his shoulders and beamed at Hagrid before he went into the gloomy room of the apothecary. Inside there were lots of jars with teeth and other body parts Harry tried to recognize. Harry was so focused at the scary looking ingredients he didn't noticed a black figure standing right in front of him until he bumped into him. Crack. One of the jars the man was studying smashed down onto the floor. Surprised Harry looked up, the man from before was staring angry at him. “I am sorry, sir. I didn't see you there.” He mumbled shyly. “Runt, keep an eye to where you are walking.” The man barked. Harry flinched and stared at the man in a loss of words. The man sighed and drew his wand. Instantly the jar repaired itself. Harry watched him amazed. The man must be also a wizard. “Well, are you standing there forever?” The man snapped. Hurriedly, Harry went across the room. Where was a damn shop assistant when he needed them?” From distance Harry gaped at the man while he pretended to study the groceries. After a while the man who seemed really pissed of by now turned around. “What are you looking at?” He demanded. Harry blushed. But before he could answer a little man entered the room. “I am sorry. You needed to wait. Who is next?” The man who was obviously the assistant asked. Then he spotted the black man, a little squeak escaped his throat as he went towards him. “Professor Snape, what an honor.” The man seemed not impressed instead he sneered. “I need you to stock up the storerooms of the students laboratory. Your so called ingredients should be sufficient for that purpose.” The assistant nearly stumbled upon his feed as he drew wand to bewitch a feather to write down the professors exact orders. “I need them delivered til end of the week.” With that the man in black left the room. The assistant let out a heavy sign. Harry didn't know what to make of the situation. Who was this man that he could make people tremble in fear by just ordering stuff? Finally the assistant look up and gave Harry a wary look. “Oh, I didn't see you there, chap. First year Hogwarts, I guess?” Harry nodded. “What do you need exactly?” He asked. “Everything.” Harry answered unsure what to tell the man who smiled at this. Well, then let's arrange a set. It is most important to have a cauldron witch matches the requirements of your potions. In you first year you will only brew aphrodisiacs because their almost harmless.” He told Harry while stuffing things into a box. Then he gave Harry a cauldron including the package. “Here you go, chap. It is one one galleon and five sickles.” Harry paid the man and left the store still wondering about this mysterious professor Snape.  
Outside, he couldn't find Hagrid and so he decided to visit the next shop which was called Mister Olivander's. Makers of fine wands since 1804. Right he needed a wand. Maybe he could do the same things Hagrid or the professor could do when he god one. Excitedly he entered the shop which was as much sinister as the last one and Harry wondered why. A shop owner could surely afford electricity? Unsure he looked around the shelves. This time there weren't jars but long boxes. Anxiously he looked around the store noticing a man staring at him. “Mister Harry Potter.” He hummed as Harry went closer. “How do you know my name?” Harry asked nervously. “I can see the scar you are hiding.” The man smiled. Unconsciously Harry touched his head. “I wondered when you would come, when the famous boy who lived would buy one of my wands like his parents did.” Mister Olivanders gaze stilled at Harrys scar. “You knew my parents?” Harry blurted out. “Yes of course I did. Twenty years ago they both came to buy their first wand. Their selection was destined, of course, as their love. I should have known such coincidences would lead to greater events...” Mr. Olivander trailed of. Nervously Harry asked. “Ehm, mister Olivander, sir? The man snapped out of his trance. “I would like to buy my wand now.” Harry said hesitantly. “Of course you will.” The old wandmaker went to one of the shelves and handed Harry a wand. “Try it.” He ordered. Harry swung the wooden stick and felt very ridiculous. He shrugged his shoulders in disdain. “Not the right one then? How about this one? Mr. Olivander made Harry try wand after wand but nothing happened so far and Harry was close to losing hope. But then... Olivander suggested another wand and as Harry took it a lightning bolt erupted and shattered the shelve next to him. Harry was struck. He couldn't believe it was him who did this. Swiftly he apologized by the wandmaker who eyed him occupied. “I had no idea.” He mumbled. “This wand, why exactly this wand?” He spaced out again and Harry watched him terrified. He had the feeling something bad had happened. Shyly he asked. “Everything alright, sir?” The old man eyed him warily. “Of course, boy. I see you were chosen by this particular... wand.” He said. “Is there a problem, sir?” Harry asked unsure what to make of this situation. “No, there isn't unless..” But the wandmaker caught himself in midsentence. “Maybe you will see it. But I rather hope not.” Confused Harry paid for his wand left the shop, his head spinning.  
A little later he met Hagrid who carried a beautiful owl on his shoulder. “Happy Birthday, Harry.” He cheered. “Hagrid, how do you know it's my Birthday.” Harry uttered. “But Hagrid just smiled and pointed at the snow white owl. “Here you go. I just saw her and thought she would be perfect for you. I hope you like her.” Hagrid said awkwardly while Harry just stared at him. “You bought her for me?” He asked disbelievingly. “Yeah. Don't you like her?” Hagrid mumbled. “Of course I do. She's perfect.” Harry beamed. The owl spread her shiny white wings and flew onto Harry's shoulders. “She seems to like you.” Hagrid said gladly. The owl hooted consensually. “I think she does.” Harry laughed. “Thank you, Hagrid. I can't say how much this means to me.” He sniffed. “Oh, don't be embarrassed. A boy does not everyday turn eleven.” Hagrid grunted. Harry felt like he could burst into tears any minute. “How do you want to name her?” He asked casually trying to ignore Harry's mixed up feelings. “I don't know. What name would you give to her?” Harry replied. “That's not my decision although I like the name Norbert. But since she's a female I think that won't work.” He mused. “Probably not.” Harry agreed. “It's getting late. Do ya have everythin' ya need?” Hagrid changed the topic. “Yes, I guess.” Harry informed him after checking his letter. “Will you send me back to Privet Drive?” He asked with a shaky voice. “Yeah, I will drop you there. There isn't any problem, is there?” Hagrid wondered. Harry silently shook his head. “Alright, then. Do you mind if we apparate? It is getting late and I need to meet Dumbledore in a few minutes.” Hagrid said. “What is apparating?” Harry asked the giant curiously. “You will see. Just grab my arm and do your best not to let go.” The gameskeeper grinned. Harry nodded understanding and grabbed Hagrid's stretched out arm. Meanwhile Hagrid put the owl in a cage he summoned and shrank Harry's purchasing as he had already done with the rest of his new stuff. Barely Harry noticed how the giant drew his wand before they were drawn forward by an invisible force. Struck Harry tried to keep hold onto Hagrid as they whirled around. Repent it was over as his relatives house appeared in front of them with a loud pop which echoed in the empty street. “Ahh, I hope, nobody heard as.” Hagrid smiled abashed. Harry didn't answer because he was to busy preventing himself from hurling. “I know the first time is rough but you will get used to it.” He chuckled. Harry doubted that sincerely. “Shall I come with you and talk to your uncle and aunt? About you leaving I mean?” Harry shrugged as he watched the abandoned house. “I don't think they are back yet.” He answered carefully. He didn't want to give his relatives away that easily just because they left him for a few days alone. “I see. Then I will tell you what you have to do. First here is you ticket.” He searched his pockets for a piece of paper and handed it Harry. “The train is going to leave at eleven o clock from King's Cross in London and will drive you directly to Hogwarts. So you shouldn't worry as long as you don't loose your ticket.” Hagrid smiled. Harry eyed the paper occupied. Then it hit him. “Hagrid, where is section 9 ¾?” He asked. “Damn, I totally forgot. You have to watch carefully between nine and ten. The section is hexed so the muggles can't see it.” He explained. “And with muggles you mean people who don't know about magic?” Harry asked interested. “Yes, yes. I am sorry. I always forget how little you know.” The giant apologized. Harry just shrugged it off. “Is this the same hex which makes the leaky cauldron invisible?” He queried to change the topic. “Yes, I believe so. We use hexes to keep to ourselves. Damn, Harry, you are pretty smart boy.” Hagrid gave him a knuff with so much force it led Harry stumble backwards. “I am so glad I could meet you again.” Hagrid smiled tears glittering in his beady eyes. “I am, too. I really look forward to see Hogwarts.” Harry admitted. “That's how it should be. You'll have a great time, I promise you. Well, then, I need to go. If ya got any problems, just send your owl with a message. She knows the way.” The giant advised. “Thank you, Hagrid. For everything.” Harry smiled struggling to fight the tears out of his eyes. “See ya.” The man grinned at Harry as he drew his wand and apparated with a loud plop. Harry looked at the place he disappeared for quite a while. He asked himself if it just had been a dream but the faint hoot of the owl in her cage and the cold metal of the ring on his hand made him believe different. There was an other world that just waited for him.

Later that evening the Dursleys' car drove onto the yard. His relatives were obviously in a good mood because they were laughing as they went to the door. Their smiles faded as they saw Harry still standing outside in the yard. “What are you doing, boy?” Uncle Vernon bellowed. “Me? I am just standing here.” Harry answered truthfully. “Keep your nonsense to yourself. Where did you get this stuff?” His fat uncle asked. “A guy named Hagrid came here and took me shopping in London.” Vernon's faces went bright red. “Liar. You must have stolen this stuff, have you? Who would waste money on you of all people?” Harry bowed his head and tried furiously to keep his voice even and calm. “I am not lying. I have a letter that proofs I am student at Hogwarts now.” He heard a scream from his aunt. “Hogwarts?” She squeaked ushering closer. “Yes, it's all written down in this letter.” Harry stated. “You are not going there.” His aunt cried. “Why not?” Harry asked taken aback. “Because We won't allow you to, would we, Vernon?” Aunt Petunia pleaded. “Of course not. The boy is going to Hampshire like we planned. And you boy.” Uncle Vernon took a menacing step towards Harry. “If I were you I would return the stuff really fast or you'll be sorry.” Harry gulped. That went worse then expected.

 


	3. Kindness

“Please, uncle Vernon, I swore I didn't steal.” Harry whimpered the next day. “I wouldn't care even if Santa Claus brought you this stuff, you won't keep it. It is dangerous and your aunt want it out of the house.” His fat uncle bellowed. “But-” Harry cried but his uncle interrupted him by slapping his fat arm across his face with a loud smack. “Don't dare to talk back to me! You won't go to that school and only come back when you got rid of this freakish things.” The door closed the door shut behind Harry, who looked dazed into the rainy world that stretched in front of him. He felt like crying but he would never give his uncle such a pleasure. Determined he grabbed his trunk and left the valley. He knew he would never come back. Never.  
Silently he went down the street til he stopped at the last house. It was little and old like its owner, the kind Mrs. Figg. The Dursleys like the other neighbors thought her thick and strange but to Harry she seemed the only decent person around. He knocked on the front door and waited. Mrs. Figg always needed some time to reach the door. Harry remembered his first visit at the old lady's still well. It had been the first time for him to be left by the Dursleys for more than a week. Since he hadn't known to whom to turn to he had waited at their house til he couldn't even stand anymore. That was when Mr. Figg had found him. She had brought him home and cared for him. Harry swallowed hard. He couldn't even imagined what could have been if she hadn't found him back then. He had visited her so many times he couldn't count them any more. In this moment the door swung open and the old lady appeared. Harry looked at her shyly. He thanked her with all his heart but their relationship was rather distant. “Hello, Mr. Figg.” He said sheepishly. “I was wondering if you could do me the favor and drive me to Kings Cross.” She glanced over him as if she was searching for something. “Yes, of course. But why don't you come in for a little while?” She offered. Gratefully Harry ushered inside his heavy trunk rattling behind him. “How would you like a piece of chocolate cake?” She asked. “Wouldn't say no, mam.” Harry smiled. They went to the kitchen and Harry sat down onto the shaky table. As he had dug in his cake Mr. Figg asked him. “So why do you need to go to London?” Harry who was happily eating needed sometime to answer. “Well, you know I have been invited to some boarding school but the Dursleys don't want me to go and I...” He swallowed hard. He always refrained from telling her how his life at his relatives really were. “So you sneaked out?” She kindly offered. “Ehm. You could say that.” Harry agreed mentally crossing his fingers. “Well then. Of course I will drive you. But aren't you a bit early? School will not start before September the first as I recall.” Harry gave her a surprised look. “How do you know?” “Well that's a common thing with boarding schools.” She smiled at the disbelieving Harry “And what will you do til term starts?” She queried. Harry looked at her ashamed. “I don't know. I don' to be imposing but I thought that-” He stuttered and felt himself went crimson. “You know I don't have anyone to turn to so I thought-” She twinkled at him. “Well. Can I stay here for a couple of days? I can work or make myself useful.” “It's alright, Harry.” She soothed him. “I don't mind company and I could have help with my garden, indeed.” “That's gorgeous.” Harry exclaimed. Suddenly he felt like hugging her. “Well then.” She chuckled. “You could sleep in my sons old bedroom. He doesn't use it anymore.” “That's very generous of you.” Harry said awed. “Please don't mind, be my guest. I suggest you bring that trunk and owl of yours upstairs now. Make yourself feel at home. I will prepare dinner in the meantime.” Harry smiled at her and went to fetch his few things. Later as he had settled in he went downstairs to help the old lady with her cooking. After a delightful dinner they watched a TV-Show together. All by himself Harry didn't trust his luck. Yesterday he had a fantastic day with Hagrid and today he had eaten probably plus would even sleep in a real bed. What had he done to deserve this? He excused himself early. He wouldn't miss an opportunity to sleep because the Dursleys never let him rest long. Before he went to bed he let his owl out of its cage. “How do you like to hunt your foot? He asked her. Because he found the owl hooted consensually he opened the window. “Please be back safe and sound.” He said as he dismissed her. After that he lay down and fell almost immediately into a dreamless slumber. The next days Harry fast became used to his kind of knew life. He would wake up and was awaited by a cheerful old lady. After an extraordinary breakfast he would do the dishes and any task she assigned him. They weren't by far as hard as the ones he had to do at the Dursleys and so he always finished early but Mr. Figg didn't seem to mind. Due to his great fear to meet his uncle again Harry almost never left the house but it wasn't as bad as it could have been because he read his knew books extensively. One was more interesting than the other and Harry marveled how any subject could be boring at Hogwarts if even the textbooks were that entertaining. He even found his name written in the “a history of magic”-book. That got him pretty excited. Although the vague book didn't contain any new information. So the days passed away quickly. Harry was almost surprised as he packed his things and tried to maneuver his heavy trunk into the old lady's old timer. Their ride was almost silent. Harry felt pretty embarrassed since he didn't know what to say to his savior. Mr. Figg seemed nearly the same. She didn't smile as often as normally. Then the station King's Cross came into few. The car stopped in front of the entrance and suddenly it was time to say Goodbye. Harry forced himself to smile. “Thank you for taking care for me. Would you mind if I wrote you from time to time? My owl will deliver messages to you.” He said and pointed towards the owl which slept in its cage. “It was my pleasure and I would love to hear from you.” The old lady smiled. “Thank you. I can't say how kind you are.” Harry said in a thick voice. “Nonsense. I don't want to hear it. Besides if you don't know where to go for next summer don't be shy, just tell me and I will come and fetch you.” She smiled. “Really?” Harry asked disbelievingly. “Of course. And now go or you will miss your train. Goodbye, Harry, I hope you enjoy Hogwarts.” She embraced Harry curtly. “Thanks, I wish you a great time, too.” Harry called as he entered King's Cross. Much, much later it struck him that his old lady shouldn't have known what school he was going to...


	4. The train

Harry entered the crowded King's Cross. Suddenly he felt pretty nervous and excited. A new life and what else lay ahead of him. And he hoped sincerely it would turn out better than living with the Dursleys.  
It took him ten minutes to reach the platform in which he feared to miss the train. But everything went fine. The only thing one need is luck in life. First he spotted an old majestic steam lock with seven or so wagons. Harry tried to pull his trunk into the last but he was to weak. Desperately he looked around for someone to help him. He spotted a family of redheads putting the trunks of their children into the next wagon. Harry heaved his trunk towards them. “Excuse me.” He said to the father who just had loaded the last of his four son's trunks. “Would you mind to help me, sir?” Harry asked the man shyly. “Of course, he will, darling.” The mother cut in while she beamed at him. “Is it your first year, dear?” Harry nodded. “I see. Our Ron's here, too.” She patted the cheek of an annoyed boy who stood next to her. As the father had loaded Harry's trunk on the train Harry excused himself rather shortly. He wasn't used to talk to people yet. It made him kind of nervous. And he even expected his uncle to pop out of nowhere to drag him back home. Therefore he mumbled just a shy “Thank you, sir.” and entered the train.  
The departure went without said incidents. He just sad alone in his compartment and watched the families saying goodbye to their children. Then with a ruck and the sound of a steam whistle the train set forward. Soon King's Cross vanished and also the whole outside world was to see as a blurry mess outside the window. For a few minutes Harry enjoyed the sensation of traveling with a train because he had never the opportunity to do so until now. As he looked up he saw the red haired boy from the stage standing in the door. So he met Ron, a scrawny red haired boy on the train who had five brothers, a sister and rat named Scabbers. His parents were both wizards and he was short on money. Besides he was a bit nervous about the sorting because his whole family had been sorted into Gryffendor. His twin brothers Fred and George who joined them later were upperclassmen and nice folks to be around.  
After the long train ride Harry was sure to have made at least one new friend and he hoped he would be sorted into the same house as Ron.


	5. Hogwarts dinner

The sunset was almost over as the train stopped at a sordid station. Harry eyed his surroundings suspiciously while he left the train. He had been told to leave his stuff behind. Outside, he immediately spotted Hagrid standing in the middle of the stage. “First years. Please gather around.” His smile broadened as Harry when he saw Harry in the crowd. “Follow me, we are going to take another round than the upperclassmen.” The giant hummed and marched in the direction of a small lake where many boats floated in the deep black water. “Now grab yourself a partner and take your seats. It's gonna be a rough ride.” Hagrid smiled. Harry looked out for Ron who was dragged into a boat by another boy already. Now a little disappointed Harry watched the shrinking crowed when he was tapped on the shoulder by a bushy haired girl. “Hi, my name is Hermione Granger. Mind if we sit together?” She asked. “No. I'm glad.” Harry smiled while their sat down into the last boat. “Alright, everyone's ready?” The deep voice of Hagrid called. “Then off we go!” And suddenly the boats began to move like magically. Harry was struck. They were making a boat tour with magical boats. Not the first thing he imagined he would do once he was at Hogwarts. Meanwhile Hermione talked about the History of Hogwarts and what books she read in preparation for the term. She was also Muggle born and obviously already afraid to be behind with her studies. Somebody thought of her privy or geeky but Harry liked her instantly. It was dark now and the stars reflected in the clear sea. After they had passed some huge rocks and eternal forest Hogwarts finally on the Horizon. A black silhouette in the dark. A huge castle on rocks. Harry was amazed.

Soon they reached the end of the lake and apparently they had to walk the rest. Hermione instantly stood up and went to the head of the group with “I hope we are sorted in the same house. See you around.” Then Harry was alone again. But not for long because Ron strolled over to him. “The guy I was in a boat with, his name is Malfoy, told me the famous Harry Potter was in the train. You aren't him, are you?” Ron glanced searchingly at Harry. “Well, eh, it is true, I guess.” Harry stuttered. “Dude, why didn't you tell me?” Ron called amazed. “I didn't now it was such big news.” Harry defended himself.

They reached the front gate of Hogwarts before Ron could ask further embarrassing questions which Harry couldn't have answered anyway. The castle lay completely in the dark, only a few enormous windows were lit. Hagrid knocked at the front gate. A rustling sound followed, the door swung open and a sinister looking man appeared. Spoken man was the caretaker Mr. Filch who brought his cat Mrs. Norris wherever he went. The man greeted Hagrid and then lead them around a few corners through another grand door where a middle aged woman awaited them. “Good evening, students. I welcome you at Hogwarts. I am Professor McGonegal to you. Now you will be sorted in once of our great houses. Gryffendor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. While you attend Hogwarts this house will function as your family. I hope you treat your new family with respect and be a worthy addition to the house you are sorted in. And now follow me.” She turned around and the grand door opened itself. The soon to be students followed her intimidated. The professor lead the crowd into a vast hall which didn't seem to have a top because the starry sky sparkled above. Additionally the room was lit by dozens of floating candles which gave the great hall a mysterious touch. There were five tables, on four of them were students who eyes the newcomers curiously, the fifth obviously was the teacher's table which stood at the front of the room. As soon as the group of first years stood in front of this table an old man with a beard raised his voice. “Welcome to Hogwarts. The sorting may begin now.”  
To Harry's relieve the sorting turned out to be a rather quick procedure. Soon the first Hufflepuff was chosen. Then a Slytherin and then again a Hufflepuff. Ron's wish became fulfilled as he was sorted into Gryffendor. Then the a blond girl became the first Ravenclaw and Hermione didn't become Ravenclaw but Gryffendor instead. A one of the last Harry got sorted. The head seemed to have his difficulties with him but finally Harry became a Gryffendor, too. Harry was so nervous something might be wrong with him he didn't notice the turmoil his name caused. The till that very moment cheering hall went rapidly silent. But Harry just went grateful to the Gryffendor table. He was quite glad because the twins, Ron and Hermione belonged also sat there. Therefore he didn't noticed how the cheering crowed fell into a tense silence.  
Exhausted, he watched how the last two first years went to Ravenclaw. Then the old man, who was obviously Dumbledore, the famous headmaster, hold a speech about the upcoming year. Meanwhile Harry's gaze wandered along the staff member table until he noticed a man with black hair directly staring back. Harry flinched startled and turned his view back to Dumbledore who had just finished talking and clapped his hands one time. Suddenly lots and lots of foot appeared on the tables and the traditional dinner, as Harry was told, began. While they were eating Harry asked a prefect casually. “Who's that man?” The prefect whose name was Percy Weasley answered deliberately. “Oh, you mean professor Snape. He is the head of Slytherin and teaches potions.” Harry nodded and turned his attention back to the food before him. But he noticed the potionmaster's eyes follow his every move. Damn, the man was creepy.  
The same prefect lead the group of Gryffendor first year's to the common room in the east tower. The common room was sealed by a portrait which pictured a fat lady who liked it to sing. After an annoying discussion with spoken lady about the new house password Percy shew them their dorms. Harry was in a dorm with Ron and Neville with whom he had talked over dinner and Seamus Finnegan and Dean Thomas. Their room was spacious with five fourposter beds in it. Fortunately their packages had been brought there already so they only needed to change before going to bed. That night was the first in which Harry ever dreamed sweet.

 

_Harry was popular, good looking and smart. He was perfect, like his father had been..._


	6. First potion lesson

Harry's first school week was the most interesting week he could remember. Suddenly Harry wasn't treated as scum anymore but as a hero for reasons he couldn't really grasp. He truly enjoyed the attention after his long life in the shadows. Everybody was nice to him and soon he had made lots of friends. He tried to spent his time equally with every single one of them and kept himself out of any conflict that might occur. Even his teacher were nice to him and treated him with deep respect. Therefore Harry came to like his classes and studied hard for them. He was eager to prove himself worthy and learn as much as he was allowed to. To everyone's surprise he preferred to stay silent most of the time and only to answer if he was directly asked. His life at the Dursleys had taught him to simply mind his own business. So the lessons went well and so he was utterly astonished as he met Snape. Potion lessons took place down in one of the dungeons. It was colder there than up in the main castle, and would have been quite creepy enough with the pickled animals floating in glass jars around the walls. So one morning Gryffendor and Slytherin first years assembled in one of the laboratories. Everybody was quite nervous due to some rumors about the teacher who apparently was the most nasty and feared in Hogwarts. Anxiously Harry sat next to Hermione and waited tensed for Professor Snape to arrive. There was an immanent silence while the Gryffendors and their new fellow class mates, the Slytherins, stared at each other in disdain. Suddenly the large doors which lead into the laboratory flew open and a tall man strode into the room. “There will be no foolish wand-waving or silly incantations in this class. As such, I don't expect many of you to appreciate the subtle science of the potion making: However, for those select few you who posses the pre-disposition. I can teach you how to bewitch the wind and ensnare the senses; I can tell you how to brew glory, bottle fame, and even put a stopper in death.” Snape glanced over the students before he seated himself in front and then, like Flitwick, started the class by taking the rollcall, and like Flitwick, he paused at Harry's name. “”Ah, yes.” He said softly. “Harry Potter. Our new celebrity.” His eyes had no warmth and made you think of dark tunnels as they focused on Harry who tried to suppress a shiver. Snape stood up from his seat and emerged to the front. “Your are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion making.” He began. “He spoke in barely more than a whisper, but they caught every word. Like Professor McGonagall, Snape had the gift of keeping a class silent without effort. “As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses. I can teach you all that if your aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach.” The whole time his black eyes didn't leave Harry who was eagerly writing down every single word Snape said. “Then again, maybe some of you have come to Hogwarts in possession of abilities so formidable that you feel comfortable for not to pay attention.” Snape raised his voice as he turned towards Harry: “Potter!” Snape said suddenly. “What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel root to an infusion of wormwood? Stunned, Harry looked up. The man in black hair and black clothes was rather intimidating. Harry just gaped at him. He was the one in the shop. Harry couldn't believe it. “I take it you don't know?” Snape's lips curled into a sneer. “Tut, tut- fame clearly isn't everything. Let's try again. Potter, where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?” Harry still gaped at him in confusion. He hadn't even the chance to think about it. “Ehm- a bezoar is a stone you can find in a goat and therefore-” But Snape caught him in mid sentence. “Thought you wouldn't open a book before coming, eh, Potter?” Harry forced himself to keep looking into those cold eyes as he stated. “I did, professor. I just wasn't done answering.” But Snape ignored him. “Last chance for you. Please surprise me with your eloquence this time. What is the difference, Potter, between monshood and wolfsbane.” Snape sneered. “I don't know, sir. Is this even in the first book?” Harry asked desperately. “For your information, it is something called general knowledge.” Snape hissed and Harry felt shame burning his cheeks. Quickly he turned his gaze away. “Look at me, when I am talking to you.” the professor snapped, Harry forced himself to look into the black, emotionless eyes. “And ten points will be taken from Gryffendor for your insolent behavior, Potter.” Snape added and swept around in his long black cloak. “Well, why aren't you looking the right answers up?” He snarled. Busy shuffles followed as the students cracked their brand new books open. Harry was sure most of them hadn't even read the title yet and still he was wronged by that man for reading the only book about potion they ought to have. Embarrassed, he saw the professor sneer at him. This was the first time Harry felt something close to hate. Maybe it was loath, utter loath which, regarding Snapes smug expression, was quite mutual. Desperately Harry began looking up the answers he already knew. Finally the lesson was over. Harry threw his things into his back before he left with Hermione and Ron who looked understanding. “I know how you feel. Fred and George told me he is always like this. Don't worry about the points. They loose them all the time.” Harry felt like crying. “But I did nothing wrong, did I?” Hermione who had kept her mouth shut the entire lesson said. “Of course not, Harry, you just weren't prepared. Next time you will be. Easy as it is. I will study with you.” Ron looked at her disbelievingly. “That's your plan, really?” He muttered. But Harry agreed: “Thanks Hermione. We might do that.” Then he forced himself to look cheerful again. “So what's for dinner?” He asked. “Boys.” Hermione laughed. “One second you are all serious and the next all you want is eat.” “What's wrong about that?” Ron asked her. But Hermione just stormed after Harry towards the great hall.


	7. Rescue

The next day Harry met Hagrid outside in the yard while he explored the grounds together with Hermione. Hagrid invited him cheerfully to visit him the next day. Harry thankfully accepted. He had never been invited before.

Any upcoming afternoon Harry went to Hagrid's hut where he drank tea and ate cake with the giant. The hut was little and dusty but Harry liked from the first second. Hagrid also got a huge dog named fang and Norbert, the little Dragon. Harry who had only heard of dragons from tales was amazed. He spent the whole afternoon playing with Hagrid's unusual pets who were despite their dangerous looks really amicable.

Therefore Harry mismanaged the time and had to sneak back into the castle long after curfew when it was already dark outside.

Inwardly he was cursing himself for his foolishness. He wasn't even two weeks at Hogwarts and he just managed to break a rule but he was all the more determined not to get caught, some hope which was scattered the very moment he sat food into the castle. First he didn't see the black figure standing at the stairs. Harry only noticed as he heard his name thundered. ”Mr. Potter.” Harry's head shot up. “What does a Gryffendor such as yourself do here after curfew?” Snape's voice was cutting. “I-” Harry stuttered but Snape interrupted him. “If you think the rules don't apply to you just because you are the famous chosen one you are immensely mistaken. I won't pamper you around like everyone else does because of your fame. You may not believe it but you are not extraordinary. Indeed you are nothing more than a stupid Gryffendor who doesn't know his place. Just like your father.” Harry listened intimidated to Snape's rant while he looked into the black, fathomless eyes rather confused. Therefore you will serve detention when-.” Snape stopped abruptly as Dumbledore appeared behind the corner. “Ah, good evening, Severus. And you must be Harry.” Dumbledore beamed at the young Gryffendor who didn't have a clue what was happening but knew due to Snape's angry face he was saved. “Nice to meet you, sir. I am myself delighted to finally see you. Hagrid told me so much about you.” Harry replied politely. “How would you like to visit me at my office the next days?” Harry accepted the offer happily while Snape glared like he would like to throttle the headmaster any minute. But this didn't alter Dumbledore's cheerful mood. “Well, then it's set. Maybe you should return to your dorm? The corridors aren't as enjoyable to this nighty hour as your dorm, don't you agree?” Harry had to hold back a smile but he nodded enthusiastically and then excused himself quickly. He had the feeling Snape might explode any minute.


	8. History

Harry stood in front of the gargoyles who hid the entrance to the headmasters office. At dinner McGonagall had informed him about an appointment with the headmaster and Harry was quite curious why the headmaster wanted to talk to him. Hastily he mumbled the password “Lemondrops” towards the mean looking, stone monster and immediately it gave way so Harry could follow the spiral staircase. Upstairs, he stood in front of a large wooden door and wondered if he should just enter or knock as they swung open just by themselves. Intrigued Harry entered the room. It was round, a perfect circle with bookshelves framed walls and many odd looking instruments which made a sound now and then. Then Harry's gaze was drawn to onto a bird which more exceptional than any bird Harry had ever seen. It was slightly taller than the hawk he had seen on the zoo and its feather shone in a fiery orange. It look so beautiful Harry emerged closer without a second thought. He stretched his hand out to touch the birds shiny feathers. They felt warm and soft. Harry petted the bird until remembered why he had come here. He drew his hand back and looked around the room until he spotted the old man with a silver beard who wore a mint green cloak sitting behind the grand desk. “Good evening, Harry.” The headmaster said. “Hullo, headmaster” Harry mumbled sullenly because he knew he had been rude. “I see you like fawks.” Dumbledore said cheerfully. “Oh yeah, he is beautiful, Sir.” Harry replied awed. The old man chuckled softly and directed towards his desk. “Please take a seat, Harry.” As Harry sat in one of those ridiculousl comfortable chairs the headmaster watched him with a new interest. “Do you want a cup tee, Harry?” He asked then. “I wouldn't mind one. Thank you.” Harry answered politely and immediately a tray with two cups appeared. “It's bitter lemon. I hope you like it although its quite sour.” Dumbledore said taking his cup and leaning back in his enormous armchair. Carefully Harry took a sip and grimaced but Dumbledore didn't seem to notice. “You are probably wondering why I called you here, Harry.” Harry looked up to meet the headmaster's concerned eyes. “Well, yes.” He answered truthfully. “Hagrid kindly informed me you still don't now your history. So if you have any questions about your parents or yourself you can ask them now.” Dumbledore explained. Suddenly an unusual seriousness overshadowed the headmaster's known cheerfulness but the humorous twinkle in his eyes remained. “That is very kind of you, sir.” Harry said formally while his head felt suddenly full of unasked questions but he couldn't grasp any of them. At Dumbledore's expectant look he just blurted: “Why are my parents dead?” “Straight to the point then.” Dumbledore sighed. “I'm sorry, Harry. The first thing you ask has to be such a sad one. You know, before you were born a dark wizard named Voldemort arose and tried to conquer wizard Britain. He was a very powerful and cruel man who had a huge lot of followers back then. Naturally, we, that means a great part of the english wizarding community, tried to defend ourselves against his influence but he was strong. Your parents -they were just married – went into hiding then to protect you. Before then they were two of our most reliable defenders and had made themselves a respectable amount of enemies. So they retired to keep you safe but sadly they weren't. Short after they were found dead in their hideout because Voldemort himself had come after them in order to kill them. I am sorry, Harry, but I blame myself personally that they were found out. I should have protected them stronger. I apologize.” In Dumbledore's eyes glittered tears and Harry felt embarrassed. He couldn't really grasp what the headmaster had just told him. Dazed he asked. “And what happened to Voldemort?” “Well, that is the real mystery because that very day he disappeared.” Dumbledore silenced to let the words sink in. “But you surely have a guess?” Harry asked disbelievingly. “To tell the truth, yes. But nothing that concerns you now, Harry. So don't worry.” Harry looked at Dumbledore to determine why he wouldn't tell him more. Then he asked. “Where was I that day?” He noticed Dumbledore's eyes going wet again. “You were there with them. Yet, you are the only one who survived.” Harry felt sick. “I was there?” He whispered. “Yes, you were still a toddler. I don't expect you to remember. But you were found there, lying next to your mother with this scar on your head. I am really sorry to tell you this. But you have to know why our world celebrates you as a war hero. Because of your scar many think you survived the killing curse, the most powerful curse there is and the disappearance of Voldemort only did add to the rumors. Therefore they warship you as the boy who lived, who defeated the dark lord.” Dumbledore shot Harry another one of his concerned looks. “I understand.” Harry said his voice sounding hollow. Swiftly he turned his head away because he felt like crying. “I understand it is a bit much to take at once.” Dumbledore said soothingly. “Do you really think I defeated him?” Harry asked. “No, I don't. But your scar is indeed a rare magical one. It might be the killing curse which caused it. And although there is no exact proof I hope its not. There are already to much true rumors we don't need this one, too.” Dumbledore sighed. “How come I ended up living with my relatives?” Harry asked then. “I thought you wouldn't have to life to the hardships your fame would cause you stayed in the muggle world. “I see.” Harry felt like throwing something against the old coots head. “Hardships of fame?” He thought bitterly. “Because of this man he had to life much more pain than a little fame.” Abruptly he stood up. “I am leaving now, sir.” He announced. “Thank you for the tee.” He turned around without looking back at the man. “What's wrong, Harry? Has something upset you?” “No, I just need some air. Goodbye, headmaster.” Harry said hurriedly and stormed out of the office, a thousand thoughts swirling in his head. He didn't care where he ran. He just wanted to never stop. He wanted the exhaustion to overwhelm him, to overshadow the roaring pain. Just. Don't. Stop.


	9. Encounter

Sudden Harry saw his professor storm towards him, his dark robes billowing behind him. Harry nearly jumped. He could see the man's anger by the menacing expression of his face. Did Snape practice to so frightening? Snape drew his wand and lit it with a silent lumos. “ Still thinking your presence in this particularly corridor goes as inventory, do you? Snape's thin lips curled into a sneer. “I am sorry, professor, but invited me for tea and then...” Harry looked at his feet because now things came rushing down onto him again. “Yes?” Snape queried in his deep voice. “Well, things got kind of out of control and...so I left.” Harry finished his explanation slowly. “I have the impression things often go out of control if you are involved, Mr. Potter.” Snape said coldly. “That's what I thought, too.” Harry blurted ignoring Snape 's dripping sarcasm. “I t is ridiculous, isn't? Me as the goddamn savior of the world?”  Harry was close to crying but he would rather die but let Snape see his tears. Quickly, he punched against the cold stonewall next to him. “Beats me but I am the hell not prepared to accept any of this.”  He cursed . “Potter.” Snape barked. “Sorry, I just needed to speak up my mind. I hope you don't mind, sir.”  Snape needed a second to gather his thoughts. “It may not have crossed your brain but I do mind if any student discards the rule. I am not going to spoil you like the other teachers. Fifty point from Gryffendor for being caught after curfew and now off to your dorm.”  Snape  roared. Harry threw him the look of a scared and hurt animal but went without further reply back to the Gryffendor tower.  That greasy git. Why did Snape hate him so much? 


	10. Treasures

The months flew by and Harry learned more and more about his new home which Hogwarts clearly had become. Around Christmas Harry knew the castle with its hidden passages and changing corridors by heart. He used to enjoy wandering around and seeking for new ways. While his expeditions as he called them he even managed to find the one or other treasure. His greatest was an old potiontextbook he found in the dungeons, near the potionlabs. For Harry it contained unspeakable knowledge, hundreds of spells so advanced he couldn't even imagine their effects and of course potion receipts. Many were enhanced versions of the original book, but some were obviously created by the author who called himself the halfblood prince. Harry spent so much time with the book, trying those spells or using the written advise to stand up to Snape in potions he soon lost any carefulness regarding the book. Nevertheless, Hermione kept cautious and dragged Harry to discover the author's identity but all they found were traces.  
The holidays came and brought Christmas to Hogwarts. Harry who had never celebrated Christmas was so excited even about the little things like the decoration in the common room his friends often thought he was mental. But how could he explain to them he had never had a Christmas? The nearer 25th came the more excited Harry became. At Christmas Eve, when it was time to exchange presents Harry even needed to check trice if he wasn't dreaming by pinching his right arm. He couldn't believe he would receive any gift but apparently Ron's mother had not only sent his best friend one but Hermione and him, too, which contained a woolen jumper and some self made pastries. From Ron he got his own chess figures and from Hermione a rare book about the secret art of Occlumency. He himself got a signed poster of the cannons for Ron who loved quidditch and an interesting book about time turner for Hermione who loved books. Another extraordinary present he got was an invisibility cloak. It was a really strange piece of cloth because when you wore it you became invisible for every human but not for cats as Harry figured out soon when he walked into Mrs. Norris, Filch's cat, which chased him through the whole castle before he could get rid of it. Another strange thing about the cloak was there wasn't a clue anywhere to be found who had sent the valuable gadget. Despite the cloak Harry just received a gift card with his name written on it which didn't solve any of the questions the trio had. Of course, Hermione trusted the cloak as little as the book of the halfblood prince and therefore she kept nagging Harry to be cautious. But truth to be told this hadn't even been necessary because the snow, those decorations, the cheerful mood and Hogwarts itself put Harry in quite an ecstasy he didn't spent another thought about his new found treasures the whole holidays. Instead he played in the snow, sat in front of a fire, read various books and challenged his two best friends at chess. This way the holidays just flew by and Harry found himself a little surprised as classes started again and the teachers started to brag about homework and additional courses.


	11. Flying rivalty

The most desired of those additional courses were the flying lessons. As soon as the weather changed so that the snow melted away and the green around Hogwarts appeared again their first lesson was due. Their teacher was Madam Hooch, a little witch with short gray hair who had been a famous chaser back in the days. At least Ron told this Harry a million times before they actually met the famous witch. It was a lightly sunny day but it wasn't warm yet when the Gryffendors stood together with the Slytherins in two rows and listened nervously to the instructions of Madam Hooch. To every student's right lay a broom on which he was supposed to fly. Harry eyed his one longingly. He wanted nothing so badly as to mount his broom and fly right away.  
Finally the explanation was over and it was time for the students to do what they had just heard. Eagerly Harry mounted his broom and instantly shot up in the sky. He could he the air rustle in his ears. Flying was awesome. An unknown light feeling gathered in his chest causing him almost to rejoice out loud. He flew a few circles around his friend's heads who had obviously a harder time than him. Ron's head was almost red due to concentration and Hermione muttered anything she knew about flying under her breath while both of them were still fixed to the ground. Harry flew another round and slowly realized that no other student had made it up there for now. That means despite one young Slytherin. It was a blond boy whose name was Draco Malfoy. “Who thought the boy who lived isn't all sound and smoke.” He mocked as Harry flew nearer. Harry was a little confused. “What do you mean?” The boy sight exaggeratedly. “I mean at least you could fly.” Harry shook his head. “Yeah well, I did my best I guess.” Malfoy smirked at him. “Look at this stupid fat baby. I wonder that he can even walk. He, indeed, managed to mount his broom the wrong way round.” The boy snickered and pointed at Neville who shrank under the stern look of Madam Hooch. “Don't say anything bad about Neville. He always does his best.” Harry defended his friend. “Whatever.” The young Slytherin sounded bored suddenly. “Hey, how about we play a little game?” And then he snatched Harry's ring from his finger. “Hey, that's mine! Give it back!” Harry shouted but Malfoy just flew past him while he shouted. “Only if you can catch me.” Swiftly Harry yanked his broom around. “I said you should give it back.” Harry raced after Malfoy who evaded him easily. “To bad for you. I guess then I will keep it.” He smirked and held the ring triumphant in the air. This made Harry blood boil. With all his power he sped up his broom until he reached the Slytherin. Malfoy seemed to be a little surprised to see Harry next to him so quickly but before Harry could grab his ring he managed to throw the ring away from him. Alarmed Harry realized his beloved ring was about to fall into the great lake. Once more he turned his broom around and rushed after his treasure. His hand closed around the ring just inches about the surface. He had caught it just in time. Relieved he flew back to the crowed of student where he was awaited by a lot impressed students but also an infuriated Madam Hooch. His teacher wasn't pleased about Draco and him ignoring her instructions and playing as she called it while they were originally supposed to learn. After an inappropriate comment of snotty Malfoy she finally had enough and send him and Harry to their respective head of house. Even protest of Hermione and Ron didn't better the situation and so Harry had to go to prof. McGonegal. He found his head of house at her office and told her the whole story in the faint hope she would understand. To his delight she even did. She just wanted to know if he really had caught his ring as spectacularly as he described. In return he offered her to show how he had done it. The main topic was at dinner for this day that Harry was the youngest seeker for Gryffendor house in history. 

As McGonegal told the story her colleagues a little smile placed on Snape's lips which he wiped away quickly before anyone saw it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry. But I haven't written the following chapters yet. Don't worry they are just fillers which bore me to death because nothing is going to happen. I just planned that Harry finishes his first year and goes to the Weasleys over summer. The next chapter is set in his second year.  
> Hope you enjoy his journey so far.  
> xoxo dreamingboy


	12. Wrecking escalation

It was Friday the thirteenth. Professor Flitwick had his second year charm class practice the leviatus charm and was delighted to see Hermione working it perfectly at her first try. Harry watched Hermione in admiration who just had earned another five housepoints. Secretly, he was contentious with just watching her and Ron try because he felt a bit itchy today. Not exactly ill but not well either. He debated inwardly about excusing himself and just skip classes for today but then he would have his friends worrying about him all day. He didn't want to have that either. Heavily sighing Harry cast a halfhearted leviatus and watched amazed his whole desk crashing into the ceiling. Flitwick wasn't pleased with his result and took the points Hermione just won although Harry explained he didn't intent to leviate his whole desk. Secretly Flitwick was amazed by Harry. He had never known a student who possessed such raw power in 2 nd  year. How fortunate for the boy who lived to have such an extraordinary power supply. But he was a little worried too because such power certainly needed training to be wielded properly. He would have to talk to the boys head of house about this matter. Flitwick dismissed the class early today so the Gryffendors happened to arrive a bit earlier than usual at the dungeons for their next lesson. Outside the laboratory in the corridors it usually was cold and thick steam used to gather about their heads while they waited for Snape to let them in. But today Harry didn't feel cold at all. Instead an unknown heat was rushing through him made him pace the corridor up and down. “Is everything alright, mate?” Ron asked wondering why Harry was this active so early in the morning. “Yeah. Why shouldn't?” Harry replied. This moment the door to leading to the laboratory opened. “God, let this be over quickly.” Harry muttered to Ron before they slumped onto their bench. “I hope the greasy git don't take more than thirty points today so Gryffendor keeps on top.” Ron grinned. Unfortunately Snape was in a particular bad mood today. He barely talked and just pointed towards the board where a short description of a potion was written in neat letters. “Just brew you insufferable imbeciles.” He muttered and went to his desk. Harry who had seen such reactions of his uncle after a lot of alcohol often tensed. Suddenly he felt scared. What if Snape had a hangover and was even more peevish than usual? Harry didn't dare to think about it but focused his mind onto the assigned task. Soon after, Snape began striding through the room making rude comments about the Gryffendor potions, much to the pleasure of the Slytherins. The moment Neville broke out in little sobs Harry had have enough. He didn't felt well the whole day and pretended to be fine in order to keep his friends from worrying and Snape acted as he owned the right to be the greasiest git in the world. Dammit. Harry was pissed off. Little later Snape took another round through the room. This time Harry wasn't as lucky because Snape stopped right in front of his cauldron and eyed the content sufficiently. “Potter, this will be zero points for today.” He said smugly and turned around to go. “Why, what have I done wrong this time? Harry fumed. “Because I said so.” Snape said menacingly. “But that's unfair.” Harry shouted. “I didn't-” But he was cut off by Snape barking: “15 points from Gryffendor for complaining. Just get back to work.” Snape turned around a smug curl placing on his thin lips. “Greasy old git, I hate you.” Harry spat while tears gathered in his eyes. Quickly he wiped them away. “20 further points from Gryffendor. Don't make it 50, you imbecile.” Snape roared. The silence that stretched out now was deadly. Most Gryffendors even had stopped breathing. Next to Harry Ron was biting his bottom lip in fury while Neville looked like he might start crying again any second. But Harry could only sense the itchy feeling right now which grew bigger with every syllable he shouted until he yelled with all he got. “SNAPE YOU FUCKING BASTARD.” Snape turned around looking all to ready to kill Harry here and now. But Harry did mind. The itchy feeling threatened to consume him and provided him with new anger simultaneously. No, Harry wasn't done yet. “YOU ARE AN UNFAIR GREASY UGLY ASSHOLE. I LOATHE YOU!” He shouted. Harry could feel his magic electrify around him, emitting little sparks into the air. Suddenly Snape stilled. “Potter, calm down.” He ordered sternly nonetheless to late. With a loud BOOOOM the whole laboratory shattered to peaces.

What followed was an unnatural silence which grew into a ghostly eternity, til suddenly interrupted by Snape exclaiming: “POTTER YOU IMBECILE. DETENTION FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR FOR WRECKING MY LABORARTORY.” Most of the students had been able to save themselves to the front of class due to his protection charm. But Harry wasn't among them. “Potter, where are you?” Snape demanded furiously. The students just stared at him intimidated. “Leave the room instantly. Those of you who are injured are to report at the hospital wig.” Snape ordered tersely the scared pupils who went relieved to the door which no longer existed. Meanwhile Snape didn't loose any time. He scanned the room thoroughly. His heart beating faster. What would he tell Dumbledore if his precious golden boy had hurt himself in his class? Then he spotted Potter lying under a blown away desk. Snape leviated the object and a torn body appeared. Harry opened his eyes dizzily. He didn't know where he was. Why was that desk flying above him? Curiously he tried to move but a sharp pain made him wince. “Stupid boy.” Snape muttered ushering towards the lifeless body. “I'm sorry, professor. I didn't mean to wreck your lab.” Harry croaked. “Insufferable brat. Look at the mess. You will deserve a lifetime of detention.” Snape spat. “Can you go up?” He asked after a moment of silence. “My body is aching.” Harry stated. “Well, can you or can't?” Snape hissed annoyed. “No.” The boy winced again. With flick of his wand Snape ordered some potions out of the store rooms which fortunately hadn't been wrecked by Potters outburst. “Drink up.” He ordered the now trembling figure on the ground. Thankfully Harry grabbed the first potion and downed it. “Thank you, sir.” He breathed after the last. Snape just grunted at him. Then Harry tried to get up to his feet but he had lost any feeling for balance due to the explosion and so he just stumbled over his feet before he crashed to the ground. “Pathetic as always.” Snape spat but Harry ignored him trying to use his feet once more. As he was able to stand finally Snape marched towards him. Anger was contorting his normally elegant features. Harry wished his legs would move so he could run away but they refused. So he could do nothing but stare intimidated at his professor. “Potter, since you are up safe and sound, just you wait til I am finished with you. No student ever has dared to wreck my laboratory.” Snape roared yanking Harry up by his collar and pressing him against the wall. I promise you will suffer for this.” Snape whispered. “Detention. Til I am satisfied. Every evening. Report to my office at eight this evening.” Then Snape turned around to leave. He could hear Harry slumping to the ground behind him but he didn't care. This useless child was as arrogant as his father. He would teach him a lesson. As many lessons as it would take...


	13. An uneventful detention

At eight Snape heard a knock on his office door. “You may come in.” He growled. The door opened and the messy head of Potter showed up. “Come here.” Snape said smoothly. Confused the boy arched closer, a look of pure terror displayed on his face. Good, any Potter should suffer as possible. Snape flicked his wand and a board appeared. Potter eyed it afraid but also confused. Stupid child. “You will write the following sentence about 500 times, Potter. _I,_ _Harry Potter,_ _am an idiotic and foolish Gryffendor_ _and_ _will never break Professor Snape_ _'_ _s property again._ You got that? Then begin. I don't care how long it will take you. You will not leave until you have finished.” Snape said smugly. Harry just gaped at him. Perfect. The little dimwit would be here forever if he didn't stop acting like a fool all the time. Snape resumed his work at the desk. “Start now or I make it a thousand.” He warned. That let the boy move. He would almost enjoy having the boy in detention. The hurt expression displayed on the boys face it did only fuel Snape's wish to torment Potter's brood. Finally his time had come...

After a long evening of silence which was only disturbed by the scratching sound of chalk Harry finally finished his last sentence. His right hand hurt and his legs, still injured since the accident, burned like fire. He tried to control his features and looked towards Snape who was still sitting behind his desk reading a book or something. Harry raised his dry voice: “Professor, I am finished.” Snape looked as if he had completely forgotten Harry's presence but growled. “Fine. You may leave now. I expect you back tomorrow evening. Don't be late.” Hurriedly Harry excused himself. Relieved, he entered his dorm and threw himself onto his bed. He didn't even bother to change because he was too tired. Snape genuinely overdid it with detentions.

 

* * *

 

The next evening Harry entered Snape's office a little late because Wood had outstretched the quidditch practice. The professor seemed to be in a rather nasty mood today. His black eyes glittered malicious as he looked down onto Harry with a hungry look in his eyes. “Like a wolf surrounding his prey.” Harry thought anxious. Suddenly Snape grabbed his arm and pulled him across the corridor where the wrecked lab was. “Today you will begin to clean the laboratory. Give me your wand” Snape drawled. At Harry's questioning look he added. “Without magic.” Harry rolled his eyes and handed his wand over. “Don't think you can trick me. I will be in my office.” Snape hissed and swept back into his office. Harry entered the room. What awaited him was a chaos of desks, cauldrons and dirt. Halfheartedly Harry began putting aside cauldrons and desks. As he was finished he spotted Snape leaning in the door frame, his black eyes fixated onto Harry. “Go into the store rooms and take the things you need for cleaning the ground of this potion.” Snape pointed at the bobbling purple mass on the floor. It is pretty dangerous to metal, so I suggest you remove your ring if you don't want to cause another explosion.” Snape advised. Hesitantly Harry removed the precious object and put it onto one of the tables starring at it longingly. “What's that ring you have there?” Snape asked barely interested. “It's my fathers.” Harry answered deliberately. “Odd.” Snape said and turned to leave. “What do you mean?” Harry asked. Snape threw him an annoyed look. “It is the only thing of him I own.” Harry said defiantly. “Go to work, Potter.” Snape growled and left the lab.

Later, as Harry had cleaned up the whole floor his still injured legs sobbed again due to the kneeling. Harry winced as he got up. Slowly he let his jeans down to have a better view over his injuries. He had several infected or bloody wounds. Harry sighed he could heal the bloody ones easily but the others wouldn't vanish that easily. Mentally focusing at healing those wounds he let his hands wander his tights. He felt the pain sweeping away slowly and watched amazed his skin to renew itself. Relieved he put his clothed himself up and looked around the room just to find a shocked Snape looking at him. Harry let out a surprised yelp. “Potter!” Snape barked. “Professor.” Harry whispered with flushed cheeks. “I am so sorry.” The man took a menacing step towards him. “What in in the devils name were you doing?” Harry looked at him embarrassed. “I-I haven't seen you there, Professor, really. I am sorry.” He stuttered. “Just tell me.” The man spat. “I didn't mean to undress myself. I just wanted to heal my injuries so I could work harder.” Harry explained desperately. “You healed your injuries?” Snape circled Harry as if he was looking at a wronged experiment. “Yes, sir.” Harry stated flatly. “I am really sorry. I didn't know I wasn't supposed to.” Snape silenced him with another menacing glare. “Stop babbling nonsense, Potter, and just tell me how you did it.” Harry glanced at him suspiciously. “I don't really now. I just concentrate on healing.” At Snape's disapproving glance Harry added quickly: “Wait, I can show you.” Swiftly he bit in one of his hands. Taken aback Snape watched the blood dwell from the offered hand. “Potter, what are you doing?” He said but Harry ignored him and just put his other hand about the fresh wound. “I just need to focus.” Harry said and suddenly Snape could sense raw power surrounding the boy. He was sure it was similar to the one he had felt as the boy had wrecked his laboratory. “Potter, stop this!” Snape ordered alarmed. Surprised Harry looked at his professor, then at his hand. “I am done.” He said and stretched his hand out. Where seconds ago a bloody wound had been was now new, pink skin. Snape was amazed. “Since when can you do this?” He asked. “I don't know. Forever I think.” Harry said remembering how often uncle Vernon had hurt him so badly he had to this. “Interesting. This is really rare magic you posses, Potter. Did you ever a research on it?” Snape asked the confused Harry. “No, why would I? Since I am a wizard isn't it a common ability?” He queried. “No, you dimwit. But of course you don't know. I shouldn't have expected anything different of a blessed Potter.” Snape hissed. Well, that hurt. Harry felt really stupid so he refrained from defending himself. He'd just let Snape insult him til he eventually stopped. “Detention is over, Potter. Tomorrow, same time.” Snape announced then. “Yes, sir.” Harry went to the desk to fetch his treasure. “Eh, sir?” Slowly he turned around, green eyes shining brightly. “What is it, Potter?” Snape barked. “Can I have my ring back?” Harry pointed at Snape's hand in which he hold still the black ring. Wordlessly, Snape threw it at Harry who fetched it effortlessly. “Ah the golden seeker.” Snape sneered but Harry didn't get caught on this. “Why do you show so much interest on this particular ring?” He asked. “Well, I relate many good memories with it.” Snape said absently. “What memories?” Harry asked. “Enough. Go to bed, Potter, or I will take points.” The professor threatened. Harry fled, his head spinning hence this detention had given him a whole lot to think about.


	14. Mysteries

Harry wandered the corridors aimlessly. It was short after dinner but he didn't want to go to his detention right away since the slightest thought about yesterday's events made him blush. He couldn't face Snape again. He really couldn't. But of course he had to, because he was the boy who wrecked the potion lab. The whole day cheers had accompanied everywhere war shipping his sacrifice. And it really was a sacrifice because the murderous glances Snape pierced him with whenever they met in the corridors only became more menacing with every new song. Harry shivered. Time to accept his fate. As he stood before the office door he took a few calming breaths. He would need them. After all he would face the devil. He knocked and the door opened instantly giving him way to hell. Uncertainly he entered the room. “Good evening, professor.” He mumbled shyly. “You are late, Potter.” Snape greeted him. Harry tried to look as apologetic as possible. Obviously it worked because Snape drawled bored. “Today I want you to resume to clean up the laboratory.” Immediately Harry turned around, happy to flee from Snape so soon. “But first I want you to drink this.” The professor hold a vial in his outstretched hand. “What is it?” Harry asked suspiciously. “Don't ask stupid questions. It's just a potion to cure those infections on your legs.” Snape spat. Harry blushed and took the potion. “Thank you, professor.” He mumbled. “Since we don't want our hero who blew the laboratory to unfasten his pants again.” Snape sneered. Harry looked at him in horror and fled from the room.

In the destroyed lab Harry needed some minutes to calm down entirely. Why was this man always so cruel? He looked at the vial in his hand and smiled. At second thought he maybe wasn't so bad after all? Gratefully he downed the potion and began to work his way through the mess. After a while he wondered if Snape wasn't going to check on his work. As the man hadn't showed up almost the whole evening Harry dared to take short break. His back hurt from all the cleaning he had done and there was still so much to do. Suddenly he heard the angry voice of the potionmaster from behind: “Potter, did I say you were allowed to stop working?” Terrified Harry turned around. Snape look as he wanted to threw something at him. “I just took a short break. I didn't know I wasn't supposed to.” Harry defended himself. “May I remind you that you will serve detention til the whole laboratory is fixed?” The potionmaster smiled nastily. “But without magic this will take weeks.” Harry cried. “Then I suggest you continue working.” The potionmaster said smugly and left the room. Harry gaped back at him. Slimy bastard. How could he do this to him? Harry looked at the mess that still surrounded him. If he only was supposed to do magic. It would only take seconds to rebuild everything. Why the hell did one need a wand to work spells? Harry frowned. He thought about that the rest of the evening. Why did wizards relay onto something that could be taken away so easily, weaken and disable them only in seconds? Why didn't spells work without a wand? He remembered how Snape literally never used his wands to work magic. Did the greasy git manage to use spells without a wand? Harry thought about it deeply. Dumbledore didn't seem to carry a wand with him either most of the time and still did magic. Probably it was possible for more trained wizards. Harry frowned. Still, he would show that asshole. Slowly Harry went to the middle of the room and took a long look, trying to memorize the damage he had to repair. Then he took a deep breath and reached out for his magic. Recently he had become much stronger, so he could literally hear his magic humming around him. He tried to focus the power. Instantly he saw little sparks surround him. No he didn't need such a destructive magic again, neither the gentle one he used to heal injuries. No, he needed something constructive and organizing. He waited some time to gather his energy while he imagined a completely fixed lab. Then he led go. He opened his eyes and saw everything fly to its place with such speed Harry almost got hit by a desk. Swiftly he saved himself to the door. Tired he watched the lab fixing itself. He hadn't estimated to release this much magic. But still everything went fine. Harry watched his work quite pleased. Yawning he let himself fall onto one of those repaired banks and instantly in deep slumber. After all he had earned it.

He was woken by the sharp voice of his professor. “Potter, you lazy dimwit, get up.” The man hissed yanking him up by his sleeve. Harry moaned. “Go away, Ron.” He mumbled. “Potter, I warn you for the last time, get up!” Snape hissed. The pleasant numbness in Harry's head faded away quickly and he jolted up. “Professor, sorry I fell asleep.” He blurted. But Snape ignored him. “Who helped you fix the laboratory?” Harry looked around quite surprised. “It's fixed?” Snape tightened his grip around Harry's arm. “Don't fool me, Potter, who did this?” “I don't know.” The boy cried. “I will find out who of your little friends did this and punish them.” Snape hissed. “You will punish someone to repair your beloved lab?” Harry uttered. “Enough, Potter. Don't think your detentions are over just because the laboratory isn't wrecked anymore.” Snape spat. “Tomorrow. 8 pm. My office.” Snape ordered before he turned around on his heels and left the room. Harry just could stare after him while rage welled up in him. That greasy git. He really wanted to see Harry suffer. Cursing under his breath, Harry who didn't want to spend another second in the dungeons hurried to reach his beloved bed.

* * *

 

The next day he woke up with a headache and his body hurt like someone had pierced it with a thousand needles. Carefully Harry opened his eyes only to have his stomach flip flop because the whole room was spinning. “Get up, mate. We are already late.” He heard Ron yell. “I can't. I feel sick.” Harry replied weakly. “Are you alright? Should I get someone?” Ron's worried voice sounded from behind the curtain. “No. I will be fine. I just need some sleep.” His friend seemed not entirely convinced but left the room.

As everyone had left Harry tried to dose off once more but he felt so terrible that he decided to visit the hospital wig. On shaky legs he tried to made his way from his bed to the other side of the castle. This was quite difficult because waves of nausea caught him as soon as he had left the staircase by the great hall. Quickly he ushered in the closest bathroom where his stomach turned upside down. While he was waiting for it to stop he heard someone enter the room.

“Potter, you look remarkable.” Snape's sneering voice sounded from behind. “Thank you, sir.” Harry managed then he hurled once more. “Are you in any condition to reach the hospital wig?” Snape queried. “I guess I just have to.” Harry managed between some rough gasps for air. “Just the noble Gryffendor.” Snape sneered. “Listen, isn't there a potion that would cure myself instantly?” Harry asked helplessly. “No, Potter. The cause for your illness is your total drain of magic power. It's quite unusual for a wizard your age. Just how you managed to get your entire power absorbed?” Snape drawled tracing his lips with his index finger. “What would require such an amount of magic?” Snape said mockingly to Harry who didn't noticed because his stomach turned upside down once more. Did the boy really fix his potion laboratory? But without a wand, in second year? It must be his imagination. Although the symptoms were quite clear... Snape decided he had watched enough Potter in pain for today and effortlessly chanted some potions flying towards him. Harry who was finally able to stand by now watched him curiously. “I thought there weren't a cure.” He said. “Yes, unfortunately you will have to wait for your power to return for some time. This will be quite unpleasant for you. But you will see yourself.” Snape said and handed Harry those vials. “As I said this will not heal you put mend the symptoms at least a little. Have fun.” With that bitter comment nagging him Harry watched Snape leave. He wanted to thank his professor for the potions but another wave of nausea caught him.

As Harry finally managed to went back to Gryffendor tower he was so tired he instantly dropped to his bed where he slept till his friends came back after class. “How was you day?” He asked Ron weakly. “Not so bad. We practiced the leviatus spell in charms again and history of magic was as boring as ever but that greasy git was in a particularly foul mood today.” Ron muttered why he searched for something in his trunk. “No surprise there.” Harry grinned but Ron who hadn't heard added over his shoulder: “By the way he said your detention will take place as soon as you are able to get out of your bed.” “Can't he ever let something slip? His lab is fixed. So what does he want from me?” Harry groaned. “No idea, man. Do you want to join us by playing a round with Dean and me?” He asked then. “No, I still don't feel good.” Harry said slumping back into his pillows. “Alright, mate. Just call me if there's a problem.” That said, Ron left the room while Harry stayed in his bed and tried to understand what Snape had meant. Drained of power? His power seemed to grow stronger every day and felt more and more like current, always energized, always rushing through him. So how could he have his power absorbed for god's sake?

* * *

 

The next morning Harry woke up feeling already better. He wasn't in pain any more but he still had very weak legs. Nevertheless he decided to attend class because he wanted to do a research in the library later the day. Apparently there were quite a few things going on in the school. Various student had been petrified to stone and rumors spread the chamber of secrets had been opened. Therefore he met Hermione after class in the library. Ron who had accompanied him excused himself rather quickly which earned him a speech from Hermione. After he had left the two Gryffendors started searching for various books. While Hermione studied everything connected to the recent attacks on students Harry looked for information about the chamber of secrets. Rumors went around about him being the heir of Slytherin who opened the chamber of secrets and attacked those students. A few even accused him while class and therefore Harry really was on edge. He couldn't have that too right now, not with Snape around and everything. So he couldn't keep his mind at the book he was reading because he kept thinking about what Snape had said. Futile, he tried to remember the evening Snape's lab was reconstructed and the day he blew off Snape's lab. Was there a connection? But what if it was? Now that he thought of it both days were quite blurry to him and he had no memory what he had done during those events. Listless he skipped through the book Hermione had given him. Something wasn't right with him but he didn't know what.

Harry escaped dinner early because he couldn't stand being stared at one second longer. The great hall was more silent than ever these days and people avoided Harry who was really glad about his two friends at his side. After a rather unfriendly quarrel with Malefoy before he could actully left Harry didn't even bother to knock on the door of Snape's office. He was in such a bad mood he felt like smashing anything in his way. Snape who sat behind his desk like usually looked up. “Potter. You are early.” He growled obviously annoyed about Harry's rude entrance. “I don't care.” Harry stated and slumped onto the stool in front of him. “What nonsense do you want me to waste this evening with?” He asked through clenched teeth. Snape shot him a look of utter loath. “Remember who you are talking to.” He hissed. “Let me guess. The greasiest git of all time?” Harry suggested. “Potter, twenty points from Gryffendor.” Snape barked. “You're lab is repaired so what do you want from me?” The boy yelled. “I want you to quietly sit down.” Snape rose from his chair looking ready to hex Harry if he didn't obey. So Harry grudgingly slumped down on the stool. “If you are finished with being pathetic I wish to have a talk with you.” Snape said in forced calm. Defiantly Harry looked up to him. “About what?” He asked. “I don't know who repaired your lab. You can't punish anyone for being nice to you. That's just sick.” He muttered. Snape suppressed the urge to yell at the boy but he maintained his indifference. “No you are mistaken. What I do want to talk about is your total lack of control and I don't mean your usual misbehavior and insolence. It is the amount of power you wield which is quite uncommon for a wizard your age. It is only natural for you to struggle under it's pressure and I am offering to help you.” Snape managed to say. Harry threw him an offended look. “I am perfectly fine by myself. Thank you, professor.” Damn that little brat. The boy evidently dared to stand up and leave. Hell no, Snape wouldn't allow that. With one swift movement he rose from his chair and pinned the surprised Harry to the wall. “Listen, Potter. You will tell me what is wrong with you now or I'll hex you to oblivion.” Snape glared down to the boy who flinched intimidated but answered cockily. “That would be nice. I am tempted to forget...” The even tone the boy spoke in disturbed Snape even more. Was the boy used to such sort of threats? Swiftly Snape cast a silent and wandless fixing spell to keep Harry at place while he returned to his desk where he genuinely watched the boy's struggle to get free. Eventually Harry stopped to threw a loathing look at him. “Finally giving up?” Snape said slightly amused. “What do you want from me?” Harry asked. “Harry, I know you are a parselmouth.” Snape said dryly. “I am a what?” Harry cried. “You heard me, Potter, and I have a fair feeling you know what I am talking about.” Harry turned his head to away. A cold feeling gathering in his chest. His only thought was that Snape mustn't know. Nobody should. “Do you really think I am responsible for the attacks on students?” He whispered. “Don't be stupid. Only a fool would suspect a mere second year to cause such disgrace.” Snape spat. “But everyone else thinks I am the culprit.” Harry mumbled defiantly. “I don't care what any student might think and I advise you to do the same.” Harry threw his professor a miserable look. “Why do you have such an intent on my well being all of sudden?” Snape sneered at him. “Don't mistake my interest on your abilities for sympathy, Potter. I only happen to observe your rare magic ability which needs to be encouraged.” Harry nearly laughed. “Of course. So what do you suggest?” Snape shot Harry an appraising look. “You should search for a way to control this immense power of yours and to excel your healing abilities. Maybe somewhere you are quite undisturbed.” Harry realized Snape was talking about the room of requirements. Why hadn't he thought of that himself? “Besides I advise you to remain unseen in regard of such activities to divert the immense suspicion you are already under. If you need help with anything don't be afraid to come to me. I may be not your head of house but since I approached you in this matter I won't mind.” Harry stared at Snape surprised at this unusually kind words. “Thank you, sir.” Harry said sincerely. It came to him the conversation was probably over so he went to the door but was stopped by the unbelieving glare Snape looked at him with. “What is it?” He asked his heart sinking into his chest. Everything went fine til now. What happened? “Potter, you are sure you aren't the heir of Slytherin, are you?” Snape said huskily. “Err, I never attacked anyone, professor. Why?” Sighing Snape waved his hand dismissively. “Nothing. Just go.” Harry hurried to leave the room. Once more his head was swirling with thousands of unfinished thoughts. What the hell happened? Why did Snape help him? Although the man didn't do anything actually. Harry realized it still wasn't late and so he went to the room of requirements. After all Snape had suggested he should come there. Unseen Harry managed to reach the room and slipped in. The room greeted him with a lit fireplace, a sofa in front of it, a mass of bookshelves and many things which looked like they belonged into a museum. Harry didn't know why the room turned into this shape exactly but since this should be what would suit him most for the moment he gladly embraced it.

Meanwhile Snape paced his office. His usually calm features torn into an especially hard expression. Why had Harry been able to move? Snape hadn't dispelled the fixing hex and after such a short time its effect shouldn't have worn of. Besides he still counted himself sane and healthy. So there was only one possibility. Potter. What was wrong with the brat? Was he really a parselmouth? But even if how did Harry manage to discard the fixing hex? He shouldn't be able to do that. Snape told himself to keep a closer eye to the boy. Although he didn't believe Harry was able to open the chamber there was still something odd going on regarding the school and Harry. And Snape died to find out.  


	15. Damn, this was unsettling

A few days later Harry was found by Snape who was on patrolling duty in moaning Myrtle's bathroom. It was an eerie scene. The young Weasley girl kneeling next to him crying while he laid unconscious on the ground. Above them was the ghost Myrtle who annoyed Snape with rude comments on the situation. He brought them up to the hospital wig and contacted Dumbledore who questioned Ginny about the whole story immediately. Sobbing the girl told them she had been obsessed by some book which made her find the chamber of secrets. She couldn't remember to harm any student but she was sure she was the culprit. By the way Dumbledore looked at her Snape knew there was more to the whole business then the headmaster lead on. Harry couldn't be interrogated at this time because he still hadn't regained consciousness. Ginny told them although she didn't remember much of the events in the chamber of secrets she was sure Harry had come to save her. She told them proudly with loving eyes she had been injured by a deep wound near her heart and Harry had miraculously healed hear which earned her stunned faces of Dumbledore and Snape. After a long inquisition the old coot decided for Ginny to return to Gryffendor tower since she didn't do anything wrong. “Despite the fact that she is terribly dumb.” Severus added in his thoughts. Then Dumbledore returned to his office because “there are things I need attend to.” He said in an important voice. So Snape stayed in the hospital wig alone where he stared at Harry for a long time.  
What the hell had happened? How had Potter managed to get involved? What was wrong with the boy? _Dammit, this was unsettling._

* * *

 

Eventually Harry opened his eyes to find Snape staring at him. He blinked surprised at the man who swiftly changed his worried look to indifference. Confused Harry looked around. Obviously, he was in the hospital wig. “Snape.” He mumbled weakly, a little smile on his lips, before a dangerous sleepiness claimed his head once more. Instantly Snape left the room without looking back.

As Harry awoke next He was surrounded by his two best friends who had a little quarrel right now which they stopped when they noticed Harry's movements. Harry who felt fine now, quite refreshed due to the long sleep couldn't wait to leave the hospital wig with his friends as soon as possible but he was hold back by a stern looking Snape who guided him to the headmaster's office where Harry was supposed to explain the headmaster how he had managed to find the chamber and how he saved Ginny and everything. But Harry didn't remember much what the headmaster didn't knew by now. Besides during the whole interrogation he felt the burning stare of the potionmaster at his back which made him super nervous. Harry sensed he had forgotten something important. Finally Dumbledore arranged that Harry would be released of the hospital wig. If the headmaster wasn't satisfied with the answers he had he didn't let on so because he didn't requested another meeting. Harry was glad to escape the whole situation like this. He had to enough anyway because he had to homework worth a week and quidditch practice for Gryffendor's last game against Ravenclaw and the finals were around the corner, too. Nevertheless he still tried to figure out what was missing in his head weeks after the incident. He just couldn't grasp it.

* * *

 

Gradually, the term neared its end leaving Harry once more clueless where he should spent those horrible three months. He debated if he should ask Ron or Hermione if he could stay over but he didn't want them to think something might be wrong with his relatives. Besides much to Harry's pain Dumbledore insisted once more he should visit his uncle's. Well, Harry figured he just had to write his fair old lady and ask her if he could stay with her once more. So he asked her in his next letter. He used to write her from time to time because she obviously liked to be informed about his life as much as Harry loved to hear about hers. Soon Hedwig arrived with a reply saying Mr. Figg would even come and fetch him at King's Cross when the holidays started.  


	16. Burial

The day of departure which used to be Harry's least favorite day of year turned out to be less horrible than anticipated. He credited the prospect of some relaxing holidays for this unusual occurrence. Soon his trunk was packed and he found himself together with Ron, Hermione and Ginny at their favorite compartment of the Hogwarts-express rushing towards their well deserved holidays.

As promised Mr.Figg awaited him at the train station. Harry was moved to tears. During their drive home Harry told her about his year and friends. She wanted to know everything, even how the headmaster was and how the staff was doing. Harry answered deliberately til they reached her home. At her house, Mr. Figg cooked dinner while Harry unpacked his things in his usual room. After a delicious meal Harry watched a TV show with her before he went to bed. He drove off to sleep completely satisfied. This were going to be the best holidays of his life.  
The next weeks he helped his old lady in the garden. The work wasn't easy but he didn't mind because he got a lot of free time which he spent reading every book Mr. Figg possessed. Once a week his old lady took him shopping to the freeland market. Harry enjoyed those little trips very much because they usually walked the short way through the countryside.

* * *

 

One day when they were on their way back home from the market Harry had once more the urge he needed to remember something really fast. This particularly mood intensified as they walked past two guys who wore odd masks. Harry had the feeling he knew them from somewhere. He was just about to ask his old lady about those guys when the first hex passed him only inches. Harry swirled around and drew his wand. What the hell was happening? New hexes flew towards him and he could hear his old lady scream behind him as a stunning hex hit her in the chest. Hastily Harry managed a weak shield charm which was instantly broken by the powerful hexes of the attackers which sent Harry flying. He hit the ground hard with his head. Next to him he could her Mr. Figg's heavy breaths. She, too, had been struck down. Now he remembered. He remembered everything. A sudden wave of nausea caught him. He willed it down. Now it was to late. Now he mustn't panic. Now he needed himself to calm down. The masked guys crept nearer. Harry closed his hand so tight around his wand it hurt and stumbled to his feet, determined to defend his old lady. But in an instant lots of things happened simultaneously.

Before he could even raise his wand one of the attackers had thrown a green spell at him. All Harry could do was watch dump stuck how the hex was going to hit him in the chest. Was this the end? But before the green light bolt could reach him his old lady threw herself in between to cover him from any harm. Harry screamed. No this couldn't be happening. Suddenly another person emerged the scene and pushed him back. Harry shook his old lady. No this couldn't be happening. Her old face still formed a now silent scream. “Please.” Harry whispered. “Please, say something.” But Mr.Figg didn't move. Harry shot out a pained cry. This couldn't be happening. No, this mustn't be. He unleashed his whole power, willed his whole energy to help her but nothing happened. Meanwhile that someone had chased the attackers away. Harry could hear their distant screaming. He didn't know how long he was unable to move. He couldn't do anything but stare at her lifeless body. He felt so broken, so helpless. He wasn't able to do anything. It was his fault. She had died for him, to safe him. He wouldn't forgive himself that. Never. Like in trance Harry stumbled to his feet. He needed to bring her home, to call someone.He dragged her with him. What an eerie scene this must have been, he walking the streets with the dead body of an old woman at Privet Drive, crying.He didn't remember how he even reached her home. But he brought her in her room and lay her at her bed. She had still that stunned expression on her face which let new tears well up inside him. As he had somehow calmed himself down he took the telephone with shaking hands and called the police. They needed to be informed. He remembered everything clearly now. The chamber of secrets. Voldemort. He had been trapped there? He had used Ginny to gain back his powers. And now he was... back?! A cold shiver crawled down Harry's spine. No, this couldn't be happening. Harry sank horrified to the ground. No! This couldn't be. He was in danger now. Everyone he knew was in danger. He needed to go away soon. He needed to return to Hogwarts. Hedwig! He needed to contact Dumbledore instantly! Harry ran up the stairs to his room where he found his owl idly sleeping. Roughly he woke her up what earned him an angry peck. Hastily he explained her what had happened while he wrote a short notice down on a piece of paper. He wasn't sure if she understand every word he said but she landed on his shoulder and rubbed her head on his. This gesture calmed Harry down a little. When he finished his notice he tied it at his owl's feet. As Hedwig had left he went through his room and grabbed his stuff. He needed to leave this house immediately. It too much of a risk for him to stay. Harry took some food and money with him and went to the bust station two blocks afar. He paid a ticket which should bring him just to the next village because he wanted to stay near for her burial.

It was afternoon as the bus dropped him off. Harry wandered around aimlessly til he found an old barn. This would hopefully suffice for the next days til Hedwig got back. He lit a fire and transformed himself a bed. Luckily there wasn't any muggle nearby so no ward alarmed the ministry. The night fell and Harry couldn't do anything but lie awake torn by his own guilt. It was all his fault. Without him his old lady hadn't died, without him his parents hadn't died and now there wasn't anyone who cared for him. He wanted to end this, he wanted to make this pain go away. His power surged around him, fueled by his guilt. He didn't want to think anymore. He just wanted to fly away from his pain...

The next morning he awoke to find himself turned into a bird, a real damn flapping bird. First didn't even recognized it. Only as he tried to reach an itching spot at his nose he noticed something was off because he had goddam wings. Harry tried to reach his trunk which stood a few meters away in the hope to find a mirror but he failed utterly because those damn wings prevented him from walking. Half jumping, half flying he finally reached his trunk only to realize he couldn't open it. What the hell did happen? Harry tried to calm himself. Of all things he could use now turning into a bird was the least. In this state he couldn't even- leave the barn unrecognized? Harry was dumbfound. No one would ever knew it was him when he was a bird. He could do whatever he like now. Of course the fact he didn't know how this happened or else worried him. He needed to work on that first. It took him almost the whole day to figure out that he indeed could change back if he willed his body to do so. So he discovered he could switch between this two forms whenever he liked. This would become handy to him soon. To distract himself from his grief he searched every of his books for a spell or anything that would explain this. He found his answer in the book of the halfblood prince. Obviously this was charm called animagus which could be obviously used to turn the wizard into an animal. Harry was relieved. At least one thing in his life which could been explained easily. He was torn by his guilt. He was confused. He thought he least he could do was attending his old lady's burial. So the next days Harry hoped no one would find him while he roomed as a bird above the cemetery waiting for the burial to take place. It was safer for him than attending unofficially as a boy and raise any dangerous questions by doing so.

When the burial took place Harry just watched the whole business from a by standing tree while silent tears rolled down his beak. He had never felt this hopeless. Even his horrid life at the Dursleys had never been so hard on him. He didn't know what he was supposed to do now. He had lost the one human he cared about most. She had been nothing but good to him. She was the reason he probably had survived the terrible treatment he suffered when he still lived with his relatives for years. Gloomy, he watched the large crowd which had gathered around her grave. She surely knew many people but Harry knew none of them except her son but only from pictures and- Dumbledore and Snape?! Harry almost fell from the branch he was sitting on ejaculating a surprised squeal. His potion professor gave him an annoyed glare. Harry didn't dare to breath. Did they recognize him? But no, Snape just muttered something towards Dumbledore and turned his view away while the other people ignored him completely. Simultaneously Harry's head exploded with questions. Why were they here? What were they doing at the wedding of his old lady? Shouldn't they be searching for him? Were they even searching Hedwig hadn't returned yet and the worst: Nobody seemed to miss him. What should he do? Return to Hogwarts and endanger anyone by doing so? Or keep himself hidden as a bird?

He waited til the burial was over then he approached Dumbledore and Snape who were quietly talking to each other. “Severus, I am worried about Harry. I know he is safest at his relatives but such an attack can't be repeated this near Harry's location. I should have told him he mustn't leave the house.” Harry heard the headmaster say as he roomed above them. “Don't worry yourself. He probably hasn't even noticed a thing.” Snape muttered. “But I think someone should check on him, just in case. We still don't know what happened in the chamber and now since the dark lord is back he should be informed about the whole situation.” Snape nodded approvingly at the headmaster. “I told you not to let the brat go without knowing. It may slipped your mind but the child we are talking about is the damn boy who lived who is supposed to save our world although he has no mentionable abilities despite of his endless insolence.” Dumbledore shot Snape a sharp look. “I am sure you underestimate him. He will turn out fine.” Dumbledore cheered. “I absolutely agree.” Snape said ironically. “The new term begins in three day, anyway. Why should I waste my time consoling him. This is what you planned, didn't you? In my sincerest opinion I think this can wait until he is back, Albus.” Snape said pointedly. “Maybe you are right, Severus.” Dumbledore's eyes followed Harry who still flew above their heads. “Have you ever seen such a beautiful phoenix?” Snape just threw another annoyed glare at Dumbledore before he swirled around and appareted. Dumbledore followed him just seconds after.

Harry almost crashed into a tree as his brain still tried to process the information he just acquired. So they didn't know he had been there. Hedwig hadn't arrived at Hogwarts either. Nobody knew his situation and nobody seemed to care for now. Fine, then he had to take care of himself like he had his whole life. He had to see he reached King's Cross at time and at Hogwarts he would talk to Dumbledore as soon he would have arrived. But what should he tell Dumbledore the headmaster obviously didn't know already? Dumbledore knew the dark lord was back and kept this information purposely hidden. And what did matter some irrelevant happenings in the chamber of secrets now?


	17. Back to normality

The next morning Harry invested his last money into a bus ticket to London. He would spent the next few days there. Maybe he could even visit Diagon Alley before term would start. He reached the city in the evening. He put his trunk into a locker at the station and went straight, hidden under his invisibility cloak, to Gringotts where he took some money out of his vault. This to he stuffed into the vault. Then he went into a supermarket where he swapped unseeingly food against money. Despite he didn't know if it was completely legal to do so this was an emergency. After he had eaten the looted things he turned himself into a bird. Since he couldn't rent himself a room in the leaky cauldron because this sure would drag unwanted attention at him he would spent the night as a bird. It was the safest and most comfortable option for him. He flew to the nearby park and rested himself at a large tree.

The next day he went shopping under his invisibility cloak again but this time at Diagon Alley. This way he almost managed to buy everything he needed for his upcoming year. The rest he would purchase when he finally was at Hogwarts.

At the day of departure Harry woke up early and hurried to change his form and his outworn clothes into his schooluniform then he went to the stage. He was the first to arrive. Odd to see the train so left alone and he wondered what for the old steam lock was used during the rest of the year. He entered the last compartment he used to sit in every year and waited for his friends to arrive. As Ron and Hermione showed up they found a silent, tired and spaced out Harry. They hadn't a clue which caused his unusual behavior but left Harry alone the whole train ride.

At Hogwarts, Harry excused himself lamely from the welcoming dinner and fled to his room. Now he felt kind of safe back in his first real home he noticed how tired he was. It was true he hadn't slept much the last week because he was haunted by nightmares. So he had reached the limit of his strength but whatever he did. He couldn't close his eyes. He lay still awake as his friends came back from the dinner. When everyone in his dorm was deeply snoring Harry stood up driven by his guilt. He was fed up. He needed to get out of here.

 


	18. Grief

Full moon, the starry sky was clear and wide. Harry who lay with his back on the wooden floor of the astronomy tower looked up to the sky. If he could just fly up there his problems down here wouldn't seem so big anymore. It was his first night back at Hogwarts after the Holidays. After the events of summer everything, even laying here, felt wrong to him. He didn't deserve any of this. Every person he cared about died. First his parents and now Mr. Figg. Was he cursed so he did bring bad luck to people who cared about him? Was it fate telling him he wasn't worthy of love? Anyway, it was all his fault. He shouldn't have called her. Because of him Mr. Figg was dead. Harry inhaled sharply. The pain was unbearable. He wanted to cry, to beg some god to take his life for hers.

He wanted to fly away, so no one could find him. No Dursleys, No Voldemort, No Dumbledore, no Snape, to be near her. Maybe the halfblood prince had given him the right hint to do just that...

Meanwhile Snape stood in the shadows suppressing the need to disturb the little figure laying on the ground, to yell at him and give out detention but the pained expression on the boys face made him hesitant. How could his loathsome face be so on edge, be so desperate, be so broken? Snape pushed the thoughts away. The boys reasoning didn't matter to him in this peculiar situation. He mentally prepared himself for a menacing entrance to scare the boy to death if necessary. Slowly, he raised his hand to push the door open wanting to see the utter astonishment on the boys face. But before he could even reach out for the door Potter stood up acting like in trance. Was he compelled? Drawing his wand Snape slit into the room, silently thanks to his years of practice as a spy although he thought Harry wouldn't have noticed him even if he had stormed in as he had planned. Suddenly the boy's known, soaring power was pressing on him. Just what was the boy doing? And should he be stopping it? He decided against it. He could take as much housepoints as he liked later on and he had to admit he was curious about the meaning of this eerie scene. The power emerged and manifested itself like a thick cocoon around the boy. Snape sensed magic of transformation as if- but now the boy couldn't be attempting that -not in his third year- He wouldn't be this foolish- nevertheless all Potters were... Snape knew he had to stop this -NOW. He turned towards the boy, his wand pointed at him, but the cocoon of magic functioned like a shield preventing Snape from getting closer. What the hell was the boy doing? Snape felt the utter loath claiming his guts again. The usual loath against the boy and this time himself because he should have reacted sooner, better, different. He mentally cursed himself for his own foolishness.

Harry noticed little what happened only five feet apart from him. Though he had the distant feeling of being watched as he went to the balcony. He didn't care if someone would take points from him anymore. Snape could take them all. They didn't bring his loved ones back, so to hell with them. What mattered now was his wish and need. Harry pictured a bird in front of his inner eye, a shiny bird like the headmasters to be exact. Then he unleashed his power. The starry sky came closer...

Snape couldn't believe it. Potter really turned right in front of his eyes into a flapping bird. How could the dim whip Potter manage such a thing? Probably sheer luck and his father's knowledge Snape mused. Although his appearance differed a great deal. Snape knew James Potter's animagus form to be a prongs whereas his son looked similar to fawks, Albus' phoenix. “Just how much coincidence does fate allow?” Snape thought as he watched the Phoenix-Potter to fly away while he felt the desire to change into a raven and follow him immediately. Shaking his head disbelievingly Snape left the astronomy tower. There was nothing he could do now or so he told himself at least. Maybe Potter would get himself killed by his little flight.

* * *

 

The next morning Harry woke up freezing at a grass field near the quidditch pitch. He didn't know how he had got there or what happened. The last thing he knew was himself leaving the great hall. Harry sighed heavily. Why did such things only ever happen to him? Shivering due to the cold and rainy weather he went to the castle. Back in Gryffendor tower he met a confused Ron. Harry quite said nothing and just went to bed because he felt exhausted. As he woke up again it was early noon. After a long shower Harry went down to the common room where he found Hermione studying while Ron played exploding snap with Seamus. “Everything, all right? You missed every single one of today's lessons.” Hermione asked him worried. “Yeah, I felt sick today but I am fine now. Thanks.” Harry mumbled, then he asked: Have you see my wand? I can't find it.” “What's wrong with you? One could mistake you for Neville.” Ron shouted over his shoulder not paying interest in their conversation at all. “Ron, you senseless prick.” Hermione interrupted him. “I can cast an accio for you.” She offered more gentle to Harry. “Thanks.” Harry said relieved. However, Hermione's excellent spell work didn't bring his wand back which was to be expected since he had tried the same wandlessly a dozen of times. “What did you do yesterday? I didn't see you after the sorting.” Hermione queried then. “Err, I went to bed early.” Harry lied hoping Ron would be to focused on his game than to notice. “I see. Maybe you have to search where you have been yesterday.” Hermione suggested. “I feared so.” Harry smiled weakly and got up. He would look by the field he awoke this morning, maybe he was lucky. But of course he weren't. After he had searched til dawn he reentered frustrated the castle. He didn't really know what to do now. Maybe he should ask McGonagal but since he had missed her lesson in the morning he didn't dare to do that just now. He already debated returning to Gryffendor tower as it struck him: The astronomy tower. He had been there last evening. Eagerly Harry ran up the stairs. Maybe he would find his wand there. He carefully opened the door and slipped in. Nobody was here. He looked around. Disappointed he seated himself on the ground and looked at the starry sky. He had the feeling to he had been there once before. Desperate, he thought of his old lady. “Potter.” Harry nearly jumped. “Out after curfew once more, are we?” Harry looked at his professor alarmed. “I am sorry, I just-” But Snape interrupted him. “Fifty points from Gryffendor for being caught after curfew today and fifty more for the same yesterday.” Snape drawled. He really enjoyed seeing Potter's face darken. “Yesterday?” Harry asked astonished. “Yesterday.” Snape said impassively. “Don't tell me you don't remember.” He sneered. “But I don't.” Harry said defiantly. “Maybe the loss of another 100 housepoints will help your memory.” Snape threatened menacingly, his black eyes fixating Harry. “No, I am sorry, sir.” Harry said desperately. How could he possibly explain the loss of 200 points at one evening? Faintly he heard Snape mutter “legilimens” next to him before he did lose consciousness. Snape entered the boys mind easily. The boy didn't seemed to have any natural protection at all because instantly a whole bunch of scenes play right before Snape's eyes.

_The boy and an old woman in a kitchen. The boy and the woman at kings cross. The boy and the woman walking down a street._ _Two_ _Deatheaters surrounding them. The boy tr_ _ying_ _to protect the woman. One deatheater shoo_ _ting_ _a killing curse at her._ _The woman dying_ _. The boy throw_ _ing_ _himself at the deatheater._ _Someone_ _emerg_ _ing_ _the scene, shocking a deatheater, killing the other. The boys run_ _ning_ _away. The boy watching the burial of Ariana Dumbledore from a far,_ _spotting_ _Dumbledore and Severus. Later after the ceremony the boy kneeling at her grave, broken._ The scene made Severus feel ill. He had assumed Ariana had been a simple bystander in that tragedy. Who had thought the boy had cared for her this deeply. And what was even worse: It had been a direct attack on Harry and none of his many guardians had noticed. Ignoring the wave of guilt brushing over him he dived deeper. _The boy_ _alone at her house, the boy_ _at the tower, looking up to the stars._ _Then sudden nothingness._

Cursing Severus ended the connection and let himself sink next to the unconscious Harry on the floor. The boy took his time to move. “Starry sky tonight, isn't it?” Snape said smoothly. “Why did you use Occlumency on me?” Damn the boy was sharp. “You have no proof for anything I did.” Severus said deviant. How come you now about Occlumency?” He tried to divert the boy's thoughts. “I read about it.” The boy said while he seated himself next to Severus who stiffened automatically. He wasn't used to any sort of closeness. “I am sorry I didn't come sooner. Perhaps that old woman would be alive.” Severus said into the awkward silence. “You were the one who saved me?” Harry asked disbelievingly. “Yes, I knew Ariana as well. She was Dumbledore's sister.” Snape explained bitterly. “She was? But why was she living in the muggle world?” Harry asked confused. “There are times I mistake you for an intelligent human being.” Snape frowned. “She was a squib. That means she didn't posses any magical power and therefore didn't fit in our world, you imbecile.” He explained closing his eyes shut. The sickness almost consumed him. “Oh. Do you now if Dumbledore told her to befriend me?” Harry wanted to know. “Why would he do that? Nevertheless, I doubt anyone knew you were close. I myself didn't even now you lived in her neighborhood.” Snape replied. “So it was all a huge coincidence?” Harry asked doubting. “Yes, fate turns odd ways sometimes.” Snape stated, mentally noting to interrogate Dumbledore about this matter. “Thanks for saving me.” Harry said into the outstretching silence, his green eyes sparkling in the dark. “You are welcome.” Snape grunted.  
“Professor, this may seem strange to you, but have you any idea where my wand is?” Harry asked then suddenly remembering why he had gone to the tower in the first place. “As a matter of fact I have. I confiscated it last night.” Snape sneered. “What? Why? What have I done?” Harry questioned surprised. “Actually it lay on the ground right here.” Snape made a vague gesture. “Really? How did that happen?” Harry asked the older man. “I have a fair idea how this happened.” Snape thought but he said. “We will talk about this tomorrow in detention. 8Pm, don't be late, Potter.” Snape stood up. “I suggest you go back straight to your dorm now.” His voice was sharp. Harry stared at his professor. Then left without another word.

* * *

8pm, after a horrible day because Harry had to explain every teacher anew that professor Snape had his wand what led to other embarrassing questions he couldn't really answer. Just as bad, Ron constantly laughed at him which was fine first but grew really annoying at times. These days Harry could understand a little why Snape avoided to socialize. Harry still hadn't told his friends about his old lady's death and he couldn't figure out a way that wouldn't make him feel any worse than he already did. Sighing he knocked on Snape's office door. Just how often had he done that and every time it send chills down his spine. “You may come in.” The sonorous voice of Snape called. Harry opened the door. “Sit.” Snape ordered curtly. Harry did as he was told, carefully not meeting the other mans eyes. “Potter, look at me. We need to have a serious conversation.” Harry forced himself to meet his professors eyes. “Would you mind giving me my wand back, sir?” He requested politely. “Not so fast.” Snape growled. “I don't like having serious conversations with you.” Harry demonstrated lamely remembering his second year. “Neither do I but I think you have a lot of explaining to do.”  
Snape watched the boy's expression going blank. “What do you wanna know?” Harry asked through clenched teeth. Yeah, where to begin. There were so many suspicious things gathered around the brat Snape needed to moment to set his priorities straight. “Have you slept the last night?” Snape who had gone around his desk towered above Harry. The child looked awfully tired to him but nodded stupidly. “Don't lie to me, Potter. I can sense when you are lying. There is no deceiving me.” Snape grabbed Harry's collar tight. “I didn't lie.” The boy argued defiantly. “If you need dreamless sleep potion just tell me.” The potionmaster sighed and let go. He needed to calm himself. Hopefully his little threat would suffice to make the brat talk. “Since when are you an animagus?” Snape pursuit his lips. “How do you know?” Harry uttered. “You turned yourself into a flapping bird.” Snape explained causing Harry to pale. “And let's say I don't like to be overheard.” The potionmaster added sourly. Harry gaped at him. “I am sorry. I just happened to be there and you said yourself Dumbledore should provide me more information.” Snape's bottom lip twitched. “This doesn't matter, Potter. Anyway, how did you learn about this advanced spell?” The professor asked further. “Duh, actually I woke up one morning and found myself turned into a bird. Much later I found out about the charm.” Harry muttered. Snape stared at Harry intently. This explanation sounded just as unbelievable as stupid. A classic Potter. “I see. Do you have any idea why you can't remember your transformation? Did it happen at other times, too?” Snape queried while he still pierced Harry with his stare. “Well, I don't believe so. At least I haven't experienced another memory loss.” Harry stated while he thought about the last week which seemed to him quite unreal. “What's about your strong magical power? Did it change or increase about the holidays?” Snape interrogated further. “Err, I don't think so. Everything is the same. I guess. Can I have my wand back now, please?” The daring brat questioned again which pissed Snape off even more. “Impatience, Potter, especially regarding this matter won't bring us far.” Snape said assertively. “When did you first transformation happen?” The boy's look crossed his and he was sure he saw tears in his eyes. “When she died.” Harry's voice was a mere whisper. Snape gave him a long look. “I guess you are emotionally unbalanced which causes your power to havoc. Resume your training, eat properly and no nightly trips anymore. Is that clear?” He ordered then. Harry simply nodded. “Can I go now?” He started anew and stood up from his chair. “Not until I am finished with you.” Snape drawled annoyed while he took a menacing step towards the boy. “Dumbledore wants me to inspect the chamber to prevent any potential danger. I'll meet you tomorrow evening at the girl's bathroom.” Snape handed Harry his wand and went to back to his desk. So Harry was finally dismissed.

 


	19. Chamber of secrets

The next day passed away without any further incident and at dinner Harry was tempted to just ditch Snape's request so he could study instead but Hermione told him to go.  
When Harry arrived at the girl's bathroom he still wondered why he had actually come. This wouldn't be pleasant and he wasn't eager to spent more time with Snape than necessary. “Good evening, professor Snape.” He said politely while he thought this be better over fast. His professor simply nodded at him. Then turned his view back to the sink where the entrance was hidden which proofed once more that despite his obvious cynicism Snape was damn sharp and intelligent because he without being a parselmouth he was on the right track. Harry stepped next to his professor and looked down at the sink. Only he was able to open it because he was a parselmouth. And the chamber had indeed been closed since ancient times. Til Harry had opened it. At least this was the official statement of the headmaster but everyone genuinely overlooked the fact that Ginny had been captured inside and so the incident had been long forgotten by students and teachers. “What are you waiting for, open it.” The older man snarled. “Alright.” Harry sighed and let his hands ran over the little carved Snake which could easily be overlooked. Then he hissed. “Open yourself.” He could sense Snape stiffen next to him. “What's wrong?” He asked his professor before he could stop himself. Snape shot him an annoyed glare. The sink disappeared in the ground revealing a dark stairway. “What exactly did happen in the chamber of secrets last year?” Snape's voice sounded as if he was barely interested but Harry could feel the man's burning gaze piercing him. “I told Dumbledore everything I remembered when he asked me.” Well, this wasn't a lie at least. Snape lit his wand and moved forward. “Follow me.” Harry tagged along until they reached the giant door of the chamber. Snape gave it a searching look. “Tell me what you know _now._ ” Crap, Snape had seen through him. “It's your choice whether you tell me deliberately or I make you tell me.” The potionmaster said menacingly. Harry flinched. “Er, alright. I didn't go to save Ginny in the first place.” He managed. “It was more like I heard someone speak in parseltongue and followed that voice. Then I stumbled upon the entrance and accidentally opened it.” Harry shot Snape an unsure glance. “Go on.” The professor demanded. “Well, I went inside without even realizing where I was. Then I found Ginny in a hideous condition. She was terribly injured. I think I healed before I- Well, from there on everything is quite dizzy.” Harry hoped the potionmaster was satisfied. “Why got everything _dizzy_?” Snape asked smugly. Harry groaned desperately. “I don't remember.” Instantly Snape was only inches away from him. “Potter, this is my last warning. If you lie to me once more I make you truly regret it.” His professor hissed. Harry bit his bottom lip. Snape wouldn't pardon him until he knew the full truth. So what was the point of hiding the truth. “Voldemort appeared. He had been alive. I don't know how or why but when I arrived I didn't even recognized him at first. He called a giant snake which attacked me. But I managed to kill it somehow.” Harry said embarrassed. “He attacked you with a snake?” Snape sneered. “Don't laugh at me. It was really huge.” Harry muttered as he stepped forward to demand entrance in parseltongue once more. The giant door swung open and he and Snape went inside. There was a murderous sting in the air and Harry had to do his best not to throw up immediately. The stinging odor came from a large snake body which lay on the floor. “Can we please leave fast?” Harry asked his professor but Snape didn't pay attention to him because he slowly surrounded the snake giving it an examining look. “He finally stopped at its giant head. “So this the snake you killed?” He asked impassively. Harry nodded. “Do you know what species it is?” Snape questioned rhetorically because he knew the brat wouldn't. “Your snake is called Basilisk. It is an ancient crossbreed between a snake and a chicken. It is probably as old as Hogwarts itself.” Harry who had the feeling Snape was accusing him of something swiftly said. “I am sorry. I didn't want to kill it. Please don't punish me.” Snape shot him a bewildered look. “Quit the nonsense, Potter.” He replied dryly. “How did you manage to survive such an attack almost unharmed?” Harry shrugged his shoulders. “It only bit me a little.” Harry lifted his shirt revealing two pointed marks in half an inch distance. Those scars... “So you have been bit?” Snape asked alarmed. “Yeah but I was lucky. I wasn't hurt so bad.” Harry smiled while Snape might have throttled him. Now he knew what the unknown poison in the boys blood had been back then. “Did you know that a basilisk is one of the most dangerous of the known magical creatures? It's venom leads to an instant death and it has the ability to turn someone in to stone just by looking at them?” The potionmaster explained. “I guess this was the purpose of Voldmort to have me attacked by it. Fortunately, it didn't work. Maybe the thing was ill or too old.” Harry guessed vaguely which earned him a grim look of his professor. “Someone surviving the look and even a bite of a basilisk. That is truly unheard of.” Snape said slightly impressed. “Well, I survived the killing curse, too, you know?” Harry said sarcastically. Snape was for the first time in his life so astounded he let the boys insolence slip. “Maybe I am immortal.” Harry suspected. “May I remind you that you lay as good as dead in the hospital wig for one week after your little adventure.” ” The potionmaster snapped. That did silence the boy immediately. “You might leave now.” Snape announced then. Harry practically fled from the chamber. At his dorm he needed five showers and a parfum charm to cover the sting that didn't want to leave him for the next week. Damn, Snape. He probably had an antidote.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are again.   
> Unfortunately, I have another plothole right here.   
> There should be two chapters in which Lupin befriends Harry and Snape is jealous. Or something like that.   
> But in the end Harry has still to return to the Dursleys, because of whatever reason.  
> This is where the next chapter will start.  
> Hope you enjoy.   
> xoxo dreamingboy


	20. Hero

With every week closer to the holidays Harry's mood fell. Now there wasn't anyone left he could go to when he was forced to live with his relatives. With the prospect of living with them again he began to question why he kept his past with them a secret. Not that he had any intention to do so in the first place but things had happened and now it was to late. People relied on him, the famous and privileged quidditch star who would kill Voldemort one day. So he couldn't tell anybody about this, not when they were all looking away, only too see the shining hero.  
Nevertheless his determination did waver. He literally begged Dumbledore not to send him back but the headmaster who hadn't the slightest suspicion denied his wish vehemently. He prodded that now due to the recent incidents the world wasn't a safe place anymore.

His friends also weren't an option since their protection of their places wasn't considered to be strong enough. Even Lupin whom Harry pleaded again and again thought it best for Harry if he'd return to the Dursleys because he himself needed to meet up with Sirius to work for the order. The order of phoenix was a wizarding secret organization whose leader was Dumbledore. Now since Voldemort was in the verge of coming back they had obviously a whole bunch of urgent problems which didn't permit any teenager around even if spoken teenager was the boy who lived. Harry became so desperate at times he even thought about asking Snape. Not because he liked the man at all but the professor was the only one who could possibly guess Harry's true relationship to his relatives. But his pride prevented him to participate in any of those actions. So he would took the hit for the team. At least this was what he told to himself repeatedly as he stood at Privet Drive after a long train ride. Immediately he had to suppress the urge to vomit just by looking at those perfect build streets. Memories of his fair old lady flashed up as he walked past her house. Since she had lived several streets away it was late evening when he finally arrived at his uncle's house. Against his hopes his relatives were even at home. With the deep conviction that his luck had forsaken him Harry rang the door bell. It took some moments but then his fat uncle opened the door. Instantly his face went from cheerful pink to ash white and then to a fire red. “What are you doing here? I thought you ran of with the pack of yours forever or did they throw you out?” He puffed. Harry just shrugged his shoulders although he knew his uncle was kind of true. “And now you expect me- after you have left us, after all we did for you- to take you in once more?” His uncles face became even more red. “Yes, uncle Vernon. This would be awfully nice of you.” Harry said through clenched teeth. In this moment Harry's aunt came down the stairs and let out a surprised shriek. “Vernon, what in god's name is happening? Don't tell me he is back?” Harry sighed deeply. “Hi, aunt Petunia. Nice to see you again.” But his aunt ignored him. “What does he want?” She asked his husband furiously. “Obviously they kicked him out and now he crawls back to us.” Harry forced himself to keep his smile. “If I could just stay for a month. It would be totally fine.” “A whole month?” His aunt huffed scandalized. “I can work.” Harry offered quickly. That seemed to sooth his them both. “Of course, you will. But what will the neighbors think?” Harry let out another sigh. “I don't care what they think.” He thought while he watched the brains of his relatives work. “Fine.” Vernon grumbled finally. “You now where you can sleep.” He stepped away to give the door free. Harry went into house with the feeling he had made himself prisoner the very second. “Give me your stuff. I tolerate any of this freakishness in my house.” Harry handed him his trunk glad that he had put his wand in the waistband of his jeans beforehand and that he had left Hedwig and any of his valuable stuff like the halfblood prince's book or the invisibility cloak at Hogwarts.

* * *

 

Soon Harry had the impression like he had never been away. He lived in the cupboard again, his relatives made him do all the chores and serve Dudley who certainly weight a ton now. The only proof of wizarding world's existence was his wand which he kept safely hidden at all times. Although the work was hard, the food rare and the cupboard little Harry was kind of optimistic he would survive the holidays more or less unharmed.  
That means until the day when he received post for the first time. Actually, he had told all his friends not to write him over the summer out of fear how his relatives would react to owl post. The very day Harry happened to be in the kitchen to cook his relative's breakfast when suddenly a big owl flew straight through the window leaving it shattered and landed right in front of Harry who watched it panicking. This must be his test results. Crap, he hadn't thought about that. Because of the owl his aunt shrieked in terror and his obese cousin knocked down the whole table in the attempt to get away from it. It was a chaos Harry would under normal circumstances have belittled as funny but now after a quick glance to his uncle who had already risen to his full height made him regret his return instantly. “BOOY!” The obese man roared and grabbed Harry at his arm. “You will pay for this!” And the first hit struck Harry before he even realized what was going on. His uncle had punched him into his stomach causing Harry to fall onto his knees. “I will punch the freakishness out of you. Once and for all!” Another blow hit Harry's face. Desperately, he tried to shield himself. He took blow after blow. His head felt like it was going to burst any minute and he smelled blood. But his uncle still went on. In one moment of clear thoughts Harry almost succeeded to draw his wand but another row of punches prevented any other movement of his. With his last will Harry screamed for help, for someone who'd make his uncle stop before the dangerous dark which lurked at the corner of his vision would consume him for good. He never knew what happened to the poor owl...

* * *

A foreboding feeling caused Snape to wake up. Something was off. That he could tell for sure. But he needed some seconds to remember what this particularly feeling was. And then it hit him. The ring. Harry was in danger. Without a second thought he took his wand, changed his clothes and apparated to Privet Drive. He didn't know where the boy lived exactly but Dumbledore had told him how guilty he felt about sending Harry back there since the boy obviously didn't want to. In the end Dumbledore had insisted because he thought it the safest option with the increasing amount of deatheaters around. Therefore Snape was alarmed all the more. The ring was supposed to contact him only in life endangering situations. The professor stormed down the perfect build streets. Where did the dimwit, Potter, live his idly life? Snape looked around but he couldn't see anything strange. He should have told Albus about the ring and everything long ago and maybe should have asked about the exact address. But now it was to late. He didn't have time for this now. Without slowing down Snape scanned his surroundings for the ring's magic. Gotcha! His senses guided him to a nearby field.

Snape could see from far away a group of lower rank deatheaters gathered around a lifeless, bloodshed body. One of them just picked the body up which obviously belonged to Potter to show him to the rest as if he was a trophy. The thought of what those underlings might do to the helpless boy made Snape's blood boil. Instantly he drew his wand and threw a killing course at the deatheater who held Harry. The man fell lifeless to the ground while the boy landed onto his feet although he seemed quite shaky. Fast Snape pushed him behind in order to shield him from the hexes the remaining deatheaters were firing at them now. “Snape.” The boy whispered almost inaudible and a little smile placed on his lips. “Stay behind, Potter.” The professor barked while unarmored one of the remaining but Harry kept stubborn at his side, the wand held tight in his trembling hands. Miraculously he managed to cast a stupify which caused one deatheater to crash against a nearby rock. The man shot out a painful scream before he sacked down unconscious. The remaining deatheaters seemed to be more skilled fighters than the others. Moreover Snape noticed Harry could barely stand at all and was loosing blood from various injuries. “Potter. Go back. You are in no condition to fight.” Severus shouted once more while he tried to figure out he could prevent those deatheaters from apparating but instead of retreating Harry threw himself in front of his professor to cover a hex the man hadn't seen coming. Harry was hit straight in the chest and tumbled to the ground consciousness. His years of experience only prevented Snape from loosing his cool. With two skilled hexes he had struck next attacker down. Then he grabbed the lifeless body in front of him and disapparated. “Please, don't give up, Harry” was all he could think about.

 


	21. Knight in black armor

As Harry awoke he smelled the clean scent of disinfectant. Eyes closed, he took a few more moments to gather his thoughts. Where was he? What had happened? Did he just dream about Snape? Why did his body feel like a wreck? A rustling noise made him open his eyes and he blinked confused into the cold light of a lamp above him. He obviously was in the hospital wig. Next to him, he spotted to two black orbs which eyed him worried. “Thank god, your are awake.” He heard a silky voice mutter. “Can you sit up?” Those eyes disappeared from his view. Unwillingly Harry moved. Every inch felt like thousand needles. Due to the pain his breath fastened but nevertheless he sat up. “Professor Snape?” He croaked. His voice sounded as dry as his mouth was. Wordlessly, the potionmaster handed him a glass of water. Harry downed it in one gulp. “Thank you for rescuing me again.” He turned his view back to the man whose worried expression changed into a faint sneer. “I am glad to be of service for our beloved chosen one.” Harry chose to say nothing because he faintly remembered now what Snape had done for him. “How do you feel?” The professor asked into the awkward silence. “Better. I guess.” Harry shrugged. “Your injuries need to be treated.” Snape explained as he pulled the blanked away. “Stop it!” Harry demonstrated as soon as he realized he was completely naked. “There is no need to be shy anymore.” The potionmaster said dryly. “Where is Madam Pomfrey?” Harry demanded a foreboding feeling in his chest. “She hasn't returned yet.” Harry took a minute to let the information sink in then he asked in a mixture of disbelieve and shame. “You haven't seen me naked, have you?”  
“I am thorough.” The cutting reply came. At the horrified look of Harry the potionmaster added sourly. “You should be glad I didn't leave you there in the first place.” This silenced Harry for several moments in which he rethought Snape's actions. The potionmaster watched his expression change from disgust to some kind of fondness. This was clearly a strange reaction to the prospect that his most hated professor had seen him naked. “Thank you for healing me.” Harry said with an astounding sincerity then while the professor put some lube at the burned flash of his chest. Harry was really nicely build for his age. His shoulder had already squared out although he was a little thin. “How did this happen?” Harry asked into the awkward silence. “You took a hit because you're enormous self confidence prevented you from listening to my orders.” The Gryffendor glared at his teacher. “That is not how I remember it.”  
“Then you might have injured your head as well or you are just oblivious to the fact that three deatheaters escaped who have- most likely- exposed my true alliances by now just because our little hero pulled some stunt which almost cost his life.” Harry glanced furiously at Snape unable to say anything. “Then why did you help me in the first place? He uttered. Snape who just treated a great bruise on his back stilled. “Because Dumbledore ordered me to.” He lied. Suddenly the boy's expression changed to the look of a hurt animal. “So he knew what was going on?” He whispered. “What are you talking about?” The potionmaster snarled. “Nothing.” Harry spat, his expression going blank. What was that? Snape was once more impressed how the brat managed to hide his emotions so well. He didn't know anyone but himself who possessed such an ability. But he wouldn't be Snape if he wouldn't do everything to see this facade crumble. “Potter, I was wondering, given the age of this bruises, how long the deatheaters played with you or if anything else happened.” Harry shook his head defiantly. Snape implied a little pressure on Harry's back causing the boy to inhale sharply. “Potter, do you know what a life debt is?” The potionmaster reminded Harry in his velvet voice about the debt which had formed between them and would force Harry magically to do anything on demand. Harry who knew this as well let out a deep sigh of defeat. “Fine, if you wanna now that badly... My relatives beat the crap out of me and threw me out” He said almost inaudible. Snape quirked an eyebrow at him “Why did they do that?” He asked softly. “They think I am a freak. All they ever wanted to get rid off me and when I showed up at them after three years things got a little out of control.” Snape tried to hide his surprise. “You weren't home for three years, Potter?” He queried. “I don't have a home.” Harry replied. Snape found the whole story sounded most disturbing. Now that he was finished the treatment of Harry's wounds he seated himself next to Harry on his bed. “Please, tell me everything. From the very beginning.” He said fixing Harry with his black eyes. “If you promise me you won't tell anybody or take action without my consent.” The green eyes watched him pleadingly. “I will.” Snape vowed and then Harry told him everything.

An hour later Snape's about the image of the spoiled brat was shattered. Obviously the boy had been starved, beaten and abused on several occasions without a single soul in the world knowing. Deep inside himself Snape could- now that his loath had somehow ceased- find sympathy for the boy who could easily resemble his own. At last Harry demanded to know if Dumbledore had been informed about his condition. But all Snape could tell him was that even the mighty headmaster missed something occasionally. This made Harry feel alone all the more but rose the question how Snape had found him. The man thought it a fine opportunity to reveal the truth: “The ring has a tracking charm on him so which activates if the wearer is in danger.” Harry looked at him disbelievingly. “Why didn't you tell me?”

“Would you have still worn the ring if you did?” Harry said nothing while he looked awed at his knight in black armor.  


	22. The Triwizard Tournament

The last days before the new term started Harry spent in the company of Snape in the hospital wig. He really tried to get along with the man and his usual nasty and crude behavior. The young Gryffendor was glad there was someone who cared for him once.  
But this ended abrupt as the other students arrived at Hogwarts. Snape knew well to hide his kind side so that Harry almost believed he had imagined it.

At the welcoming dinner which took as always places in the great hall Harry sat between his friends. It felt soothing to be with them in their kind of normality after the horrid events of summer. Nonetheless he had to force himself to listen to their stories because his head was spinning. Took the sorting longer with every year? Finally Dumbledore raised his voice. “Welcome back it Hogwarts everyone and welcome to our first years.” He beamed at the teachers and students. “This year we have a bright event ahead of us. I have the honor to announce the triwizard tournament is about to take place at our school.” He waited til the upcoming uproar had tuned down again. “As you probably all know the triwizarding tournament is an ancient competition between schools to determine the most powerful wizard. There will be three different tasks for our three chosen participants to clear. Who will participate we will determine later on. Now it is time for me to introduce our guest for this year because what was this game without any admirable rivals? Please welcome with me the strong Durmstrang and the fabulous BeauBatons.” Dumbledore waved his arms and the door of the great hall swung open.  
Suddenly everyone tried to seize a look of the new group of students which were greeted by a dozens of O's and A's. They assembled at the front where the first years used to stay. “Welcome our dear friends.” Dumbledore announced and nodded towards the two teachers at the end of the crowd. “Please join our ranks so we can celebrate the upcoming year.” The students greeted their guests with roaring cheers.   
As every foreign students had found a place at one of the housetables and the teachers had taken their seats next to Dumbledore the feast began. The usual tons of foot appeared on the tables to everyone's delight but not to Harry's. He still felt nauseous but debated excusing himself now would be pretty impolite because a guy named Victor Krumm had just begun talking with them, well Hermione while Ron couldn't stop staring at him. “What's wrong?” Harry asked him. “Do you know who this is?” Ron asked back obviously irritated. “No, why?” Harry replied. “This is Victor Krumm, Bulgarians Seeker Number one.” Ron said amazed. “You are kidding me, are you?” Harry asked impressed. “No. He is. He just told, Hermione.” Ron said amazed. “Then what are you waiting for?” Harry said and smiled at Hermione who got the hint immediately and introduced Ron and him. They talked about rather lot. Hermione was interested in what school was like in Bulgaria and Ron was interested in Quidditch and Harry well - He was left to his thoughts and was satisfied to pretend he was listening. Absently he let his gaze wonder around the great hall. The most students were already bonding as it seemed and Hagrid was talking to the teacher of Beau Baton who was just as tall as he was. Thus a perfect match. Then Harry's gaze kept at Snape who shot him a sinister glare. So nothing had changed there. Too bad. Harry looked to the Slytherin desk. Malfoy smirked at him Harry smiled back. So their secret arrangement still applied, how fortunate.  
It was rather late when Dumbledore interrupted the lively chattering once more. “Although it is getting late but I have a few, last announcements to make. First, our guests will be joining us in class hence tomorrow, so please show yourself of your best kind. Second, the selection of the participants. The tradition require to prevent any attempts of tampering the use of the goblet of fire.” Dumbledore swung his wand and revealed a mysterious looking statue in which burned in blue fire. The mass made astonished noises. Dumbledore waited til the entire hall was silent again. Then he continued. “From today on you have one week to confirm your participation. Therefore you write a paper with your name on it and throw it in the goblet of fire. Be aware a magic contract is formed the moment your paper vanishes. This contract binds you to participate in the tournament, so if you are chosen you have oblige the rules or you will die. If you need help or want further instructions Madam Hooch will gladly help you. Please do not perform in any risky or lightheaded decisions. In this sense, consider yourself as informed. We will meet next Sunday to determine our three champions. I wish you all empty heads to fill with knowledge and excellent entertainment for this school year.” Under lots of applause Dumbledore dismissed the students to their dorms. Harry dragged himself in the company of his friends to his dorm. His mood had reached a knew level of desperation. He couldn't shake of the feeling of loneliness. Nevertheless he gave it his best to keep up his mask of the cheerful quidditch boy. This was the person everyone wanted him to be. Even Snape.  


	23. Revelations

The first lesson was potions this year. Harry took this as a bad sign although nothing occured. Obviously Snape didn't trust the exchange students in his class -a group of five Beau Baton girls and five Durmstrang boys. With them was Krumm as well who instantly started flirting with Hermione what apparently pissed off Snape and surprisingly Ron who had never been the same opinion with the greasy git once before. Generally, their professor seemed to be in a bad mood what was all the more reason for Harry to pretend to be invisible. As one of the BeauBaton girls who obviously didn't know she was talking to the greasiest git in the whole school dared to ask if he could tell them some information about the triwizard tournament Snape simply lost it. “You foolish girl.” He thundered. “In this class only potions matter and will be therefore discussed. I couldn't care less about such child plays those wand waving willows waste their time with.” The students broke out in outrageous mutters. “Silence.” Snape roared. The girl looked more than disturbed but said nothing. Harry exchanged an amused look with his best friend who turned around to sooth her silently by explaining the perks of Snape.  
After the lesson was over the trio headed together with the exchange students to the great hall where a huge crowed of students was assembled. Many students put already their names into the goblet of fire under the cheering noises of their fellows.  
Like this, the first week passed away quickly. The three best friends became friends with Victor and were therefore often accompanied by him. Everyone of them wanted to participate badly and they spent a great deal of time discussing battling strategies and what tasks they had to overcome once they were chosen. The only one who wasn't interested in such was Harry who felt still pretty depressed about the events of summer. Therefore he didn't put his name in. Why would he? He had failed to survive on his own twice so why put his life at risk once more?

The drawing of the participants was surprisingly uninteresting. The chosen ones were: Cederic from Hufflepuff, Victor from Durmstrang and Fleur from Beu Baton. If Harry made a wager at Fred and George's illegal market he would have won a fortune. But then a dramatic turn of events happened beginning with the goblet of fire giving out another paper. Suddenly a fearful silence filled the room. This was a scandal unheard of, the goblet of fire choosing not three but four participants. Everyone stared at Harry when got up like in trance from his place next to Hermione and ushered across the room to the front where the other candidates stood. For an eternal second nobody said a word. Then the loudest uproar Hogwarts had ever experience broke out. The participants where ushered into the next room followed by the headmaster and the teachers of the guest school's. Harry watched the whole scene through the blur of a heinous nightmare. The discussion between the teachers went on and on while the other candidates threw curious looks at Harry who felt down right fear for the first time in his life. He hadn't put his name in the goblet. So how could he have been chosen? Finally the professor reached an agreement and Harry was sent off to Gryffendor tower.  
On his way he had to hold his hand tightly around his wand because otherwise they would have shaken terribly. He was a mess. He didn't know what was going on and nobody had bothered to tell him. A wave of nausea made him stop at the next window of the small corridor to fetch some fresh air. He looked at the grounds of Hogwarts which stretched peacefully ahead of him. Slowly he calmed down. Only to jump scared as he heard the voice of Snape thunder: “DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME INTO THE GOBLET OF FIRE?” Harry turned around frightened about the harsh tone. “I WARN YOU, POTTER, I WILL ONLY ASK ONE LAST TIME. DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT?”  
“I-I didn't. Really. I am not lying.” Harry stuttered failing to put on his usual cocky attitude. “Why are you reacting this way? I guess everyone out of the whole school put his or her name in.” Harry muttered intimidated. He was truly a nervous wreck by now but that didn't stop Snape, of course. “But they are not the golden boy whose head is right on top of Voldemort's to kill list, plus they don't posses the strongest raw power known in a millennium AND I didn't saved their ass two times now.” Harry didn't know what to say. Suddenly a warm feeling flared in his chest. Did Snape care for him? “Proof it to me, Potter, or I'll rib your head of here and now.” Snape growled. “How? Do you want to use legimens on me again?” Harry shouted frustrated. “Not if you are willing to drink this.” Snape fetched a little falcon out of his robes. Harry stared at him wide eyed. “I know what you are planning. You want to drug me with veritasserum.” “Quite, Mr. Potter.” Snape said smugly. “No I won't drink this. You can't make me or I'll tell Dumbledore.” Harry stumbled backwards. “I don't believe the headmaster would mind. He is, too, extremely upset with this whole business.” Snape pointed out. “But since I am not quite the monster you think I am I make you an offer. We both take the potion and you will get your chance to ask me anything you wish.” Harry shot him an unbelieving glare. “Fine.” He said then. Snape handed him the veritasserum. “One sip will suffice.” Harry took a little nip and handed it back then Snape downed the rest. Then a nasty half smile appeared on his lips because he had reached what he wanted: “Foolish Gryffenor. How would you know I hadn't an antidote in my blood already.” Snape grinned. “Oh I didn't think about that. Have you?” Harry looked at his professor estimating. “No I haven't.” Snape said softly. “Funny, but you know I can't tell if you are or aren't lying now.” Harry frowned. “Foolishness always gets sentenced.” Snape sneered. “And now answer me. Did you put your name in the goblet of fire?” Snape hissed menacingly. “No I didn't. Satisfied?” Harry replied annoyed. “No I am not. Because now we have to worry who inside this walls has the power and the intent to fool the goblet of fire.” Snape explained. “You don't think Voldemort is behind this do you?” Harry asked concerned. “I am afraid he is but I have no proof either. Nevertheless I want you to be careful.” “Because you care for me?” Harry asked peevishly slowly regaining his usual style. “Potter, this is hardly the matter now.” Snape barked. “But yes, I do.”  
“So you don't loath me anymore?” Harry asked further. “I might start again.” Snape informed him grimly. Harry beamed at him. “Question time for me now. What I wanted to ask you forever is: Why were you so interested in my ring in my second year?” Harry held demonstratively his hand up. That was what the boy cared about? Really? Even though he had been a quivering mass only seconds ago he dared to approach that topic now? “Actually it was mine before I gave it to your father.” Snape said smugly. Oh yes, that topic he would enjoy a great deal. Harry looked at him in surprise. “Excuse me?”  
“It was an engagement ring.” Snape drawled. “And why did you gave him an engagement ring?”  
“Because he was the best man-whore to fuck around and I wanted him for myself.” Snape said self sufficiently. “My dad married my mum. He would never care about scum like you.” Harry retorted vehemently. “50 points for language, Potter.”  
“Tell me if you are lying, you sick perverted bastard.” Harry cried backing away. “Stay.” Snape ordered instantly. “Everyone has a bit of past which is better not revealed.” He purred. The boy stopped and looked at him defiantly. “Then why would you tell me this?” He asked his voice cracking. “I knew it would piss you off.” Harry suppressed desperately the urge to hit the man. “How could Snape do this to him? “I am going to leave. Good night. Professor.” Harry announced as he tried to left with his last grace he could muster while he felt like his heart being ripped out of his chest. “Good night, Mr. Potter. Snape replied coolly. As he was sure the potionmaster wasn't in hearing range anymore he broke out in sobs. There wasn't an antidote for veritasserum. Snape wasn't lying. But why did it hurt so much to learn about Snape's past with his father? Eventually Harry went back to his dorm as everybody was already sleeping. He envied them because he wouldn't sleep this night due to thousands of questions swirling in his mind. His Dad and Snape together? But his Dad had married his Mum so Snape had to be lying but it wasn't possible. He looked at the shiny black ring. Was it really Snape's before he gave it to his father? Suddenly Harry felt quite nauseous and wanted to throw this ring away to get himself rid of this nightmare. Silently, he went across the room to the slightly open window and looked down in the dark night. He needed to let go of the ring. He stilled. Did he really want to do this? Did this ring mean Snape had loved his dad? Did this mean the old greasy git was able to love? The very night he had found the mirror of dreams came into his mind. The mirror shew him Snape but why? Snape did always affect Harry in a strange way since -now that he thought about it. What was it about the man that drew him closer every time he tried to escape? Maybe he should keep the ring as a promise to himself that one day Snape would love him like he probably had his dad. Harry smiled. Maybe he was naive but he already knew he wanted that man.

* * *

The following weeks Snape noticed Harry was still wearing the ring despite his efforts to set the boy off because he had become to attached to him. Probably, the young man would have found out about his fathers past anyway so why did he felt a little sting as he practically told him to sod off. All the more he was curious now to see Harry talking to his friends as if he hadn't a sorrow in the world, the ring on his hand. What did this mean? It was driving Snape mad. Just what was the boy thinking? Often he found himself looking at him while dinner and following his messy head through the corridors now. He couldn't help it. What was wrong with him? The students seemed to be the most intimidated of him since ever what he enjoyed genuinely but did only result out of the bad mood he had since his talk with Potter. Just what should he do? He would like to drug the boy once more. But he wasn't likely to take the bait and he couldn't have Dumbledore to intervene. Besides Potter wasn't to meet alone anymore lately because since he was a participant of the tournament his popularity had only increased. He even stopped wandering around at night what was a good sign to Snape but he couldn't help to loath it due to various reasons.

Meanwhile the boy managed to almost kill himself in the first two of three tasks the tournament provided him with. At least Snape could calm his stressed mind the boy did surprisingly well for the fact he was two years younger than the other participants.  


	24. Yule ball - Smut

Around Christmas Harry felt utterly nervous for the first time in his life. He had a decision to make. As a participant of the trimagic tournament he was supposed to do the first dance together with the other three. That confronted him with two unknown problems. Firstly, he had no one to go with and secondly he couldn’t dance.  
Harry decided to eliminate problem number one first and so he tried to hold a conversation with Hermione about who he should go with. To his surprise Hermione seemed not offended that he didn’t want to go with her. Harry had noticed her eying Viktor Krumm and sought them to be. Even if that meant upsetting Ron. Hermione suggested that he should ask Cho Chang, a smart Ravenclaw girl she was friends with. And so Harry did. He tried to pass her while being not surrounded with her many friends. But that seemed just impossible. Desperately he tried to talk to Hermione how to best approach her. But she seemed spaced out and only able to talk about Krumm. So Harry decided after a whole week of chasing her to take all his Gryffendor courage and simply ask her -in front of her friends.  
One brief break before potion lesson he walked casually over to her and took a deep breath. He had the utter feeling to mate a total fool out of himself as he asked her to go to the ball with him. But to his surprise she smiled brightly at him and said yes. Harry was so relieved he hugged her. Suddenly the world was ten shades brighter and Harry didn’t noticed anyone staring at him before he could feel a could tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see the strained face of his professor. “Class begins now, Potter.” The man growled. Harry nodded in agreement, not even potions could ruin his day because he had a date. And Snape really did his best to do so. He took points more often than even usual and was especially rude. But Harry didn’t noticed 'cause he had a date.   
A week later, he sat with his friends in the Gryffendor common room and listened to an excited Ron who told them he had just asked Fleur who told him to wait because she needed consideration time. Apparently Ron couldn’t sit quiet even after the exhausting quidditch practice which had tired Harry out. In the middle of their conversation Harry spaced out and tried to figure out how he should learn to dance. He asked all of his roommates for help but unfortunately nobody of them could dance either- which wasn't an unusual thing since they were just in fourth grade. So Harry took it he had to figure it out by himself.   
He planned to include dancing in his midnight training sessions which he held daily nowadays because the triwizard tournament was really tough and he didn't know if he had survived this long if he hadn't increased his efforts.  
So as Harry couldn’t sleep once more at night he slipped under his invisible cloak once more and made his to the room of requirements which provided him with all necessary material for his training. Today Harry got quite absorbed in his training because he did only physical exercises like dancing and complex defense spells. Because the latter was so interesting he overstayed his regular training time. As he finally made his way back it was past five in the morning and he felt energetic. He didn’t bother to wear his invisible cloak because at this time no one was usually around. The teacher's patrolling orders only applied til two in the morning. So Harry decided a bit carelessness suited him. He enjoyed wandering alone in silence around the corridors of his only home. He even tried some of his new dance moves. He felt great. He would go to the ball with a girl and dance. Sometimes life was good, even to him.  
This particular feeling went away fast as he saw Snape leaning against the wall in the end of the corridor, a faint smirk on his lips. Harry's dreamy expression fell as the professor asked in a voice like silk: “Potter, what are you doing here at this ungoldly hour?” Desperately Harry searched for an answer which wouldn’t cost him a dozen of house points. “I was sleepwalking.” He babbled helplessly. “Seemed more like dancing to me”. Snape sneered. Harry went crimson. “I’m sorry, sir, but i have to dance at the yule ball but i can't so i decided to learn it.” Harry uttered “And why do you think the corridors after curfew are an appropriate choice for such an activity?” Snape said in a sharp tone. “I don’t know, I’m sorry, sir. But no one could teach me.” Harry defended himself.  
“Is that so?” Snape quirked an eyebrow. “Maybe i should help you?”  
“Would you?” Harry asked surprised. As answer Snape took Harry's hand and began leading him to a slow, silent melody. Harry was so stunned that he didn’t even questioned Snape's behavior.  
They danced what felt like an eternity. It felt good. More than i have a date good. Unconsciously Harry leaned closer and he could hear Snape whisper something in his ear but he didn’t understand. The sensation of the man so close to him made him tremble.   
Snape shot Harry a piercing look before he let go of him. He had gone to far. The boy surely an explanation for his unusual behavior but he wasn’t ready to give one. He only knew he shouldn’t be dancing with Harry. It was innocent but also wrong. But the boy didn't say anything, he just looked back at him with his green eyes. Snape felt startled. He really shouldn't be doing this and so he backed away. Harry looked at him in pure astonishment before he sorted his expression out. Snape knew he had gone to far but couldn't think of a better way to undo this situation. The damage was done. “Go to bed, Potter.” He barked, then turned around to pursuit his actual destination, the potion laboratory. Harry gazed at Snape in awe before he left too. It already felt surreal like a dream to him.  
The sun just raised over the forbidden forest as Harry arrived at Gryffendor tower. In his dormitory his fellows still slept. Harry crept in his bed, relieved today was a Saturday. He slept late in the day and was woken for dinner by a rather chimed Ron who would go with a certain Fleur to the ball. Harry was delighted.  
A week later it was time for them to prepare for the ball which took place at Christmas Eve. Harry charmed some flowers to sparkle and glow in the dark. Quite sufficient with the outcome he noticed Ron staring at him jealously. “Maybe you should pay more attention in charms.” Harry commented as he hexed his friends red rose to smell like chocolate. Ron was amazed. Then they dressed themselves in their festive suits and made their way downstairs and waited for Hermione.  
Half an hour later Hermione entered the common room dressed in a beautiful blue dress. Harry saw his mates cheeks flushing red and wondered if he should also be sheepish. But he wasn't. Nevertheless he grinned widely at Hermione and stated: “You look smoking.” Thanks, you too.” She glanced at him and Ron who nodded stiffly.  
Ridiculed Harry made his way to the Ravenclaw tower, while Ron went to the tower where the Beauxbatons housed while they were visiting Hogwarts. Only Hermione waited for Krumm at the Gryffendor tower.

Nervously he entered the Ravenclaw tower to meet Cho who wore a dress in a faint red. She looked beautiful. Harry gave Cho the flowers and she seemed delighted. She put a red flower at Harrys suit and flushed. Harry was relieved she seemed to like his present. Quickly he spelled his tie which was green like his eyes into a red one to match the whole outfit. Cho laughed at him. Then he took her hand and lead her to the great hall which was decorated in red shades. Harry smiled at Cho. They took their seeds beside Fleur and Ron who had an argument about the chocolate smelling flower which decorated Fleurs hair now. Hermione and Victor showed up just as Dumbledore began holding his speech together with Madam Maxime. It was a superficial secret the headmaster of Durmstrang didn't appreciated the ball which he had announced at breakfast righteously. After the long and boring speech which Harry didn't even listen to because he was super nervous the first dance was due. Harry was leaded by Cho to the dance floor. Somehow, she seemed much more confident about such things than he was. As the music started, a slow waltz and the four pairs (Hermione and Krumm, Ron and Fleur, Cedric and Angelina Johnson and Harry and Cho) started whirling around in slow circles. By and by other pairs joined them and Harry grinned towards Neville and Ginny who danced like they were in trance. Harry was happy he didn't blow up the first dance like anticipated- Suddenly the whole world seemed ten shades brighter to him. But Cho didn't danced as good as Snape had and suddenly the events of that very night crashed down on Harry. He had danced with Snape and it had felt good. He couldn't tell if he liked it better than dancing with Cho but now he didn't felt that flushed and excited.

He looked over the crowed and spotted Snape who stood at the other end of the crowd but eyed him with his usual dark glare. Harry needed some time to realize the other man was watching him and he didn't know what to make of it.  
Some time later Cho and Harry joined Hermione and Krumm at the bar who were drinking butterbeer. Harry searched for Snape's gaze again but the man was gone. He felt confused. As the evening prevailed the mood became more and more agitated and Harry saw how Ron gave Fleur a little peck as he went to his brothers who had an argument with Percy about who of them had put alcohol in the bowl.”  
Instantly Harry wondered if he should kiss Cho, too. But he decided not to. What if he did something wrong?  
It became a quite nice evening and as Harry and Cho left as one of the last pairs she pulled him into a dark corridor. Cho seemed rather happy because she curled her arms around his shoulders. They stood this way for a little time until Harry felt it was the right moment to kiss her.  
But he just couldn't. Then he heard Snape who must have been passing by. “My, my Potter the romantic hero. May I inform you that such a behavior is not a public matter.” Harry noticed Cho's expression fell. Protective he stood between her and Snape determined to prevent her from further trouble. “Yes, you are right, sir.” He turned around to take Cho's hand in order to lead her away but she hushed past him and Snape, crying.  
A moment of silence followed. Then Harry said looking Snape righteous in the eye: “Thank you.” The older man nodded at Harry in confusion: “What for?”  
“I wouldn't prefer to kiss her.” Harry explained and turned to go while Snape's mind was bursting. Did the boy who lived just admit he was gay? He was tempted to ask. _But no Harry was far too innocent and Snape was far to honorable than to spoil him, was he?_

 


	25. Detention

“Detention, Potter.” This habitual sentence was the only thing Snape could think of as he heard words he didn't want to hear, he had secretly hoped for, he could have misinterpreted, he couldn't forget.. School had started again and with the new year Harry had also faced his second task which he thankfully managed to survive while leaving Snape worried sick who still didn't have a clue on the traitor who had tampered with the goblet of fire. Therefore he dished out more detentions to the golden boy now than ever. Just so he could watch Harry. Of course, the students and even teachers hated him for turning on their hero. Only Harry didn't seem to mind who deliberately took any abuse Snape confronted him with.  
A few days after the second task the boy stumbled bruised but otherwise fine into his office as he had for so many times already. But this time was different. Harry had noticed Snape behaved differently these days and he was curious why. “What are you looking at?” Snape asked not even raising his view from the papers he was grading. “Nothing, sir.” Harry said. “Just start rewriting the sentences you didn't finished last time.” Snape growled. Without any retort Harry began to write. Well, this was unusual. “Potter, aren't you complaining and whining how unfair you life is?” Snape snarled. Harry looked at him surprised. Then turned his head away from his professor to gather his thoughts. “I've grown used to you.” He said simply turning back to his paper. “What is that supposed to mean?” Snape hissed in his most menacing voice. “I mean I have spent probably more time with you than everybody else in this castle.” Harry said softly. “Is that so?” Snape raised an eyebrow. “Then why doesn't it bother you?” He asked in his nastiest voice. “Because if you spend so much time with someone you get to know them. Even if it's someone as private as you.” Harry said sheepishly. He pissed Snape off a great deal. “What do you know about me?” He spat. “You hate me but you love to punish me.” Snape glared down at him. “Ten points for insolence, Potter.” He hissed. “I don't care about the house points anymore. Nobody does, since Gryffendor is thanks to you at a minus. What is by the way a record. I looked it up. Congratulations.” Harry informed him sarcastically. Snape's lips curled into a sneer. “Oh I have to thank you, you played a mayor role.” He hissed. “Only because you always provoke me. Without you none of this would happened.” Harry nearly shouted. “Potter, control your voice or I will-” “Will what?” Harry asked frustrated. “Take another hundred worthless house points? Give me more detention? I don't care.” He shouted. “Level your voice, you foolish brat.” Snape spat towering above Harry. “Or what?” The boy asked. “You can't do anything to me.” He added defiantly. “You probably forgot to whom you are talking to.” Snape said in an icy voice. With one swift movement he grabbed Harry's arm and pulled the boy over his knee. “What are you doing, professor?” Harry asked in shock. “I am going to spank you, impertinent brat.” The man hissed. “But it's prohibited, I'll tell Dumbledore.” Harry tried to wriggle himself out of Snape's tight grip. “I don't care, Potter, and now be silent while I punish you for your misbehavior.” Snape said menacingly. “But-” Crack. A hard blow crashed on Harry's butt. Harry yelped in surprise. “I told to be silent.” Another blow. Harry cried out in pain and tried desperately to get free but Snape was merciless. “I am going to hit you ten times and I want you to count. Do you understand?” Snape's voice was suddenly close to Harry's ear. “Yes.” Harry rasped. Instantly a blow hit his but. “One.” Harry cried out, then another. “Two.” Harry whined as the pain spread through his body. Crack. “Three.” He yelped. Suddenly he felt a burning sensation rush through him. No, he wasn't going to get hard. Not now, he couldn't get hard in Snape's lab. Tears gathered in his eyes as Harry tried to subside his upcoming desire. Too late, another two blows hit him. They made it impossible for him to concentrate. Snape hit him once more and Harry cried out. His whole butt hurt by now. He tried to shifted slightly so Snape wouldn't notice his hardness but Snape pinned him down. “Don't forget to count or we will start allover.” Snape threatened while another crack made Harry shiver. “Seven.” Harry breathed. He was so hard by now Snape had certainly noticed and Harry could do nothing. Tears were blurring his sight as two more hits crashed his burning but. “eightnine.” Harry withered. He was so hard he just might come here on the spot. Crack. “Ten.” At last Harry couldn't hold back anymore, he buckled up and came like he never had before. He certainly would have fallen to the floor without Snape holding him tight till Harry had caught his breath. He stared at Snape in total shock while the older man purred in his ear: “Potter, I have learned about your dark desires, too. You need to be punished, you crave it. You just pretend to hate it because you are afraid everyone would turn against you if they knew the real you.” Snape's voice cut like steel trough him. “Let me go.” Harry's voice cracked. Snape gave his arms free. Harry struggled to stand on his shaky legs. He left without another word but he knew: Like always, Snape was right.


	26. Plea

A few weeks later the triwizard torment was over and to everyone’s surprise Cedric and Harry had won. This caused a downright uproar because it had never occurred that there were four participants in the tournament of whom two winners had to be awarded and one of those was youngest participant in history and also the boy who lived.  
The never ending distressing flood of press conferences and meetings prevented Harry to come to terms with his last detention with Snape. Moreover his professor spared him in class nowadays and Harry really tried his best to avoid any further encounter with the man. But there was one thing amiss. He needed Snape. The triwizard tournament had taught him how dangerous the world was and what little he knew. He needed someone to teach him, someone with real expertise who knew the light and the dark. He wanted Snape to teach him. But Harry estimated the likelihood the greasy git would do it after everything that happened was more than doubtful.  
Nevertheless one evening Harry went to Snape's office. He had to convince the man he was the only one who could do the job as if his life depended on it. Well, it did.

He took a few calming breaths before he knocked on the door. Soon after he heard the professors deep voice call: “You may come in.” To Harry's astonishment Snape seemed to have awaited him as he rushed in his office. “I need to talk to you, sir.” “Well, now, Potter, have a seat.” Harry sat on the stool while Snape leaned arms crossed onto his desk and stared down at the boy. “Tell me what you have to say, Potter.” Harry squared his shoulders and said in an even voice: “Professor Snape, please teach me defending myself.”  
Well, that was not what Snape had expected at all. Taken aback Snape looked at the boy. At least he had anticipated that. “Why do you want me to teach you?” He asked stiffly. “You are a deatheater and a spy. You have such abilities I need and want to learn. So please. I'll do anything you want.” Harry begged. As Snape said nothing he added slowly. “Besides Dumbledore probably wouldn’t have time for me and you can be a good teacher, you know?” Snape remained silent determining the right decision while he admired the boys face. He had missed Harry looking at him in such outright awe. “Alright.” The potionmaster gave in then. “I'll teach you but on my conditions.” Harry's gaze intensified in pure joy. Snape felt really pissed off by such an amount of gratitude and decided it would be best to let slip some hideous conditions which should fix this. “My conditions are”, he began, obviously enjoying every syllable, “Firstly, you must do whatever I command, Potter.” Harry nodded. “Secondly, I decide what you will learn and what not. Thirdly, you will not tell anyone about our arrangement. Is that clear?” The potionmaster hissed. “Yes, sir.” Still the boys expression didn't alter. He really pissed Snape off. Suddenly the young man asked. “Are you free this summer?” He would do everything it would take to never see his relatives again. Snape arched an eyebrow. “I just don't want something like last summer to replay itself.” Harry explained. As the older man still didn't answer Harry whispered growing nervous: “I need someone to protect me til I can protect myself.” Snape gazed at him stunned. Why did the cocky and famous golden boy showsuch humility? “I will talk about this with the headmaster and I will inform you about further arrangements regarding your lessons.” He named his decision curtly. Harry nodded in agreement. That had went better then anticipated. “You may go now.” Snape rose from his position to guide Harry to the door. “Ehm, thank you.” The boy said hiding an obvious smile. “I'll make you pay for it.” Snape muttered as he closed the door shut. Now he had to convince Albus why the boy needed private lessons and why he of all people needed to stay with him over the summer break. But he guessed it would not be that difficult. After all, the old coot hadn't ever been shy about asserting tasks to him. But he had do be careful after all. A dark desire was building up within him, one he could never give in to. 


	27. Grimauldplace

The last weeks of term turned out to be as stressful as always. Hermione urged Harry and Ron merciless to study. “It's for your own best” she always prodded. Strangely Harry didn't mind all the extra work because it averted his attention from his sorrows. Snape still hadn't answered to his plea and Harry was nowadays even afraid to encounter the man in the corridors or in the great hall. But of all things the potion lessons were worst because Snape was as picky as always and never let something slip. He seemed to enjoy humiliating Harry quite a lot but Harry didn't dare to talk back to his professor anymore which lead to curious questions of his friends which Harry tried to avoid mostly.  
After the last potion lesson before the exams which had been extraordinary awful, because Snape had spelled Harry's cauldron empty with no reason at all, Harry entered frustrated the boys dorm to get his broom and quidditch stuff. He was already half way through the door as he noticed a letter written in elegant letters on his bed.

“ _Mr. Potter, I am to inform you that I talked Professor Dumbledore and he bestowed the duty on me to take care of you during the summer break. S._ ”

Suddenly his anger faded away and Harry trembled with joy. He wouldn't have to go back to the Dursleys. He was so glad he hugged the clueless Neville who walked in just the second. Leaving a confused Neville behind Harry ran downstairs to the pitch. He was still early so decided to fly some bit before the others came. He was so happy to escape the Dursleys over the summer that he just realized something he had been overlooking all along. He had, indeed, asked Snape to spend his holidays with him. Snape of all people, the bastard everyone hated, the greasiest git of all time.  
Meanwhile his teammates arrived and joined him in the air. They were all in a playful mood because the holidays were close and only a few hadn't finished their exams yet. They chased each other and pretended to crash all along. Harry hadn't this much fun for long and he forgot his problems (Summer with Snape and Voldemort) for some precious moments.  
After training he explained Ron he would spent his summer at Grimmauldplace. Ron seemed a little guilty because the whole Weasley family would visit Ron's brother Charlie in Egypt. But Ron agreed with Harry upon that Grimmauldplace was a better place than privet drive. Of course Harry didn't tell Ron with whom he would be there.

* * *

 

The next day Harry did to his surprise quite well in his potion exam. Probably because it was generalized and not something mean Snape made up.  
In a good mood he joined later that day Krumm, Fleur, Hermione and Ron. They all had become good friends but now it was time to part. Their departure was rather brief and Hermione began to cry. Ron calmed Hermione by embracing her and Harry felt proud for Ron. His time with Fleur had apparently taught him some things while Cho and Harry had barely talked after the Yule ball. Harry just wanted to keep it like this. He was afraid to bond with somebody while Voldemort sought his death.  
The three of them made their way back in the castle. One more week to go before they would take the Hogwarts express.  
The last day of term they just laid in the grass by the large lake. At five a clock the train would part and there were only a few hours left. As the express arrived at Hogsmead Harry missed Hagrid to goodbye him who had went with Madame Maxime to a visit to BeauxBaton.  
The train left and the three friends sat on their bench lost in thoughts. Eventually Luna, Neville and Ginny joined them til the train stopped at King's Cross where Harry was awaited by Kingsley Shaklebolt, an auror who was the guardian of the minister of magic. Harry knew him from several meetings and was glad it was him to escort him to his destination. Kingsley never talked much and Harry liked the discreet of his.

Soon they arrived at Sirius house. Harry had been there only once for a few hours. Actual, his godfather and Lupin were doing Order business abroad so the house was unused.  
Kingsley only stayed for a few minutes to make sure Harry got everything he needed then he excused himself and went outside to apparate.  
Harry was alone now. He looked around the house, he had never seen every room and now seemed the perfect opportunity to do so.  
He started on the floor, there were a grand foyer, a dining hall and a kitchen, upstairs there were various bedrooms, baths, a parlor, a library and various locked doors. The house itself was old and used but the rooms were lively and warm. Harry wondered if Snape even was in the house because no trace shew the evidence of him. Last came the basement. It was quite dark there but Harry could see one fully lit room. He went to it first and saw Snape looking at some vials in deepest concentration. Harry leaned in the door frame and watched the man various minutes before the professor noticed him.


	28. Orders

“Mr. Potter, who thought the blacks had such a formidable laboratory.” Snape said trailing his lip with his index finger, lost in thoughts. Harry watched his professor in a mixture of amusement and horror. “Have you unpacked yet?” Snape asked him in a rash tone. Harry shook his head. “Then I suggest you go and just do that. When you have finished meet me in the kitchen.” “Yes, Sir.” Harry replied. Snape turned back to his potions and tried to forget all those forbidden thoughts what he could do with such an obedient Harry.  
Harry quickly unpacked his things. It wasn't much he owned. His broom, some books about charms and potions, a blue piece of glass, his owl.  
Then he made his way to kitchen where Snape was awaiting him. “Please have a seat, Potter.” Snape gestured to the opposite chair on the kitchen table. “How about we agree on some rules to make our time together...bearable.” Snape began thoughtfully. “That's fine, sir.” Harry agreed obediently. “Rule one: You do everything I say with no exception. Rule two: Ask me as many questions you can even if they are annoying. Rule three: You will not enter the laboratory without my permission. Did you understand that?” Snape looked sternly at Harry. “Yes, sir.” Harry replied obediently once more. Then he asked: “Have you eaten yet?” Snape shook his head in mild surprise. “Well, I can cook, you know?” Without accepting any further reply he stood up and began to search the kitchen for food which was plenty.  
Snape watched the boy work in silence. A few minutes later the dinner was ready. Nothing extravagant just some eggs with toast and a soup. Harry looked at him shyly. “If you want I can cook every time. I learned it at my uncles.” “You may do so.” Snape replied curtly. After they had eaten Snape said: “Do you know any housekeeping spells?” Harry declined. “I can show you a few.” Snape taught Harry a spell to wash dishes, one to cup vegetables and some more. Harry was fascinated that magic could do even such simple things.  
Then Snape said to him. “Go to bed, Potter. I'll see you tomorrow at eight o clock right here.” Harry nodded and left the kitchen to do as Snape had said. By now it felt strangely natural to him to follow any instruction the man gave without hesitation.  
Back in his room he wondered what may come of it. All his life he had loathed Snape for such behavior but now it was different. He was different. That night he dreamed a lot of strange things about him and Snape and Voldemort which didn't let him rest at all. Those damn dreams seemed edgy to him. Tired Harry gathered his things and made his way downstairs.


	29. Teaching and Learning

A little after eight am Harry stood in the kitchen but Snape didn't show up. So Harry decided to make breakfast using the new spells his professor had taught him. Thirty minutes later Snape strolled into the room. “I see you got the hint.” He sneered and seated himself at the table. Harry joined him immediately. They ate in silence til Snape raised his perfectly calm voice: “Did you masturbate last evening?” Harry spluttered the juice he was drinking in shock. “You have to control your emotions.” His professor sneered. Harry looked at him in Horror. “Why do I have to learn that?” “Because the dark lord is a master in reading emotions. By controlling them you take out one of your many weaknesses.” The man explained in a silky voice. “Okay, I get that.” Harry said helplessly. But Snape was not done. “Did you think about Cho while you masturbate?” “What? Hell no?” Harry cried in shock. Snape looked at him with a neutral gaze. “You're an open book to me. Try harder.” “Did you like being kissed by her?” Harry went crimson and shouted back. “At least I had someone to kiss, not like you!” “Oh, I had someone to kiss. Your father to be exact.” Strangely, Harry felt a sting in his heart as he shouted: “Tell my you are lying, you bastard.” Snape watched at Harry in perfect calm. “You may see, how easy you are to upset and why this training is necessary?” “Tell me the truth you asshole.” Harry spat in uproar. “Watch your language, Potter.” Snape hissed. Harry's eyes blazed with fury at him but Snape didn't care. He didn't want the boy to like him. A few minutes they stared at each other till Potter seemed composed again. “Lesson number two for today -” Snape continued as if nothing had happened - “is physical combat. Most wizards focus only on their magic and neglect their physical strength. Therefore they're at a huge disadvantage when they loose their wand but this you already experienced first hand, didn't you, Potter?” The boy didn't reply probably because he wasn't done sulking. Snape let out an annoyed sigh. “Follow me, Potter.” He rose from the table and lead to a spacious room in the basement where a whole lot training supplies were. “Do you have ever heard of a material art called yuzu?” Harry nodded. “I came across it on a research.” “Good, then you probably know that it requires a well trained body to work it perfectly. I will show you know some basic movements, try to imitate me.”  
Harry admired with what ease Snape performed the basics and tried to keep up. After a few minutes the potionmaster commented. “You know the basics already, do you?” “Yeah, well, I practiced Yuzu a little, because I thought it might help me to protect myself.” Harry stuttered. “That's an odd realization for our cocky golden boy”. Snape thought, but drawled: “If you know the basics already, then how about we have a little fight?” Harry looked at him in consideration. “I don't know. I have always practiced alone. I probably cannot keep up with you.” He voiced his doubts. “Much things you just learn by doing them.” Snape pointed out. “Alright.” Harry said nervously. Snape performed the traditional dueling gesture only wizards did. Harry imitated him. Then Snape attacked Harry with an immense speed. Harry didn't even see him coming as he felt the first hit at his chest. Hastily he tried to focus on his defense but it was no use. In a bliss of pain Harry decided to rather attack than to block. He threw his fists at Snape but he caught it like one of a little child. “Potter, you need more strength.” Snape recognized. “I will assign you a plan to build up stamina.” Harry simply nodded, not able to talk out of sheer exhaustion. “Rest now, Potter. I will meet you in the kitchen in an hour.” Snape commanded before he let go of Harry's hands to turn around. Harry crashed to the floor. He didn't even notice Snape carrying his whole body weight. “Stupid git.” He thought as he lay on the floor unable to move. They must have been fighting for hours.  
Harry wasn't able to go up for half an hour. As he was able to he dragged himself to the bathroom to take a shower. After that he went to the kitchen where Snape awaited him. He had cooked smashed potatoes and porridge for dinner. Nothing fancy but Harry appreciated it either way. They ate in silence as til Snape raised his voice. “Why did you decide to learn Yuzu instead of another material art?”  
“Hmm, I thought it would be a good combination with wand combat.” Harry said thoughtfully. “What an unusual eloquent answer of you, Potter.” Snape sneered, as he began to make the dishes while Harry wondered whether Snape had just complimented him or not.

Later that evening they sat in the library together. Snape gave Harry a book about defense spells to read before he started reading as well. They spent the evening almost in complete silence. Eventually Harry asked Snape for advice if he didn't understand something but that was all they talked. Harry came to think that Snape was indeed a bearable company, although his body hurt.  
A little later Harry excused himself to go to bed. He had the feeling he couldn't even talk coherently any more. “Potter, I see you tomorrow 8am.” “Yes, good night, sir.” Harry answered before he left.  
The first days Harry went through much training and didn't sleep much.  
Soon the after effects noticeable. One day, after yuzu practice where Snape had discarded him with more ease than before Harry just couldn't get up. “Potter, get up in an instant.” Snape demanded. But Harry didn't hear him. In fact he was sleeping of exhaustion. Snape sighted heavily. There was no use with that boy at all. Unfortunately, the boy looked gorgeous even in such an ungraceful position. Severus forced himself not to touch the slightly golden skin, to ran a finger over the delicate jawline. He had to be careful or he would develop desires for the boy he never could give in to. Maybe he was more of a masochist than he thought. After all he had decided to be locked up with the boy in a house for over a month. With a heavy sigh Snape carried the sleeping boy who was oddly light for his age to bed. Later he watched Harry sleep for a long time, torn between grace and desire. He had to be strong, he always was.


	30. Latin

The days flew by. Harry became better in his daily training with Snape. In training he could even bring the other man down sometimes which made him feel damn proud. Snape was an admirable opponent after all. But he also found himself wondering because strangely Snape seemed able to tear his clothing apart every time they fought causing Harry not to wear shirts at their daily training session anymore. Meanwhile Snape caught Harry staring at him more and more often. The potionmaster was worried the boy was getting to comfortable around him. Although nothing happened so far...Soon their daily training didn't knock out Harry completely anymore which left him more energy for studying. Surprisingly Snape enjoyed teaching Harry so far. First he would ask random questions about the boy's school subjects and then correct and lecture him about anything he thought was useful or give him a book to read. The boy was astounding. Nothing compared to his usual performance in school. In fact he had a good memory and was more than eager to learn. Severus appreciated his behavior, especially since he didn't have to explain anything trice, but it made him question why Harry never stood out in school. He planned to ask the brat soon.

One day when they were reading silently in the library Snape noticed Harry watching him. “What are you staring at, Potter?” He drawled. “Nothing.” The boy turned his view back to the book he was supposed to read but Harry couldn't concentrate this evening. Soon Snape noticed the brat watching him again. “What's now?” Snape asked annoyed. “Sorry, can't concentrate.” Harry mumbled. “Can't you lecture me about something? Things are always more fun when you teach me.” Snape shook his head. “Are you serious?” “This doesn't apply to class, of course.” Harry clarified with a smug smile. “But now I'd like it.” Snape shot him a sour look. “What topic would you prefer then?” Harry didn't need to think about it. “Can you speak latin, sir?” Snape nodded. “Is it true that it can be used with magic?” Harry queried. “It is. Although it only works ordinary magic.” Snape explained. Harry shrugged his shoulders. “Sounds useful enough to me. So can you teach me?” Snape had to hold back a smile. It was rare to find a student who was interested in such. “If you look at it that way we might do that tomorrow but first you'll read about the basics so I don't have to start with nothing.” Harry smiled. “Fair enough.” Snape stood up to fetch a book for Harry from his rooms. He would never admit it but the first time he was pleased with a student. The following days Snape spent teaching Harry latin. Although the boy had proven to be teachable after all the language was tough for him. Snape almost feared he would fall back in his former insolence but Harry surprised his teacher with steady patience. 


	31. First kisses never go well

One day they sat together in the kitchen for breakfast like they always did. No longer, they ate in silence but teased each other all along. “Potter, you sure enjoy showering with the other quidditch boys, do you?” Snape sneered, satisfied as Harry's cheeks went pink. “No, professor.” He locked his gaze with Snape. “Don't you like them fawning over you beauty?” Snape drawled. “Did you just call me beauty?” Harry asked back. “Believe me when I say I had never the faintest intention, Potter.” Snape spat giving Harry a piercing look. “But you and Mr. Weasley are awfully close are you? Do you stare at him when he dresses himself?” “Course I do, cause I am a fag.” Snape cocked an eyebrow on him. “Just kidding.” Harry explained mockingly. “Probably you are a fag, too. The way you manage to get out of my clothes every time..” “Yes, I like little insolent brats who don't know there place and flirt shamelessly with me.” Snape growled. Harry tried to suppress a laughter but his cheeks became even more pink. “Would you mind if I did just that?” “My, my Potter. Maybe I am losing my touch. Don't forget I am your professor.” Snape sneered and Harry knew he would be payed back during their training lesson for his cheek.  
This lesson, Snape lectured Harry about the mayor aspects of combining magic with yuzu. Harry listened closely but couldn't understand. Harry knew the other man was angry with him because Snape tended to be unfair when he was.  
Prepared for the worst, Harry stood face to face with Snape who stared grimly at him. Snape lost no time to start fighting. Swiftly he fired three hexes at Harry who could barely dodge. Surprised about Snape's vast attack Harry didn't even thought about backfiring. He just tried to block spell after spell Snape cast at him. Unfortunately, he couldn't keep up with his professors speed yet and soon he noticed he had reached his extend of power after some moments of fierce battle.  
“Crap.” He thought, as he saw his wand flying out of reach in a split of second. Automatically he charged towards his attacker who hadn't anticipated this move. Harry literally flew at Snape and they both crashed to the floor. Astonished Harry noticed Snape turned around in mid air to yank Harry under him before they crashed to the floor.  
Some seconds none of them moved. Harry could feel the Snape's cold covering him and smell his clean scent. Snape- only inches away. That was all Harry needed to get aroused.  
He had always denied such feelings but now, to his shock, he was getting hard. Instantly he tried to get free of the other mans weight. But Snape pinned him to the ground mercilessly. With a pained expression he hissed: “Potter, what do you think you are doing?” Desperately Harry tried to move. “What part of making things bearable did you not understand?” The professor spat in fury “I'm sorry, sir.” Harry yelped. Snape could feel Harry's erection pressing against his stomach. But he didn't let go. “Do you understand what I endure by having you with me half naked? I'm sure you don't.” Snape's expression grew wicked. Harry flinched intimidated. Snape's face was only inches away from Harry's by now. Green eyes blazed at pitch black ones in raw need. “Please.” Harry whispered not knowing what he was begging for. That was all Snape could stand. He needed to take the boy now or he would go mad. Overflown with desire and a loud groan his lips crashed onto Harry's which made the boy cry out in surprise. Forcefully his tongue found entrance in Harry's mouth and savored it. The boy squirmed in sensation arching his hips towards him.  
Harry felt like in trance the only thing that mattered was Snape kissing him. Harry moaned as waves of sensation rolled over him again and again. He wished the man who was pressing against him never to stop.  
Heavily breathing Snape let Harry's mouth free. Harry jerked his hips but Snape didn't move. He just stared with pitch black eyes at Harry who moaned and arched his hips against him. This very moment Snape's thoughts were strangely sober. He had lost it and got caught up in his desire. He shouldn't ever have done this to Harry. Never, but he did. The boy noticed something had changed and blinked at Snape with a dreamy expression on his face as the professor got up and left the room with no further word spoken.

However Harry, still burning with arousal, remained in the room and tried to figure out what happened. He had never thought of his greasy potionmaster in that way and he never experienced this feeling of burning before. Was this something the old git had made up to test Harry? Harry refused to believe so, although he felt ashamed of his needy behavior. He would never be able not to blush if he saw the man. Awkward. He cursed himself a dozen of times until he got up. Unsure what to do next and completely turned off he finished his training alone. Because he didn't want to meet Snape afterward Harry hurriedly went to his room where he planned to stay til he had figured things out. Harry didn't know why it hadn't occurred to him sooner but the way Snape acted around him was off. One day Snape seemed to nearly like him another Snape loathed him with all his guts. Harry didn't know what to make out of it. When he had replayed the scene in his head for the millionth time, Harry fell into a deep exhaustion induced slumber. 


	32. Sleeping with you

Suddenly Snape heard the boy screaming. Growing nervous he rushed in Harry's bedroom before he even realized what he was doing. The boy must been having a worse nightmare because he sounded like he was tortured. Snape tried to wake the quivering mass in front of him by force but he failed. What was going on? Harry hold his arms like he was shielding himself from something and his face showed a great strain of pain. Snape pitied him. (No one should be able to harm Harry but him) Harry had not chosen this, not like him back in times... The helpless screams continued. Snape tried to calm his student by soothing him with warm words which Harry didn't hear. Was Voldemort tormenting Harry while he slept? Quickly Snape chanted some hexes to send some adequate potions flying towards him. Harry was in danger, that he was sure of. Then he tried to pure some of the potions in Harry's clenched mouth. The one he was kissing before... No that was not the time to think of such things. Slowly Harry calmed down but didn't wake up. Occupied Snape watched the boys sleep. Eventually, he decided it was best if he stayed here in case something happened until the boy woke up. He conjured himself a comfortable armchair and spelled a glass of gin towards him. Sipping his drink he watched Harry's eyes moving behind closed lids. The boy seemed stable now. Snape tried to wake him up once more but Harry wouldn't. Growing suspicious Snape continued to watch the boy. He debated to work legimens on him but Dumbledore had forbidden it. Although he had broken this rule once so why not twice? Torn between desire and guilt Snape didn't noticed Harry moving. Slowly the young man opened his eyes confused to find Snape watching him with a stern expression. “Um, Professor, what are you doing here?” He mumbled. Snape gazed at the boy and said dryly. “You had a nightmare and wouldn't wake up.” Suddenly Harry looked pained. “Yes, I know that. But why are you here?” The mocking question made Snape angry. “Insolent brat. I'm here cause I worry about you.” He could watch Harry's cheeks flush in memory of their kiss. Snape nearly blushed to. “I'm sorry, sir. I forgot to put a silencing charm on me before I went to bed. Please don't punish me.” The boy flinched. “Why would I do that?” Snape asked stunned. Harry averted his gaze again as he mumbled. “Because without those spells I would be loud and disturb you. I'm sorry, sir.” He added quickly. “That's why you cast those silencing charms on a regular basis?” Snape clarified occupied. “Well, yeah.” The boy admitted. “For how long have your been doing this?” Snape questioned further. “Since last summer I guess...when...” Harry looked somewhat ashamed. “There is no need to be ashamed, Harry, your emotions are quite natural.” Snape's words made Harry flinch but he nodded, tears burning in his eyes. “You know I can brew you a potion that prevents those dreams.” Snape said softly. “Yeah and thank you but due to a certain reason I won't take it often.” Harry said honestly. “Potter, what importance can a dream have that you prefer to suffer night after night.” Snape snarled. “It's about Voldemort. Often I can see what he is doing and yet is he planning something and I have to know.” Harry explained. “Did it occur to you that not everything is your duty what regards the dark lord?” Snape asked the boy bewildered. “No, 'cause I am the bloody boy who lived who is supposed to kill him.” Harry said desperately. “And if you were Dumbledore himself, no one is responsible for what the dark lord is doing, neither I, nor Dumbledore, nor any 14 year old Gryffendor brat.” Snape replied heatedly. Harry choose to say nothing. He just stared at his bare hands. Then he suddenly rose his voice. “What about you, are you going to spy for Dumbledore again?” The question hit Snape out of the blue. “That's none of your business.” He spat. “If I were you I would not. They are up to something but I don't know quite what it is yet. But please be aware.” Harry pleaded. “Your compassion is admirable. But I will not make my decision based on the judgment of a boy with nightmares.” Snape announced pissed off. Harry looked hurt. “Would you mind going now?” He asked frostily. “No, as your guardian I am to make sure you are not molested by those dreams.” And before Harry could say something Snape waved his wand and the bed extended itself. Gaping at his professor Harry noticed Snape wasn't wearing one of his usual teaching or fighting robes but a pyjama. Without another word the professor lay done beside him and looked at him with an annoyed but also pleased expression. “I will wake you up if you have any nightmares. Because that's what people do.” He announced self sufficient. “Not my people.” Harry grunted and turned his face to the other side.”  
Snape watched the boy for a long time until he was sure he was in deep slumber. Then he allowed himself to think about how he landed up in Potter's bed. How come he always lost his head if the likes of Potter were involved? Snape groaned as he watched the boy turning towards him still asleep. His life had been easier as he still hated the boy. What had changed? 


	33. Grades and Sex

The next morning Harry prepared breakfast in the kitchen as usually when Snape came by. Ignoring the fact Harry didn't wore a shirt again he sat down without a word about the events of last night. They ate in silence as they used to but today there was an unknown tension between them. Harry didn't know what to make of it. He didn't know anything about the man at all. At least his attempts to stir some reaction from the man had failed. Before he could stop himself Harry who was driven mad by desire blurted out: “Professor, would you dance with me?” He felt his cheeks turn crimson and he quickly averted his gaze in preparedness of some cynical answer of his professor but it never came. Snape just stared at him obviously irritated. He trailed his lip with his index finger like he always did when he was deep in thoughts. Harry felt driven mad by this movement and shifted nervously in his chair while he watched Snape curiously. After a few minutes the potionmaster rose gracefully from his chair. “Annoying as always, are we, Potter?” He said unwillingly while offering his hand to lead Harry into the living room.  
This time Snape spelled silently music in the room and they began dancing in circles like they had weeks ago. They moved for a long time and Harry could smell the clean, musky scent of his professor. Neither of them said a word until Snape genuinely rose his voice. “Why do you still wear that ring, Potter?” He tried to sound indifferent. Harry leaned in to the chest of Snape. “Potter, what are you doing?” The professor asked mildly annoyed. “Screw Voldemort, Screw Dumbledore, Screw my dad” Harry whispered. “I kept the ring because I wanna be with you.” Uncertainly he looked in the pitch black eyes of his professor who seemed speechless for the first time in his life. “Potter, this isn't one of your brightest ideas, you know?” Snape said sarcastically. “Please.” The younger man breathed. “Please?” Snape asked framing the boys face with his eyes. “Please, sir.” Harry whispered, pressing himself against the other man. “You don't know what you are asking for.” Snape said in a husky voice, his face only inches away from Harry's. “I want you.” Harry moaned.  
Slowly, like in trance Snape lifted his chin up so Harry was forced to look him in the eyes. Harry shuddered under the intense gaze.  
Snape kissed Harry. Snape savored his young mouth in a way that weakened Harry's legs until they seemed to be made of jelly. The display of passion shown on Snape's face made Harry hard. Rock hard. Deepening the kiss he tried to grind his hips on Snape's, a desperate moan escaping his lips.  
Suddenly Snape broke the kiss and bit into Harry's ear. The boy inhaled sharply in surprise. Snape began kissing his jawline and trailed down his naked body. Harry could do nothing but squirm between these intense touches. Snape worked his way down to Harry's navel then unbuttoned the boys trousers. Harry breath hitched as Snape's slim fingers wrapped his cock in his boxers. “You are such exquisite sight.” Snape murmured in Harry's ear while he caressed the hard member. Harry withered. “You like my voice, do you?” Snape purred. Harry could do nothing but moan. Desperately he arched his hips forward into Snape's touch. “So close.” Snape hissed softly. Then sucked on one of Harry's nipples. A burning sensation built up in Harry working its way through his whole body as he came with a surprised cry into his boxers. He trembled so hard Snape had to hold him otherwise he would have crashed to the ground.  
“That was amazing.” Harry breathed as he had recovered. “Who thought the boy who lived was gay.” Snape mused. “I am not gay.” Harry said defiantly. Snape rose an eyebrow. “I see.” He snorted. “I mean. I didn't now.” Harry defended himself. “At least until now.” He clarified. “You mean you are a virgin?” Snape asked him trying to control his features. “Yes, but doesn't this count?” Harry smiled. “This doesn't matter now, Potter. I apologize, I shouldn't have done this.” Snape said. “But you did.” Harry stated flatly. “Yes, seems I have a thing for snotty Gryffendor brats.” The other man sneered. Harry raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Then maybe I have thing for an old greasy potionmaster. What do you think will come out of it?” Harry mocked him. “I have something in mind.” The potionmaster hissed, heat burning in his eyes. Harry felt his cheeks turn crimson. Snape turned away from him, a sudden look of disgust on his face. He cleared his throat. “I am sorry but we have to end this.” Harry took his hand. “Please don't send me away.” Snape stared at him. “I have to. This cannot be repeated.” Harry inched closer. “Why not? I want you.” Snape's expression grew fierce. “Let me point this out to you: I don't share and I don't play nice.” He warned the boy. Harry had never seen the man so powerful, he really was gorgeous. Snape's sonorous voice became husky as he muttered: “Think about it, if you want to go, go now.”  
Amazed, Harry looked at the potionmaster. “I will be yours as longs as you want me. You will have me as long as you want me.” He vowed. The green eyes blazed at Severus who was truly at a loss for words. “That's your decision? Be aware nobody must ever find out or there will be harsh consequences.” He rubbed his chin with his slender fingers. Nevertheless Harry found Snape looked pleased and that was something so rare he had never seen it before. Maybe he would get his always grim looking professor to laugh sometimes.  
Suddenly Snape rose to his full height showing his I’m-pissed-of-will-take-dozens-of-points-from-your-house” face and said as if nothing happened. “Professor Dumbledore is coming here to discuss any further actions. He is also going to fetch the wolfs bane for Lupin I still need to complete. Therefore I will be in the laboratory and I suggest you try to dress yourself properly in the meantime.”  
Disappointed about Snape's sudden distant behavior Harry averted his gaze as he spoke shyly. “I don't have any more tops left, sir.” Snape lifted an asking eyebrow. “How come?” “You just managed to tear them all apart. I don't have anything fitting left.” Harry blushed once more. “That's hilarious.” The Snape sneered which made Harry feel irritated and insulted. “I don't own much.” He defended himself. Looking at the boy Snape recognized Harry wasn't joking. “Wait here.” Snape ordered. Swiftly he went to his room and took one of his black sweaters made of silk. Then he came back to the boy who still sat on the couch looking kind of anxious. Snape tossed his sweater at him. “Take this one, Potter, and make sure you are ready for any tiresome conversation.” Leaving a humbled Harry behind Snape went downstairs to the potion laboratory where he started to set up the wolf bane. It was a work he could do without paying close attention to and so he began to wonder what exactly Harry's behavior had meant. Did the famous golden boy live in poverty? Angry he wished the thought away. Of course the boy who lived was supposed to be spoiled. How could he not? But then Snape remembered what Harry had told him last term, what he still couldn't believe but was true nonetheless. Could this be the reason why Harry was so submissive to him? Severus stilled, no, he refused to think about anything that evolved Harry, Sex and himself. He cursed himself inwardly for not stopping this while his vicious side asked why he should stop at all.  
Dumbledore arrived at the house and Harry opened the door. “Harry, good to see you again.” The old wizard smiled. “Hello, professor.” Harry said shyly, he respected Dumbledore deeply but he tended to keep cautious around his headmaster because he had never really learned to trust him. Dumbledore ushered past him towards the kitchen. “My dear boy, how are your holidays?” He asked tentatively. “Pretty good.” Harry answered to Dumbledore's and his own surprise. “I mean, they are alright despite the learning.” Harry added quickly. “I'm glad, my boy. I hope you and Professor Snape get along?” The headmaster queried. “He is still alive. So I would call it a success.” Snape sneered who just entered the kitchen. “Ah, Severus there you are, how are you?” Dumbledore said with twinkling eyes. “Fine. At least, the boy seems somehow teachable.” Snape glared at Harry who looked away quickly. “How fortunate you are on speaking terms finally.” Dumbledore said amused. “Albus, there is a matter we need to talk about.” Snape raised his voice. “Of course, Severus.” The headmaster assented. “I'd rather discuss this with you out of the boys hearing.” Snape drawled. Dumbledore nodded and looked apologetic towards Harry. “Would you mind following me to the potion laboratory? We will not be disturbed there.” Snape said with a mocking glance towards Harry who fumed inwardly about the potionmaster's rudeness. “I'm sorry Harry, but Severus will surely tell you the necessities.” Dumbledore said as he followed Snape downstairs.  
Harry stayed in the kitchen, outraged. He had forgotten how nasty Snape was. How dared he to talk above his head like he was a child? He wasn't a child obviously, otherwise Snape wouldn't have kissed him, would he?  
Angry Harry started with his daily training routine. First he ran a few times through the big and empty dinner hall, then he did pushups. He knew anger was a good fuel for training. It kept him moving. He wondered what took those two men so long. But this very moment Snape emerged scene. “Good, you are training. He recognized. “Dumbledore just left, you have his greetings. Dinner is ready in half an hour.” Snape added before he left the room.  
Later Harry joined the man at the kitchen table. Snape had made some omelet with vegetables and various fruits. Harry acknowledged Snape's cooking skills. He had never eaten this good over the holidays and Snape watched Harry's immense appetite in a mixture of pleasure and surprise.  
While they were eating Snape said: “Dumbledore brought your Hogwarts letter.” Not looking up from his dish Harry asked in mere interest: “What does it say?” “Of course I haven't read it.” Snape scolded. “Sorry, didn't mean to offend you.” Harry said quickly, still busy eating. “Well, don't you want to open it?” Snape questioned curiously. “No, not really.” Harry shrugged. “Brat, back in my days, people did mind their grades.” Snape informed him scandalized. “Well, why don't you look in my letter then?” Harry asked between two bites. “Want me to laugh at you?” Snape sneered. “No, just open it.” Harry said quietly. Snape fetched the letter and gave Harry a questioning look who looked at him defiantly.  
Sighing Snape opened the letter and started reading. Expectantly Harry studied the other man expression which turned from mockery to blankness. “How bad is it?” Harry asked irritated. “Straight O's” Snape answered in shock. “Don't mess with me.” Harry said mockingly. Glaring, Snape handed Harry his letter. Harry studied it inventively, then he raised his head. “Straight O's.” He confirmed willing himself a straight face while laughed his ass off because of Snape's flabbergasted expression. He had done it. He couldn't tell how, but there had been an emotion on the elegant face. “Who had thought our little hero is not only a beauty but also smart.” Snape who had sorted his features out sneered. Harry blushed. “Please, don't tell anyone.” He pleaded. “What do you mean, Potter?” Snape questioned. “I don't want Voldemort to think there is more to the boy who lived than he already does.” Harry explained moderately. “Hear, hear, such words from the great golden boy.” Snape mocked him. “Does it bother you?” Harry asked rage building up inside him. “No, why should it? But you didn't cheat on that one, did you? Otherwise I would like to have an explanation.” Snape pointed at the potion grade. Harry paled. “Duh, let's just say I am always super distracted in class and that's why I always botch up the potions.” He smirked. “What do you mean?” Snape asked interested. “O come on. You know what I mean. It's all you.” At Snape's confused look he added. “It is your presence. Your voice, your hands, your hair. Everything.” Snape looked kind of shocked at Harry while he tried to figure out if the boy was playing....  
“So you really have a crush on me?” Snape asked interested. The crimson coloring of Harry's cheeks were proof enough to Snape but to his surprise Harry admitted freely. “Well, I only realized it a few days ago.” The potionmaster did his really best to hold back a scornful laughter. Harry in love? With him? After he had taken his anger out on him over the years as revenge for his father's doings? This couldn't be true. Harry had to be joking. Snape took a deep breath to come up with the most cruel answer to tear the boy apart. He was truly pissed off now which was good thing because that was what he considered as appropriate behavior towards a student. He shouldn't let this go further anyway. He had never touched a student and won't do it in the future. At least this was what he decided on while this libido told him to fuck the boy senseless. “Fuck me.” Surprised Snape looked up, not sure if his libido or Harry was talking to him. “I want you to fuck me.” Harry repeated calmly. “Potter, what are you talking about?” Snape growled annoyed. “I mean what I said.” The younger insisted. “Potter, how long do you think I will restrain myself? You better be serious or stop instantly.” Snape threatened. “I am.” Harry stated quietly. “Potter.” Snape barked. Suddenly he was behind Harry and yanked the youth up by his collar. The boy looked back with his innocent green eyes. “I want you.” He whispered. “Are you really this desperate?” Snape asked, his face so close to Harry's they almost touched. “There are probably thousands of young witches and wizards who yearn after you.” He added as Harry didn't reply because was overwhelmed by the sensation of Snape being so close to him. “Please.” Harry begged his professor who couldn't fathom the whole situation. “Strip. I want to see you entirely.” The order slipped out before Snape could restrain himself. Hastily Harry removed the shirt Snape had given him, then he unfastened his pants while Snape watched him hypnotized with blazing eyes. The sight Harry gave was extraordinary. The boy was thin, nearly too thin but he was nicely toned and although he wasn't as tall as his father had been he had the same cocky expression on his face. “Done.” Harry said firmly to his professor who still stared at him disbelievingly. “Well? What does it cost me to be fucked by you, Snape?” Harry mocked the man. “Everything.” Snape replied hoarsely. Then he shook his head now determined to show the boy one didn't mess with the him so easily. “Undress me.” He ordered curtly because he could already feel his cook react to the display of male beauty in front of him. With trembling fingers Harry began to button down the heavy ropes. Done, he almost didn't dare to look at Snape's huge erection. Snape embraced him from behind and began gently teasing Harry's cock. Soon the boys breath became hitched and his moans more and more desperate as he tried to grind himself on Snape's groin but Snape was careful to keep a slight distance. “Please.” He begged once more. “My, my Potter. What little whore you are being so eager to take my cock.” Snape's voice was dark and rich. Harry shivered under its impact. His skin burned in an incredible fire as Snape's cool fingers caressed his arching erection. Snape knew the boy was close but so was he. He wished he could have entered Harry's arse at once but the boy was untouched and needed to be prepared first. The thought he was the only one who had seen Harry like this made Snape almost come on the spot though but who was he if it weren't for his control? Carefully he inserted one finger into Harry's tight whole. Immediately the boy stiffened. “Relax.” Severus murmured. Then he added another one and began to move. “How does this feel?” He questioned in that velvet voice Harry liked most. “Good.” The boy managed although he thought he might came any second. Slowly Snape moved his fingers in and out til he finally hit Harry's prostate. The younger man cried out in surprise and came right on the sport. Thousands of sparks jolted through his body which made him unable to think or even to breathe but Snape was merciless. He had added another finger although Harry felt already fully filled. How was Snape's huge cock supposed to fit? But before his brain could entirely proceed this thought Snape had entered him with one fierce thrust. Harry nearly screamed. “Does it hurt?” Snape asked wickedly. The man didn't even wait for any reply he only arched in deeper. This made Harry's deflated cock show new interest. He couldn't get hard so soon. Desperately he tried to breath but Snape made it impossible by thrusting his cock in a fastened pace. Waves of pleasure flooded through Harry as Snape hit his prostate again and again letting his erection arch. Snape only increased his pace as he neared his climax and suddenly Harry's arse was filled with hot fluid. Snape collapsed onto Harry's bag, pressing him down. That was enough to Harry come, too. This time with a little cry. Relieved Harry turned around to face Snape with a little smile. “This was bloody brilliant.” Snape arched an eyebrow. “I've had better.” He said dryly and began dressing himself. Confused Harry watched Snape doing so while he wondered how the man managed to stay always so calm. Snape's thoughts were pretty sober in this very moment as they often tended to be when you are profound guilty. Tucking his shirt in he watched the dazed expression on Harry's face. “Go to bed, Potter. In this state you are useless to me.” Harry threw him an offended look but went to his bedroom. Sighing Snape looked at the clothes Harry had left in the kitchen. Harry definitely hadn't a problem showing off his body.  
Later this evening Snape joined Harry in bed again. He was kind of relieved to find Harry already sleeping. He wasn't prepared to see regret on the beautiful face yet but he also wasn't averse round two either..

* * *

 

The next morning Harry woke up feeling something warm and hard pressing at his back. Sleepily he turned around. Behind him was Snape deeply snoring with an almost relaxed expression on his face. Harry ran his hands through the long black hair which felt like silk under his fingers. He had never had time to look at Snape throughout and therefore he began tracing the man's elegant features. It was true, Snape wasn't most would call beautiful but to Harry he was damn handsome. In Harry's eyes Snape looked, well, like a man should look. Careful not to wake his professor up Harry moved his hands down the lean torso. Snape's body was -although he was thin- extraordinary trained for someone who was supposed just to crack books all day but Harry didn't wonder because he had been trashed by man far to often to be surprised. He enjoyed looking at Severus. Cautiously because he didn't want to end this to soon he grabbed Snape's long hard cock. Harry stiffened as a low groan of pleasure escaped his professor who fortunately didn't wake up. Harry began teasing the hot flesh, gently licking its length before he took the cock in his mouth. Snape's groans became more and more frequent. Harry watched Severus pleasure overflown face and began playing with the man's balls. He could get used to this, to make his always so controlled professor loose it right here on the spot. At this thought Harry's own cock stiffened. Harry licked faster, he wanted the man to come fast and undone. “Take it whole.” Harry froze. Then he locked up to the pitch black eyes. Immediately Harry was pulled forward by his hair until he nearly chocked. He had never expected Snape's huge cock to fit. The man thrust his hips forward. “Now bring it to an end after you assaulted me while I slept.” He hissed in a low, dangerous voice. Harry who wasn't prepared for such harsh movements nearly choked but Snape's cutting words were only making him hornier than he already was. Then he tasted salty precome in his mouth. With a loud groan Severus arched his hips once more while he came. Suddenly Harry's mouth was filled with cum which was dripping out before he could swallow it all.  
“Lick that of.” Harry heard Snape say from across the room as he had gained his senses back. Snape was already dressing himself as if nothing had happened. “I told you to lick my cum of.” The professor repeated, this time more menacingly. Harry began licking the cum from the blankets. He felt so humiliated but also horny. His erection arched all the more as he noticed the other man's gaze upon him. “I envy you for you youth.” Snape said looking directly at Harry's cock. “You are so dashing as my little whore. Maybe, if you are good, I'll decide to keep you.” Snape reached out for Harry's pulsing cock. “Do I really need to touch you?” He asked teasingly. “You are so close, so desperate to come. Only seconds and you will touch yourself won't you?” Snape seated himself at the bed and watched Harry attentively who broke out into desperate moans. His whole body was burning with desire and two inches away sat everything he wanted. Harry just stared at Snape, wild fury clearly visible on his face. “Tut, tut. Denial isn't your strong suit, is it?” Snape sneered. Cheeks flushed and with a feeling he might die of shame, Harry grabbed his own erection and stroked. Instantly his body was shaken by an orgasm so hard he screamed. As the waves of pleasure slowly subsided only embarrassment stayed. “What was that for?” He asked angrily. “Punishment for taking advantage of me while I slept.” Snape said smugly. “Besides I really love to watch you.” He added and left the room before Harry had found the will to answer. 


	34. Goodbye my toyboy

As Harry went into the kitchen after a quick shower Snape sat already at the table. “What are you doing?” Harry asked interested while he began making breakfast. “I am writing a letter.” Snape looked up to follow the boys actions. He was very pleased Harry's behavior. “You are already trained well.” He sneered. “What do you mean? You are always complaining when we train.” Harry said. “I didn't mean that kind of training.” Snape said smugly pleased to see Harry's face glowing red. So the boy could be startled at all. Snape just finished his letter as Harry sat down on the table to. “To whom are you writing?” The boy asked. “To a friend.” Snape replied curtly. Harry shot him a curious glare. “As if he couldn't believe I have actually friends.” Severus thought just the second Harry asked. “Do I know him?” Snape shot him a cool glance. “I doubt so. He is from france after all.” Harry's eyes became wide. “You know someone from france?” He replied impressed. “Yes, otherwise I wouldn't be writing him.” Snape snarled. “I am sorry. I shouldn't be prying.” Harry apologized helping himself to his second toast. “It's just... have you ever been there?” He questioned then. “Yes, I studied there for a few years. Why do you ask?” Severus replied. “Well,” suddenly the boy seemed embarrassed, “do they have to fight in this war, too?” Snape shook his head at this illogical question. “It's just..sometimes I feel like in a cage or a cave someone has thrown me and Voldemort in to fight this ridiculous battle. But the world is bigger than just England. What are people doing while I have to fight against this madman?” Snape shot Harry an annoyed look. “When you phrase it that way. I have to agree it is odd but the current political situation is problematic because the dark lord's return isn't officially recognized yet and as long as the Wizard Garmod isn't doing so, and I assure you, Dumbledore is working on this day and night, there is little hope any other country will help us.” Harry nodded and thought about Snape's words. He suppressed the urge to ask Snape why they didn't flee, flooed or apparated away to some safe place where now one could find them. Those depressing thoughts were interrupted by Snape raising from his chair and leaving the room. “I'll meet you at the gym in ten minutes.” He announced. “Why don't we skip training and have sex instead?” Harry asked cheekily. “Because I have the duty to prepare you to fight not to entertain in inappropriate pastime activities what I ruefully regret.” Snape sneered.

* * *

The next days involved daily training and sex, lots of great sex. Although his professor soon showed some dominant streak. Besides Snape vehemently turned Harry down while they were working. First Snape's distant behavior upset Harry but soon they were playing a game. Harry who tried to seduce his teacher against Snape who tried to restrain himself. Gradually the holidays neared their end leaving Harry almost sad he had to return to Hogwarts so soon. This had never happened before but he had never such great holidays either. Although he had spent most of the time learning he had enjoyed this summer quite and he was sure Snape felt the same even if the potionmaster would never admit so. Regarding his professor Harry was clueless. Did their relationship just evolve around sex or was there more?

* * *

 

A week before term was about to begin again Harry approached his professor while their daily reading session. “Sir, about the book list. You see I still need to purchase some stuff for next year and Ron has asked whether.. I thought maybe I could...” The brat looked at Snape horrified who was delighted he made still such an impression on him. “You thought about visiting Diagon Alley.” Snape completed the sentence. The boy nodded shyly. “You know it is a dangerous time for someone like you to be seen in public.” Snape drawled. “I know that. So you won't let me?” The boys slumped his shoulders hopelessly. “No, you shall go. It would be a fine opportunity to revise everything you learned so far.” Snape said earnestly. “But what if something happens and I get myself killed?” Harry asked afraid. “Since when you are so dark?” Snape asked astonished and the boy shrugged. “You will be fine.” Snape assured Harry. “What if I am not?” Harry asked uncertainly. “What about your Gryffendor courage?” Snape snapped back. Harry looked at him pained. “There may be times I would prefer cunning you know?” “Such words from a thorough Gryffendor.” Snape sneered softly. “Do you know the sorting hat almost put me in Slytherin?” Harry stated. After an uncomfortable silence Snape admitted: “God, I am glad he did not.” “I am, too.” Harry confessed. Silence stretched out between them again. After a while Snape questioned: “When will you go?” “They asked if I could floo into the Leaky cauldron tomorrow at eleven o clock.” Harry answered deliberately. “Good, have your way then. I need to return to Hogwarts for preparations anyway.” Snape announced. “Thank you, sir.” Harry said and stood up from the chair on which he had been reading for the last few hours. “Where do you think you are going?” Every vibe in Harry jolted like had been set under current. He turned around a half smile on his face. “To bed?” Harry asked innocently. “Come here. I want o see you.” Snape put his book away and glanced demanding at his lover. Nervously Harry came back and nestled himself in Severus' lab while he wondered why the man permitted him to do so when he had forbidden such all summer. Snape petted Harry's head causing same to explode with thousands questions but Harry was smart enough to not ask any of them out of fear they would make Severus stop. Sitting in Snape's lab he felt protected and cared for and soon Harry almost fell asleep. Then he heard the other man's voice quietly speaking to him. “You are so exquisite with your fairy like built.” Simultaneously he touched Harry's cock which showed immediate interest. “You look even more dashing with your black hair and green eyes than your father ever did.” Harry broke out in little moans. “You are divine, nothing is comparable to you.” Snape's voice brushed like silk over Harry who tried grind his hips at the skilled hand. “Youthful impatience. How much I like to see such.” Snape's voice became more husky and Harry could feel the other man's erection at his back now. Snape kissed Harry, hard and fierce. The skilful tongue made Harry moan and shiver and soon climax. Harry could feel his orgasm rolling over him, starting by his feet and making him scream. He came hot and fast in his pants.  
As he had recovered he noticed the obsidian eyes of his lover looking at him absently.  
“Down on your knees.” The sudden command startled Harry. “Now, brat.” Harry slit of Snape's lab and knelt down between his departed legs where the large bulge was clearly visible. “Suck.” Snape freed his huge cock out of his robes. Harry grabbed the throbbing cock causing Snape to exhale sharply. Teasingly, Harry licked his lips. Horny as he was, he wanted another go. Harry licked the tip of enormous cock which seemed to grow even more. He wanted to see his emotionless professor loose control now. Eagerly Harry sucked the tip before he took the cock in even deeper. Snape's breath went ragged. Then Harry who could taste salty precome already to the whole cock in, he let his tongue wander along the whole length. A low groan escaped Snape's throat. The other man was close. Snape moved his hips to fuck Harry's mouth making Harry almost gag but the man only sped up til he filled the boys mouth with cum who managed to swallow almost all.  
Only seconds after his orgasm Snape tugged his cock away he raised an eyebrow at Harry's heated expression.  
“You were a nice toyboy over the summer. I must say I really enjoyed fucking you. But I can't have that back at Hogwarts. I am a professor after all.” He drawled annoyed. Something tore apart in Harry's chest. “So you send me away? How can you do this to me?” Harry asked shocked.  
“Think, Potter. This liaison doesn't benefit us any longer. What would you friends say if they knew you crave older man's dicks up your ass.” Harry paled but he knew Snape was right. “I hate you. You are a perverted old bastard” He spat nevertheless. “I dare say it was consensual til the very end. And of course I hate you, too. This way it makes most fun.” Snape sneered. Glistening green eyes locked with black ones which absorbed every possible light, every sought emotion. Harry stood up whatever he had hoped to find it wasn't to be found here. “Leave. I don't want to see you but in class.” The potionmaster snarled as Harry left, tears in his eyes. He felt betrayed although he had anticipated such action from a man like Snape. But who was his brain to conquer his heart which was shattered now.  
Meanwhile Severus stayed motionless in the library. A silent tear rolled down his cheek. He hated himself for what he had done, what he had to do again. Everything within him had screamed to make the boy stay. But he couldn't have that. For the sake for the boy's safety. Last time he had send someone away like this it had been James, now it was Harry. Once more Severus wondered if life was just some cruel joke. Then he noticed a little folded paper at the page he was reading. The note “I know. I'll do my best to until I can be with you.” was written on it in a messy scrawl. Snape gazed at the paper in mild awe. Why did the boy never fail to amaze him? He doubted it sincerely.


	35. Birthday-Shit

The next day was Harry's birthday. This day was supposed to be the luckiest in his life because it was the first he would celebrate with his friends. Early in the morning he floed into the leaky cauldron. Instantly he spotted his friends sitting who were sitting at a nearby table jumping up. “Harry!” They called. Ron and Hermione congratulated him in a stormy embrace. “We missed you so much. How was your summer?” Hermione asked after they all had calmed down. Once more Harry had the feeling he deceived his friends by telling them some halfhearted truths. Luckily he was saved by Lupin and Sirius who arrived at the leaky cauldron just the second. Harry was very glad to see them again after the long summer. Then the little group went to Diagon Alley which could be entered through the bar's backyard. There Harry was greeted by the rest of the Weasley family and Neville and Luna as well. This really turned out to be the greatest birthday of all time. They spent the day shopping because the students needed their stuff for the next term. The great day ended with them all sitting in a fine restaurant and eating dinner. Harry was so glad he had friends like them who equaled more a big family.  
Over night they stayed in the leaky cauldron because it wasn't far away from King's Cross from where they would take the Hogwarts Express.

* * *

Back at Hogwarts life changed back to normal really fast. The gold trio as McGonegal called them received the post as Gryffendor prefects this year. This was divine because now they experienced many unknown privileges like the prefect's baths. But they had little time to enjoy those because of their classes. The load of homework almost got unbearable because every teacher wanted their students to score highest at the NEWTs which took place after every fifth year.  
Harry hadn't talked to Snape since their kind of break up at the end of summer. Therefore he was anxious about their first encounter.


	36. Nightmares

Bored Harry sat in his first potion class of term. He couldn't remember when he had been this tired before in his life. It was Friday afternoon and he hadn't slept since he had left Grimauldplace. He could barely hold his eyes open and he knew his concealment charms wouldn't do any good for much longer. He debated if he should fake an illness to leave class early. But Snape wasn't the type of teacher who let students go for mere causalities. _Don't sleep.  
_ Besides Snape seemed only to have grown nastier over the holidays. Especially to Harry he was trice as harsh as he used to. He had already taken 25 points in one stroke just because Harry hadn't payed attention. His fellow Gryffindors stayed silent and intimidated as mice while the Slytherins cheered. _Don't let the greasy git get to you.  
_ Snape was at his mean, old best. He ordered his class to brew the classic pepper up potion which wasn't that difficult. But of course Harry managed to screw it up. _Don't sleep._ He couldn't care less about the insults Snape threw at him over the last hour. _Don't look at him._ At the end Harry was the first one to storm out. Ron was right beside him fuming. “How could someone manage to loose 55 points for just attending a class?” He complained. But Harry ignored him. He was to tired to be angry, to tired to do homework and to tired to eat. He just dropped in his bed as soon as he entered their dormitory. Ron eyed him worriedly. But Harry couldn't bear it anymore. _Sleep._

Harry woke up screaming. First he had no idea where he was but slowly he remembered he was in Gryffendor tower. It was a little past midnight and he was home. Hogwarts. Strangely he didn't feel at at home. He somehow missed Snape to soothe him, to be there for him after a nightmare. But that was over. He had to manage on his own. How stupid to let the old git to get so close to him. It only had made him weak. Desperately Harry renewed his silencing spells and tried to fall into sleep again but he couldn't.  
His dreams concerning Voldemort seemed more and more clear to him now, although he couldn't put the pieces together. He felt like he missed something important. The whole weak he had nightmares. Some concerned Voldemort, some were just horror stories his mind made up.  
After what felt like hours he decided he couldn't simply lay in bed anymore. Carefully not to disturb his roommates he took his invisibility cloak out of his trunk and wrapped around him. Then he went through the abandoned common room, out of the tower, towards the room of requirements. That was the plan because he didn't like wander around aimlessly. But today he just felt like it. The world seemed just so damn unfair. Snape had been clear about that nothing would change between them and Harry had accepted it without any regrets but today’s lesson had been the worst.


	37. The weak and the strong

He found himself in front of Snape's door before he even knew where he wanted to go. Sure, he had the illogical desire to just knock and talk with Snape but he also knew he couldn't give in to such a stupidity. Snape would let him never forget him this fauxpas. He would probably kill him for just knocking. But would that be that bad? Harry stilled, completely caught in his musings. He was so tired it hurt so much he possibly could die from it. But he had to be strong. Strong for his friends, strong for the world and strong...for Snape. So he would not be weak. Determined he turned around to...

...bump into Snape who stood right behind him. Harry fell hard to the ground. Just how long had he been standing there? Snape looked somehow irritated as Harry came into his view due to his askew invisibility cloak. “What is your head doing in the corridors, Potter?” Snape said softly. “Your head is not allowed to be in the corridors. No part of your body has permission to be corridors.”  
“I'm sorry, sir.” Harry said quickly and tried to get up but he hadn't any strength left. He wondered how he had enough stamina to made all the way down the dungeons. “You look terrible.” Snape stated. Crap, Harry realized he didn't wore his concealing charms he carefully put into place every morning. “I'm sorry, sir. I couldn't sleep.” Harry barely managed to stumble to his feet. “You still refuse to take any dreamless sleep?” Snape asked bitterly. The boy nodded. “Indeed. Then why are you here?” Snape frowned. “I don't know. I just couldn't lay in bed anymore.” Harry admitted ashamed. “I see. Follow me, Potter.” Snape spoke the indignation to the portrait, a giant snake, and lead Harry into his chambers. He pointed towards an armchair. “Sit.” He commanded. Immediately Harry slumped into it. “How long haven't you slept?” Snape asked. “Since term started.” Harry confessed ashamed. “This explains your disastrous performance in my classroom.” Snape sneered. “I'd like to see after a week without sleeping.” Harry muttered. “Although, better not.” He added remembering the last lesson. “10 points for insolence, Potter.” Snape drawled his thin lips curling into a sneer. “You have missed taking points from me, haven't you?” Harry mocked him. “5 more points, potter.” Snape hissed satisfied. “And now go to bed.” “Can I stay here, Sir? Suddenly the arrogant facade broke and the boy seemed rather afraid. Snape almost couldn't bear seeing his cocky boy so desperate. “I didn't mean yours but mine.” Snape growled before he could think any better. Harry just gaped at Snape astonished of such boldness but got up as the man opened another door which lead to his bedroom with only a bed in it. Harry managed to reach the bed with great effort. He had the feeling he could sleep for a century and maybe he would do just that right here, right now.  
Snape watched the boy dozing of to sleep. Who was he to deny Harry if the boy offered himself on a silver tablet. He forced this thoughts away. Maybe he was not a nice man but an honorable one. Later he joined Harry in bed who was silently snoring. Snape watched him for a long time thinking about what he should do about it all or more what he wanted to do about him.

The young Gryffendor woke quite refreshed, but without a real memory about where he was and what happened. Unsure, he looked around to find himself in a king sized bed with green blankets. The room was gloomy due to a weak fire which kept the room warm. Harry needed some moments to realize in whose peculiar bed he was. As it hit him he could have bit himself. Of course it was Snape. It was always Snape. Seemed like the whole universe gathered around the man. Harry had no idea how Snape would react to him in his rooms but he was sure he was annoyed. The man was always pissed off for various reasons. Harry inhaled deeply to clear his thoughts. He had been sure Snape didn't want him anymore, but why was he here then? Harry figured his various feelings for the man like curiosity, guilt, awe, hate, need, fear, love would never alter. Alright, prepared for the worst he stood up. Swiftly he controlled his appearance in the mirror by the door. His hair was sticky as always but he didn't care. His eyes were still dark underlined in contrast to his pale skin. At least he had gained muscles over the summer and wasn't that thin anymore.  
Anxious he decided it was best to encounter Snape earlier than later in case his bravery left him once more. After a calming breath he opened the door and looked into a spacious living room or library due to the amounts of books which stood in long wooden shelves. This room was also not fully lit and Harry's eyes needed sometime to adjust. He hadn't payed attention to his surroundings the other day and was now eager to see how his professor lived. There were a small sofa and a desk and much things that looked as if they belonged into a museum. Harry realized this room could be a variation of Dumbledore's office although there was no a cheerful headmaster but a moody Snape who sat in his armchair reading. “Hello professor.” Harry said shyly. “Potter, are you alright now?” The other mans eyes narrowed as he turned his look away from his book. “I guess.” Harry said baffled about the impassiveness of Snape. “Potter, I do hope the things you are dreaming equate your loss of sleep.” Harry stared to his feet. Sighing, Snape closed the book shut. “Please enlighten me.” Snape drawled annoyed. “You mean why I am here?” Harry asked. Snape nodded curtly at him. “Like I told you I don't know, I couldn't sleep. Because...probably I am weak.” Harry confessed. “What do you mean by weak?” Snape arched an eyebrow. “Apparently I am not able to sleep without you anymore. Satisfied?” Harry grew angry. “Funny thing to say, but I am, Potter, because you trust me to tell me true words.” Snape said raising from his chair. “I will tell you therefore myself a little truth. Sounds fair, does it?” Uncertainly, Harry shrugged. Snape leaned into him. “Potter, I will tell you this just once so pay close attention. You are not weak. Do believe me when I say you are the bravest and strongest man I know so far.” Now Snape stood only inches away from Harry. “But I am not flawless, how could someone expect me to defeat Voldemort and not fail?” Harry craved the mans closeness. “Nobody who is truly strong would burden this on you. Only the weak would and our duty as strong is to protect the weak.” Snape murmured against Harry's ear. “But what if I am weak?” Harry asked. “Then I will make you strong I promise you. So one day you will be fine.” Snape vowed.

 

_"Weaklings will stay weak forever._

_But weakness is not evil,_

_Since human beings are weak_

_creatures to begin with._

_Alone, you feel nothing but insecurity;_

_That's why we form guilds,_

_That's why we have friends._

_We walk together in order to live a strong life._

_The clumsy ones will walk into more walls_

_than the others,_

_and it may also take them longer to get there._

_If you believe in tomorrow and put yourself out there,_

_You can naturally obtain your strength._

_That's how you will be able to smile and live strong."_

_-Makarov Dreyar_

 

The next weeks Harry showed up in Snape's chambers on irregular intervals. He never came two nights straight, but never kept longer away than three nights in a row. Snape found himself almost wishing the boy to knock on his door which made him all the more annoyed if the boy showed up actually. During Harry's visits they never talked much. The boy seemed completely satisfied with just sleeping while Snape read or just stared at him.


	38. Snape's secrets

One night, Harry hadn't come for three nights and had been even to tired to do more than greet his professor Snape heard sudden screams out of his bedroom. Alarmed he tried to wake the boy up by shaking him. But Harry wouldn't gain consciousness. He didn't want to. The same scene he had watched a dozens times by no replayed itself before his eyes. He looked in the fearful faces of Lucius Malfoy, Mr. Crabbe, Bellatrix Lestrange, Regulus Black and some more he didn't recognize as he began speaking with Voldemort dry voice. “My deatheaters, my dear servants, the preparations are done. All of you are chosen to receive my greatest gift.” The deatheaters bowed down simultaneously. “I want my deatheaters to be the most powerful who rule this land. I want the muggles to struggle in desperation and no mugblood shall live. Everyone of you, my servants, will receive this gift to please only me as your highness.” Harry looked down onto bowing mass to his feed. “Malfoy. Come here.” He hissed. “Yes, my master.” The voice of Draco's father was tensed. “You are shall be the first in my new generation. The one who has the honor to be the first.” Harry chimed. “Thank you, master.” Malfoy breathed excited. Without warning Harry drew his wand and waved it. Suddenly Malfoy screamed in pain. He broke down to his feed but hold forced himself to hold eye contact with Harry. Despite the obvious pain he was suffering his eyes shone with gratitude. Then it was over. “Show me your arm.” Harry commanded impatiently. The deatheater rolled up his sleeve and gave view of his dark mark which shimmered bright red now. The flesh smelled burned but Harry felt delighted. So much it made him anxious. He shouldn't be grateful for another mans injury. Then it hit him. He was Voldemort. In this moment Snape succeeded to wake Harry finally. “Snape, I-” Harry exclaimed confused to find the other man to his side. “Professor, I-” He tried again. But Snape hugged him. “It is over.” He said softly. “I-I know, its just there..” Harry felt unable to phrase just what he had seen. “It's Voldemort. He is planning something.” Snape gave Harry a careful look. “What is he up to?” He asked. “I saw it. He did something to his deatheaters. Damn, I just saw it right before my eyes and now I can't grasp it anymore.” Harry moaned desperately. “Just calm down. Then things will fall into place.” Snape soothed the boy. Harry gave Snape and astonished look but nodded. They sat like this for a while: Snape hugging Harry and Harry enjoying it. Strangely, Harry never felt as safe as with Snape. After a while Snape asked: “Can you talk about it?” Harry shook his head. “I have just seen it but I can't remember. Damn, what good will those dreams do if I suffer through them and then forget everything in the next second.” Snape repressed the urge to pet the boys head. “Tomorrow we can try some spells to reactivate the memory.” He offered. “Thanks, that would be nice of you.” Harry said. Next to him Snape began laughing. “You are the first one who ever called me nice.” Harry gave him an unbelieving look. “Well, you could do that more often you know?” “What?” Snape asked still grinning. “I mean laughing. This the first time I've ever seen you laugh.” Harry explained. Snape shook his head in ridicule and went to his side of the bed. “Good night, Mr Potter.” He announced. “Good night.” Harry mumbled almost asleep again.

* * *

The next day, a Friday, came and due to the nighty events Snape and Harry overslept, a case that never happened before. The first one awake was Severus who new the very second he opened his eyes something was off. “Wake up, Potter.” He barked while swiftly changing into his robes. Sleepily Harry watched the potionmaster's hasty movements. Snape's body was quite gorgeous. A lean muscular frame which was crowned with many tiny marks giving him the look of an ancient warrior. But the most remarkable was the bloody red mark which was a bloody contrast to his all to perfect shape. “There is no time for laziness, Potter. I would take dozens of points if it were my class you were to late to.” Snape sneered. “Thank heaven I have Magical history.” Harry replied but went to fetch his invisibility cloak.

In Gryffendor tower, he explained a confused Ron that he had have a nightmare and went to the common room where he had dozed off. Quickly Harry dressed and reached Binn's class just in time which was a little consolation against a roaring stomach due to a missed breakfast. At least class wasn't as boring as usual. They were talking about the recent history. Something Dumbledore had personally requested of Bins, now the dark lord was officially back. Harry like his muggles raised fellows listened attentively because most of the facts were quite knew to him and he was the bloody boy who lived himself. Whereas Ron seemed pretty much bored. He knew most of it from his dad who worked at the ministry. But even Ron began to show interest in Bins monologue as it came to the dark mark. Something that was feared like the death eaters themselves. Bins showed them a few pictures and Harry payed close attention. With his recent dreams in mind he didn't dare to miss something important in the end. “Doesn't he show us the red ones?” He asked Hermione after class. “What red ones?” Hermione asked back. “You know the dark mark. He only showed us the green.” Harry explained. “But Harry, there is only the green one. No one has ever heard of a red.” Hermione clarified confused. “Are you serious?” Harry asked her growing anxious.  
The whole day Harry wondered why there would be any red marks but he couldn't really figure it out. They day swept away and Harry with it.

Potions was bad as always this day. Snape assigned them to brew a color changing potion. Something Harry could have done easily but his mind was off. If there wasn't any red marks why had Snape one? Or had he just imagined it. Maybe he was over thinking the whole business but something was itching him. He had the utter feeling the whole thing might be more important than he might think but why?  
“Mr. Potter, do you attempt to brew through sole willpower now?” Snape stood right before his desk, arms crossed. “No, sir.” Harry blinked confused at Snape. “Then I suggest you start brewing.” Hurriedly Harry began to prepare his ingredients until he heard a harsh voice yelling at him. “Potter, were you just about to add Dragon Skin?” Harry looked at his outstretched hand in surprise. “Err, seems like it.” He said helplessly. “If you had paid any attention you would now what?” Harry just looked at Snape in loss of words. When had Snape become so handsome? He felt pain shot in his leg as Hermione tried hit him under the desk. “Miss Granger you don't need to cuddle our little Hero anymore. If his behavior stays like this he will fail this class with or without your help.” Hermione turned bright red and averted her gaze. “Ten points from Gryffendor for the futile attempt to cheat in my class, Miss Granger.” Snape looked at Harry on his lips a faint sneer. “Mister Potter, 15 points for not paying attention and stay behind after class.” Ron looked like he could throttle Snape and Hermione had tears in her eyes. But Harry hadn't the mind to deal with them now. He just glanced apologetic towards them and tried to get his potion finished. Luckily he somehow managed to have an almost presentable result at the end of lesson. Grimly, he watched his friends go without him. He knew it would be some nasty business to deal with Snape now, right after potion lesson. But Harry squared his shoulders he had to fight his corner. He hadn't done anything wrong had he?Snape ignored him until everyone was gone than he shut the door with a flick of his wand. “Potter, what's on you mind? First I have to hear complains from nearly every teacher there is about you sleeping in class and having your mind elsewhere and now when we have solved the first problem you still manage to fluke every single one of your lessons it seems.” Harry gazed at the man amazed by his rich voice. “I'm sorry, sir. But I can't help it.” The boy seemed quite miserable to Snape who looked at him annoyed. Why where kids always so insufferable? “Maybe some discipline would do you a great good.” Snape sneered. First the boy gaped at him angrily, then within a second he squared his shoulders and looked Snape confident in the eye. Snape acknowledged that. There weren't many students who dared to do that. “May I speak freely, professor?” Harry asked calmly. “I think it may be best.” Snape growled. Harry nodded and waved his wand to put some privacy and silencing wards around them. Snape looked at him somehow taken aback. “I am somehow glad you asked me to stay because now I don't have to approach you regarding this matter, sir.” Harry began thoughtfully. Snape crossed his arms expectantly. “Well, today professor bins lectured us about the dark mark. He made his presentation quite visible by showing us a green one in persona. When I asked Hermione when he would show us the red ones she said didn't know about any red. But today's morning I saw yours.” Harry slowly finished his sentence. Snape looked at the boy growing angry. “And what are you accusing me of?” Snape hissed in fury. “You posses a red one, do you?” Harry asked perfectly calm. “That is none of your business.” Snape spat. “I'd say it is. Because that is what I am dreaming of for weeks now.” Snape paled. “You are dreaming red marks?” He asked unwillingly. “I don't know. Can I see yours first?” Harry asked Snape who looked like he would like to take a millennium of house points from harry right now. “I would rather not. This is quite private to me.” The man said uncomfortable.” “Please.” Harry said tersely. With a pained expression Snape rolled up his sleeve, revealing his mark. Banned Harry starred down at the blood red strings. His thoughts swirling. Voldemort, deatheaters, an occult rite, the dream. Everything brushed down on him immediately and Harry had the feeling he was going to loose consciousness. “Steady on.” Snape barley caught him before he could crash onto the ground. Snape guided Harry to one of the banks. “What happened?” He asked as soon as he was sure Harry wasn't about to faint any more. “I remember now.” Harry said wide eyed. “The dreams. What they meant to show me is.. Voldemort. He created something dangerous. They are not simple deatheaters any more they are...” Harry stuttered. “Snakemen?” Snape asked carefully. “You could call them so.” Harry said watching Snape in fear. “You are one of them, are you?” “Yes and no.” Snape said bitterly. “Hell my head is spinning.” Harry took a deep breath. Then he eyed Snape curiously. “You are not dangerous like them” He stated. “Yes, otherwise you wouldn't live anymore. Nobody would.” Snape said impassively. “Can you tell me your story?” Harry asked. He had have the feeling to know some of the mysterious person Snape was but he just had to admit it. He didn't. Meanwhile Snape stood there somehow frozen. He didn't even flinch as Harry took his arm without any further reason, just to trail those red lines with his finger. “Does it hurt?” He asked after a while. “No.” Snape managed. He just felt tensed up. “Does Professor Dumbledore now about this?” Harry asked feeling more like the teacher as the student. “Yes.” Snape breathed watching Harry with blazing eyes who still trailed his marked flesh. “Then you won't need to tell me. I will just tell the headmaster about my dreams and he will work something out.” Harry offered. “But I do want to tell you.” Snape rasped. “After all you have pretty much earned the right to know.” “Thank you, sir.” Harry said honestly. Snape who had stood right beside him the whole time sat down next to him onto the bank still allowing Harry to touch his mark. For a while they just remained there in their strange kind of embrace. Then Snape raised his deep voice. “How about you tell me about your dream and I add whatever I can provide?” Snape said in order to gain control about this lost situation. “I'd be delighted.” Harry agreed and took another calming breath. “Do you know when those dream started?” Snape shook his head. “Well, it was that night when we danced.” Snape frowned at him. Why was everything Harry did reasoned out? The boy surely had a hidden Slytherin side. He truly had to begin to see him as a reasonable person not as a sulking teenager. “Well, back then I didn't know I hadn't dreamed it. It was all to confuse and I really couldn't remember it.” Harry resumed the last months. “But the dreams came more and more frequent. At some point caught some glimpse of it and I began to question my imagination.” At Snape's questioning look he explained. “I saw how Voldemort got the preparations done. One time I dreamed he found an ancient book. Another time I dreamed he injected his deatheaters venom. Recently I dreamed he had one of them cut open to prove his results.” Harry shuddered as he remembered this particularly cruel scene. He decided not to tell Snape how he had experienced those dreams. “His experiments presumed and his impatience grew.” Harry continued. “I don't know much about them, just little strands. Hard to say if I'm lucky or not.” Harry laughed grimly. “But there is one thing I know. Tonight he succeeded. He turned his inner circle wild and vicious. They are not human any more. Malfoy is one of them and Bellatrix. I don't know what is worse: His steady impatience and the roaring question what the heck I just dreamed or to know the cause of his delight and to recognize what lays ahead of us.” Harry looked down at his hands wishing he had skipped the last part. Snape who had watched Harry almost silently the whole time began to pet his head absently while he raised his voice. “I understand your reasoning, your resistance against dreamless sleep better now, they just add up yet.” Snape shot a quick glance at Harry before he slowly asked. “From whose perspective did you watch?” Harry tensed. “Mostly of Voldemort's. But a few times when he tortured someone I was the victim. It seems he can't hold it together when he enjoys himself too much.” Snape did great good to hide his shock under his typical sneer. Silence stretched out between them. Then Snape remembered he had to share his part of the truth now. “You have pretty much summarized what achieving the bloody red dark mark is about. So I will tell you some more of its content and effects.” Snape began thoughtfully. “You know the marking rites is a very ancient tradition which was often practiced to link two people like marriage. The function of the dark mark is also to link. But the equilibration between the person who is bond and the person who binds is changed. The person who binds someone in this way inherits the persons magic power and can wield it to his own free will while the other submits. Of course the bonding isn't as strong to make a single person invincible. But a few, or a dozen or even thousands would provide an endless supply of power to the binding person.” Snape gave Harry a long look. “That's what Voldemort has done?” The boy asked. “Yes.” Snape confirmed. “But why would someone let his power been taken?” Harry asked curiously. Snape nearly laughed. “Voldemort is a formidable rhetoric. If he wants to he can spin everyone around his little finger. Plus, back then many people were in need for a strong leader back then. He just gave them what they wanted.” “But you can't say Voldemort is a product of causalities.” Harry contradicted. “No, of course not. “Voldemort is evil, he is ambitious and desires only the unreachable.” Snape continued his speech. “So why wouldn't such a person want even more? If the dark mark was the limit to all evil he would surpass it. Do you see where this is going?” Snape gave Harry a desperate look. “He soaked the ultimate evil.” “So he created the red mark.” Harry said in awe. “We created it.” Snape corrected him bitterly. Because of Harry's shocked look he explained: “Back then I had just joined the higher ranks of his deatheaters and was eager to prove myself worthy. As Voldemort needed help, not that he would admit it, I stepped forward foolish as I was. I was naive and had earned my title as potionmaster just a year ago. The more our work progressed the more Voldemort acknowledged me as useful and I was on top.” Harry looked somehow shocked about Snape's proud testimonial. “Don't take me wrong. You sound not even sorry about your actions.” Harry said disgusted. “I am. I regret those decisions every day with my whole being.” Snape assured him dryly. “But you don't know the dark arts like I do. They are not purely evil. Many things I learned back then are helping us now.” Snape defended himself. “Like what?” Harry asked coolly. “Maybe I will show you one day.” Snape said weakly. “I don't really care.” Harry sounded desperate. “Please tell me more.” He pleaded. “It might be time to approach the question how I have come to inherit the blood red mark.” Snape forced himself to speak again. “As I said. We worked on a method to gain the complete submission of an individual and the dark lord thought me handy in his experiments with venom due to my status. First I felt truly honored to be included in his magnificent plans but then the tests became more and more cruel. When he brought the first human to experiment on I simply lost it. I handed in my notice and ran for it. But the dark lord had different plans than mine. I wasn't even out of the door when he threw the first curse at me. The following particular time I only remember pieces of.” Snape paled even more. “First he tortured me for my own free will then out of sheer delight. But this sweet pain was nothing against what would come. He began to inject me venom. Day after day and only gradually less to keep me alive but nothing more.” Snape paled even more as his memory of hell made his vision blur. But he caught himself. He had to be strong. Strong for him and Harry. Harry who had listened in death silence couldn't prevent a little sob to escape his throat. “I'm sorry.” He cried. “But it sounds so horrid to me.” “It was.” Snape confessed. “But as you can see I am fine now. “How did you manage that?” Harry asked helplessly leaning himself Snape's strong shoulder. “I don't know how exactly. One day I just gained consciousness because Voldemort didn't come. That was probably the day of his downfall when you received your scar. Thank you for that.” Snape said dryly. “But my actions weren't as heroically as yours. I just got up and somehow managed to apparate to Hogwarts where I hid until I had the opportunity to speak to Dumbledore. I knew he would be the only one who would listen to me and by any chance not kill me immediately. I told Dumbledore everything and together we tried to figure out what happened to me. But we only have theories nothing that we could prove so far or he would tell me.” Snape ended his story swiftly not daring to look Harry in the eye. He mentally prepared himself for a docent of questions and “what ifs.” But Harry just sat next to him, shaking while tears gathered in his eyes. “May I kiss you?” He asked with a quivering voice. Snape couldn't believe what he heard. But he couldn't bring himself to answer. The boy should just have left right away. After a while Snape turned his gaze towards Harry. The boy wiped away his tears but seemed somehow broken as he stood up with shaky legs and went past Snape, trying to hide the swirling storm inside him. Obviously Snape didn't want him anymore. He had lost him and with him everything. He hadn't realized it how much he needed Snape, needed him to keep him sane. With his last bit of dignity left Harry made his way to the door. Thoughts of a quick and easy dead filled his mind. How should he stand up to such a horrible future without Snape? Occupied Severus watched the swift change of emotions on Harry's face. He could clearly make out the despair and death wish which shadowed his boy's beautiful face.

Suddenly Harry could feel a firm hand grabbing his, holding him back. “Don't go.” Severus murmured against his ear. Harry didn't dare to face the man. Inevitably he would start crying if he did. Forcefully Snape turned him around. Harry stared to the ground. He couldn't look at Snape. Never ever again. “Why do you want to kiss me after all?” Snape asked grudgingly. “I love you.” Harry confessed instantly. Snape looked at him shocked. At least he had anticipated those words. “How dare you?” Snape asked suddenly infuriated. “That is my problem.” Harry looked at him through mindful green eyes. “I dare to much.” Snape shook his head as he tried to progress Harry's words. “Explain yourself, Potter” He whispered more to himself. “You are a man of honor and you never pity me. However great my pain is. It is only you who keeps me sane most of the time. Simple as it is: I need you. I always have.” Harry resumed his feelings in a few words. Snape was speechless. What the hell was the boy thinking? It rather sounded like Harry had a crush on him ever since but that couldn't be true. No, he had to end this for the boys sake. “Potter” Snape growled. “I can't hold back forever. I want you to run from me while you still can.” Snape's eyes blazed in deep pitch black. He looked most intimidating than ever. But Harry felt all the more drawn to the man. He inched closer. “I refuse.” He whispered. Snape exhaled sharply. “I shall punish you for every more inch. Snape's voice brushed like silk over Harry. “I want you.” Harry said against Snape's cheek. The other man growled in disdain before he crushed his lips Harry who yelped in surprise. Never Harry had been kissed this fiercely. Never seen such passion on a face. This must be heaven. Snape savored his mouth biting his bottom lip. Then he began kissing and marking Harry's neck. Harry moaned and arched his hips forward, pressing himself against Snape who began touching his cock through his snug pants. “Do you like that?” He growled. Harry just moaned. He wasn't able to speak anymore because his body was burning with desire. The former problems were all forgotten. All what matters was Snape and his sexy voice. Snape squeezed Harry's cock fiercely. “Do you want me to touch you more?” Harry was rock hard by now. He felt like one more softly hissed word of Snape may bring him over the edge. His cock was bursting with need and demanded to be freed. “Please.” Harry gasped. “You will come when I allow you to.” Snape hissed letting go of Harry's prick. Desperately Harry arched closer. “Your voice..” He couldn't talk coherently anymore. Harry just moaned in arousal as Snape's words hit him. “My, my potter, so desperate to come.” Tears gathered in Harry's eyes while he begged for his release. Snape licked them away with his skilled tongue making Harry almost faint. He could feel his orgasm building up. “Please.” He whimpered. “Not yet, Potter.” Snape smirked resuming to torture Harry by touching him. Harry withered. Desperately he tried to hold back. Then he heard Snape's husky voice hissing: “Come for me.” Harry let go in once and he came with a loud cry, a hot spurt of semen filled his trousers and his legs moved in uncontrolled spasm. He would have crashed to the ground if it wasn't Snape to hold him upright. Harry slumped exhausted against him. He could feel the other man embracing him. They stood this way for some time while Harry recollected himself. When Snape found the boy was able to stand on his own again he gave him a quick bite in his ear. Harry jerked up in surprise and backed away from Snape. “What are you doing?” He yelped. “Punishment, Mr Potter.” Snape smirked. “I'd like to be punished more often, sir.” Harry said boldly. “That's what I call a typical Gryffendor issue.” Snape stated. Confused, Harry looked at Snape who wordlessly cast a cleaning charm onto his jeans but said nothing. Done, Snape raised his voice. “We should inform the headmaster.” Harry looked quite shocked at him. “Potter, you just told me there is a crowd of dangerous deatheaters with red marks out there. Why does informing Professor Dumbledore shock you that much?” Snape sneered. Harry felt like an utter fool as he followed his professor towards Dumbledore's office. Outside the door Snape cornered Harry glancing down onto him rather intimidating. “If you want us to stay at Hogwarts you better play along.” Harry nodded nervously. That's was Snape at his best. But unfortunately this exactly aroused Harry most. Snape glanced down at him and sighed. “Really, that is what turns you on, Potter?” He scolded. Snape strode towards the large wooden door which opened itself before him. Harry followed him closely the frightening words still echoing in his mind. Dumbledore stood at the panorama window on the other side of the room. As he heard Snape intruding he turned around beaming at him. “Severus, good to see you. And you brought Harry with you.” Dumbledore said acknowledging. “I hope he is not in any trouble?” Snape frowned at the headmaster but shook his head. “Unfortunately, he is not. Mr. Potter has reported me about some visions he had the last few weeks and I think you ought to know.” Snape drawled bored. “That's kind of you.” Dumbledore smiled. “Please sit down, you two. Do you want some tea?” Harry and Snape both declined the offer and occupied the seats nearest to Dumbledore's desk. “Harry, would you mind telling me about those vision?” Dumbledore asked politely. Harry nodded and began to inform Dumbledore about his dreams. Dumbledore listened attentively and nodded in an adequate manner. As Harry had ended the old wizard seemed quite concerned. “If you are to believe Harry, we are in trouble.” Dumbledore said carefully. “Those creatures you speak of are the most dangerous, not even dementors can be compared to them. We have to be prepared for the worst.” “What are you planning to do?” Harry asked curiously. “I shall inform the government instantly although I doubt they will do something about it.” Dumbledore sighed. “But I will also counsel an order meeting as soon as I can.” The headmaster added at Harry's desperate face. “Headmaster, I have to talk to you in private. Would you mind if the boy leaves?” Snape interrupted unimpressed. Dumbledore gave Snape a questioning look but said to Harry: “I'm sorry. But would you mind to return to your dorm? I am sure Severus wants to discuss a serious matter...” At once Harry jumped of his chair. Almost glad to leave the situation he left the room. Dumbledore exchanged a curious look with Snape as Harry vanished through the door.

Back in the Gryffendor common room, Harry was welcomed by Ron and Hermione who couldn't wait to ask where Harry had been the last three hours. Harry explained them what happened with skipping the most important parts. After all, he had promised Snape.  
At night Harry couldn't sleep again but it wasn't due to some bad dreams. He had a churning feeling in his guts which increased all the more he thought about Snape. Did Snape want him or not? All he could do was thinking about this very question. Although he couldn't sleep because of it he didn't felt like asking Snape either. Today had damaged already to much the fragile bond what grew between them. Dammit. Harry decided he needed to work out and started to wander to the room of requirement secretly hoping to see Snape patrolling those corridors but he didn't. Frustrated he did his training routine. 


	39. Deatheater assemble

Rain dripped of Snape's cloak as he entered Malfoy Manor. The old building seemed to be deserted but Snape knew this wasn't true. It wasn't true either that Snape had lost his position in the dark lord's ranks. Being the professional spy he was it didn't take him long to track down every single one of those deatheaters who tried to escape. Nevertheless he was in a tensed mood as he stormed towards the first assemble he would attend for over a year. Proudly, he walked along the table where his fellow deatheaters were gathered. Without sparing them a single look he knelt down in front of his master. The dark lord, seated on a throne, watched him through faintly red eyes. “My knife, finally you have returned to me.” A high voice hissed. Snape rose his head. “Of course, my lord.” They stared at each other for several moments. Only through his massive willpower Snape managed to keep his impassiveness up. Then the dark lord turned his view away from him. So he was accepted. Tensed, he seated himself to his right causing outraged mutters from the crowd but a single look of the dark lord silenced them all.  
The meeting proceeded in its disturbing kind of normality. The dark lord had some of them report how the battlefronts were doing. Then he had one of them killed who hadn't pleased him obviously. Like always most of them watched the whole even through fearful eyes without daring to move. Severus pitied none of them. They had all chosen this, exactly like him. Inwardly, he prepared himself for the very moment the dark lords attention would rest on him. As the red gleaming eyes were fixed on him and a numbing cold claimed his mind the time had come. “Tell me my knife where you true loyalties lie.” The dark lord ordered after a long silence.  
“With the greatest wizard of all time.” A wicked grin appeared on the lord's thin lips. “I sense a new desire within you. Who is the object you could possibly want? Only his expertise prevented Snape to freak out. “It is.. a schoolboy, my lord.” He uttered bowing his head. Scornful laughter filled the room. The dark lord signified him to come closer. “I want the name.” Stiffly, Snape walked up to his lord and knelt beside him. “Harry Potter.” He said quietly, surprised about his own calm.  
“Hilarious. My knife, you shouldn't be able to feel desire at all to begin with and despite that the first person you let into your rotten heart is, Potter?” The red eyes pierced Snape. It almost hurt.  
The deatheaters laughed. “It is the truth.” Snape said tersely. “My knife, you should be rewarded.” the malicious grin of the lord send chills down Snape's spine. In the long sleeve of his cloak he grabbed his wand tight. “What an honor my lord.”  
“Show me you mark.” Snape hold his other arm out. The robes he wore had a slice so the red skull shew through it telling everyone who he was. Voldemort yanked his arm. “Do you see how remarkable he is? He was the first and yet he is calm and tender although he has finally learned what the word desire does frame. I wish you all to remember him.” Before Snape realized what happened Voldemort pressed his palm into his arm. Immediately the red mark filled out with an unhealthy black. A sudden pain erupted so strong Snape screamed. Then he fell to the ground. “Finish him off, the traitor in our midst.” Before Snape could fathom what had just happened the joyful scream of a woman arose from the crowd. “He is mine.” A green hex Snape missed Snape only inches. Numbly he stumbled to his feet. This was worse. He needed to get out of here. Now. He shrew countered the next spells that hit him and knocked even some deatheaters out. Despite the coldness which gathered within him, seemed to slow him down, dragged him into dangerous black he totally went berserk. He dodged and cast various spells and took one after another down. In a spare second he noticed Voldemort had disappeared. “Damn, coward. He thought.  
He was struck by hex into the chest. He tumbled down. Was this the end? No, if he was going to die here he would take all of them with him. Everyone.  
Snape stumbled upon his feet. He had to keep moving, he mustn't ever stop or otherwise... He had lost orientation among with his wand a while ago. He needed to get out of here. NOW. With a loud crack and his last bits of power he manage to apparate. As soon as he hit the ground he fainted. A welcoming dark was consuming him and he didn't care to go.

* * *

The moment Snape appeared in the middle of his chambers Harry was flabbergasted. Firstly he panicked how he could justify in his professor's chambers but then he realized something was wrong. Snape didn't move. Uncertain, Harry tried to talk to him but Snape didn't reply. Alarmed Harry touched blood covered Severus hoping to find out what was happening. The man was as cold as ice and didn't even breath. Therefore Harry would have thought him dead if there hadn't been a way to slow heartbeat. Panicking, Harry reached out for his magic. He needed to do something. NOW. Or else Severus would certainly die any moment. Desperately he tried to channel his life force into the potionmaster's body. But nothing happened. Pleading tears escaped Harry's eyes. Would should he do? He should call for help. But until Madam Pomfrey would arrive Severus would be dead. With all his might he tried to save Snape, to warm the lifeless body.  
Slowly his vision began to blur. He couldn't say for how long he had been emitting his magic but he had reached his limits and still there was no sign of Severus making it through. He remembered he should call for help but now he was to weak to even lift a finger. He wouldn't make it.  
Suddenly a cough was shaking the body next to him which was followed by many rasping breaths for air. Was he? Was he really? He could hear Severus heart beating faster now. Severus was alive. This fact gave Harry the strength to actually get up from the ground. His whole clothes were itching from something red which covered the whole ground around Snape. Harry breathed in the sharp metallic scent. Just how much blood had the man lost? After a few calming breaths he leviated Snape onto his bed. Then he undressed him prepared to find the worst injuries he could imagine but ironically the potionmaster was fine. Confused Harry simply dressed Snape and put him under the covers. Then, after spelling the room warm because Snape was still way to cold to be possibly alive, he send his patronus to get Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey. That done and due to a short look into the nearby mirror he decided to take a short shower before he had to face the many questions that surely would come.  
As the worried headmaster and the furious Madam Pomfrey arrived Harry had just stepped out of the shower and seated himself next to Snape's bed, his features and story in place. After answering many questions in which state he had found his professor and a dozen times explained his presence in the potionmaster's private chambers he was sent back to Gryffendor tower. However Harry left grudgingly because he really worried about Snape and besides he couldn't sleep anyway.

The next days Snape didn't show up at any meals or lessons. While most of the students really appreciated to live some Snape-free days Harry was worried sick.  
He even tried to visit the man's chambers but he wasn't let in.

* * *

Christmas break was right around the corner. The three friends, the twins, Ginny, and Neville were the only Gryffendors who stayed at Hogwarts over the holidays and since Ron and Hermione had finally found to each other and were far to busy planning their perfect Christmas as a couple, nobody really missed Harry who excused himself early after dinner to try again.  
He was really eager to see Snape after the incident but as he finally stood in front of the portrait of his professor's chambers he hesitated. What if Snape didn't want to see him? What if he was mad at Harry for some indistinct reason? Or why else had he locked the door to Harry? Snape could have contacted him even if he wanted to. Right, if he wanted to.. Harry was still his toyboy this he had made quite clear before term started...  
Deep in thoughts Harry didn't notice the portrait opening and looked rather surprised at the pale face of Snape. “What do you want?” The other man growled. “I need to sleep.” Harry blurted. Annoyed Snape pinched the bridge of his nose. “I take it your nightmares didn't miraculously vanish what would explain your absence of my chambers lately.” Harry looked at Snape quite baffled. “Either way, come in, Potter, before anybody sees you.” Snape let Harry in who marched up til he stood in the middle of his rooms. Snape closed the door shut before he turned around. “I notice you have improved your concealing charms then.” He drawled. “A week without sleeping can be long.” The boy answered softly. “Why did you keep me out of your chambers?” He asked then shivering because Snape traced his jawline with his slender fingers. His touch felt like electricity on Harry's skin who was so absorbed to this sensation he forgot even to breath for some moments. Meanwhile Snape chanted his camouflage away revealing Harry's reddened eyes and hollow cheeks. “Stupid boy, you should really pay more attention to your health even if I am not around.” Snape tried to dodge the question. “I am sorry but I was worried sick about you. By the way how are you?” Harry looked at Severus as if he was searching for something. “Don't change the subject to fast, Potter.” So the old coot had been right. It had been Harry who treated his wounds, who had warmed him as his life was draining away. “I am fine now. You did a great job mending me. You have my thanks.” Snape said sincerely. “It was nothing. Although I will demand a reward.” Harry declared cockily. Snape did his best to hide his smile. That was his insolent golden boy. “Enjoy the time where I can't take point for your insolence. But remember term will start again. Be careful I might take all those points even at the first day.” Snape said evil smirking. “You wouldn't do that, sir?” Harry asked in mild panic. “Well, maybe I will just punish you now.” Snape purred. Harry looked kind of relieved. “Or I will do both.” He smirked and bit in Harry's ear. The boy winced in surprise and slumped against him. “Potter, do you know how hard it is to resist you, to spoil not your innocence?” Snape murmured. “You're such a pervert. “Indeed.” Snape said absently and lifted Harry's chin up to look directly at him. “Maybe it's your eyes that I want to punish you so badly.” Snape said more to himself. Then he added mildly: “Go to bed, Potter.”  
“Not before you kiss me.” The boy said boldly. Snape lifted his chin up wit his slim fingers which felt incredible cool on Harry's hot skin. “Brat.” Snape hissed as his lips met Harry's. This night Harry slept nuzzled to Snape without any disturbance. He couldn't remember being this happy before in his life.

From this day on Harry spent every spare minute in Snape's chambers either reading or studying or sleeping. Sometimes he got the other man to play chess with him but to his frustration to nothing more. But their brief kiss Harry couldn't seduce Snape into anything else what left him pretty mad. Had the other man any interest for him at all? Harry began to doubt their incredible summer in Grimauldplace more and more with every time Snape turned him down. It was nerve wrecking.


	40. Desire

The weekend flew by in a hurry. Harry didn't allow himself to think to much and tried to spent every minute learning. Much to Ron's frustration who felt left out at Harry's long study talks with Hermione.  
On Wednesday they had potions. Harry did his best not to stare on Snape's long and slender finger cutting or dicing ingredients or shiver under the mans silky voice. To everyone's surprise Snape ignored Harry, his most hated student, the entire lesson what caused Dean and Seamus to throw a little party in the Gryffendor common room afterward. “Zero points loss in a potion lesson. I don't know what you did Harry but keep at it.” Ron cheered. Only Harry felt a bit odd. Strangely, he missed being provoked by Snape. He even missed it a great deal. Soon the spontaneous party attracted many visitors like some Rvenclaw girls. Cho was with them and waved at Harry. They talked for a few minutes before the party was interrupted by the sudden entrance of McGonegall who was searching for Harry. “Mr. Potter, I have a message from Professor Snape directed to you. You are to arrive at his chambers this evening at seven.” She informed Harry stiffly. “What for? Do I have detention?” Harry asked her curiously. “He didn't say so but please do as you are requested.” McGonegall answered and turned around to go. “Couldn't you tell him I don't feel like meeting him today?” Harry asked weakly. “I am not an owl.” The professor snapped. “As you are in possession of two functional feet I suggest to go and tell him yourself.” She added sharply before she left the room. “That's professor McGonegall for you.” Ron laughed at Harry who stood there speechless. “But what does the greasy git want from you?” He wondered. “I really don't know.” Harry replied sitting down onto one of the sofas. Suddenly his legs felt quite shaky.

At punctually seven o clock Harry stood in front of the portrait that sealed Snape's chambers. “You may come in.” The sonorous voice of the potionmaster announced. Nervously Harry went in. Snape said behind his desk grading papers, a familiar sight to Harry, who led himself fall onto an armchair immediately. Giving Harry a swift glance Snape rose his voice: “Dumbledore requested me, due to the exceptional circumstances, to continue with our trainings lessons.” Snape gave Harry a long look. Harry's mouth went dry: “What exactly did he say?” “I shall teach you everything I consider appropriate for you to know.” Snape's thin lips turned into a curl. Embarrassed, Harry looked at his bare hands. “Therefore I am in charge for every aspect of you further scholastic career. Be aware that I am to execute every punishment to you now. I want you not to break the rules and endangering yourself by doing so. Besides I won't put up with you slacking off in class and your typical insolence. Every misbehavior will be punished. Is that clear, Potter?” Snape's lips curled into a satisfied sneer. “It turns you on to have all power over me, does it?” Harry spat awkwardly. “Ten points from Gryffendor for insolence, Potter.” Snape replied coolly. “But for your information, it does.” Heavily sighing Harry looked up into the pitch black eyes of his professor. “So what do you plan to do with me now Dumbledore practically sold me to you?” “Potter, that is exactly the misbehavior I am talking about.” The potionmaster snapped raising infuriated from his chair. “Just fuck off Snape I am not yours just because Dumbledore said so.” Harry shouted. In an instant the professor towered above Harry and yanked him up by his hair. Harry cried out in surprise. “It is professor Snape. And no, you were already mine. Remember?” Snape hissed piercing Harry with his obsidian eyes.  
“How come?” Harry asked breathlessly. “ _Those who restrain their desire do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained_.” Snape's lips crashed on to Harry's. The man kissed Harry so fiercely that the boy thought his head might explode. Simultaneously a swelling feeling gathered in his chest. He had done it. He belonged to Snape. The only man in the world who could safe him.  
Touching, feeling, tasting. In a bliss Harry played with Snape's hair, traced the man's elegant features. Heavily breathing they were pressing against each other and Harry could feel Snape's erection indicating the man's interest. “Fuck me.” Harry moaned. He could here Snape chuckle next to him. “Eager, are we?” He growled. As answer Harry rubbed himself against the man. “Please, I want to feel you.” He whispered. “Undress yourself.” Snape ordered curtly. Hastily Harry abandoned his clothes. Then he stood kind of embarrassed in front of Snape who gazed at him. “What a sight you are. Remarkable.” Harry shivered under those words. Then the man leaned down to kiss him long and thoroughly. “I want to cherish you.” Snape lead Harry to his bed. “I haven't heard you scream far to long.” He said in his velvet voice. He had spelled his clothes away revealing his huge, erect cock. Harry eyed him impressed. He had almost forgotten how handsome his professor was. Suddenly Snape was everywhere, biting, sucking, making Harry beg for release. With one skilled push Snape had entered Harry completely causing the brat to yelp in surprise. Soon he found a steady rhythm, hitting Harry's prostate with every push. Harry could do nothing but beg for more. His body was on fire …

… “Don't get to high hopes. The next time we will actually work.” Snape sneered as Harry left whose heart made a little jump at those words. He was fired up. He just needed to work harder to seduce his professor. But this turned out to be a more than difficult task because Snape went all books on Harry. Every time they met Snape lectured him about any topic Harry could possibly think of and even gave him lots of assignments to do or books to read. Secretly Harry didn't mind this as much as he let on but he truthfully would spent his evening rather snogging instead of studying with Snape. Despite the tension concerning potions they went along even at Hogwarts. Although Snape still made cutting comments and went berserk if Harry was behind with his studies. Nevertheless he miraculously managed to make his student enjoy being taught by him. A thing Harry would have bet his broom against once. A thing Harry couldn't believe still. 


	41. Dark patronus

One day Snape took Harry to the forbidden forest directly after potions. As they arrived a secluded clearing far away from the paths Snape kissed Harry so hungrily the Gryffendor allowed himself to think how far they might go this time but his professor had obviously other plans. Gently he pushed Harry away who looked at him kind of disappointed. “I am afraid we have some business to attend to” Snape announced evidently. “Yes, I get it. I am a rampant teenager.” Harry sighed unluckily while he sorted his clothing. “Yes, you are. But nonetheless I have plans for this evening and that is why I brought you here.” Snape informed Harry. “Our goal is to make you ready to face the dark lord anytime and if possible survive.” Harry repressed a shiver. “Therefore we need probably to start from scratch. Tell me, Potter, what do you know about the dark arts?” Harry flinched at the question. He had feared Snape would say just that. “I don't want to hear about those. All they do is harm.” Harry said almost pleadingly. “This proofs once more how little you know.” The potionmaster sneered. “I don't see a reason why I should learn such.” Harry argued. “Because before you can learn how to defend yourself you have to know what you defend.” Snape explained with thinned lips. Harry shook his head defiantly. “Not good enough.”  
“Potter, you are offered the privilege to be taught in one of the greatest magic there is. Many wizards died in the attempt to teach themselves and you of all people receive the sole opportunity not to follow their example, hopefully. So stop whining and behave because I would rather spent my free time to my own asset than to teach a snotty, ignorant Gryffendor.” Snape hissed. “You are such a git. I will never kill people. You can teach all you want but I won't.” Harry yelled. “Quit the nonsense. Snape barked infuriated “If you think the dark arts are limited to such ungraceful acts you are mistaken.”  
“I won't. Goddammit.” Snape yanked the brat up by his sleeve. “You are acting like a child, that can't even grasp the importance of the situation.” “I am not.” Harry struggled to free himself. But Snape's grip only tightened. “We will begin by casting a simple patronus. Show me your famous one. I heard rumors you could pull it of in fourth year.” Snape said leaving the brat barely enough room to grab his wand but to his surprise Harry did nothing of the sort. He just inhaled sharply, rose his suddenly odd gleaming hands in the air and clapped them together. Immediately a beautiful silvery doe escaped his hands and danced around like she was enjoying the forest. At Snape's struck face Harry laughed. “Just for your information. I could already do it in my third.”  
“You impertinent little wretch.” Snape hissed but from the man's smug expression Harry could see he was more than pleased. “How did you even manage without a wand?” The professor questioned then. Astounded Harry looked around to find a suitable explanation which would satisfy his stern teacher. “Magic just happens when I think about it. So I don't use my wand that often if it isn't requested.” He shrugged. Snape could have throttled Potter once more. Like always, he possessed such an extraordinary ability but didn't even think to use it properly. “This will change very quickly.” He fixed Harry with his eyes. “Back to focus now. Do you know what a dark patronus is?” Harry shook his head. Snape did a slack with his wand. A dark creature, a prongs escaped his wand, claimed his way gracefully. Harry had never seen such a powerful spell. “The dark patronus is an image of your whole self. It reflects everything of you. Every good and every bad part. Therefore it is much stronger than the original patronus which consists solely of good.”  
“There has to be a reason why it's dark magic. Tell me.”  
“The dark patronus is incredible powerful. The other one might defend dementors while this one will taunt them and tear them apart. As for every living creature.”  
“Why doesn't the dark lord fight with it?”  
“Almost nobody is able to control or even conjure it because you have to be in conscience with yourself, with every part of you, the light and the dark. The dark lord who has admonished any good within himself isn't able.”  
"I am sure this upsets him a great deal."  
"Oh yes, obviously. But there are other ways to torment. As far as I know he prefers the simplest three.”

Until late in the night Harry practiced to conjure his dark patronus but nothing happened so far. Exhausted and in a bad mood he looked at Snape who sat leaned at a tree a few meters to his right. “You failed you first lesson.” He sneered. “I did what?” Harry looked dazed at his professor. “You heard me.” Snape grunted and got to his feet. “Seems you aren't honest with yourself and I gonna find out why.” The man strode past Harry back to the castle without reassuring himself if Harry was following. They didn't talk much for that evening and Harry was more than glad as he lay in his bed in Gryffendor tower.

For practice they regularly met in the forbidden forest now. Often they spent hours battling on the rough paths or revising spells. But Harry never managed the dark patronus. Much to the dismay of his teacher. 


	42. The subtle art of potionmaking

One day Snape ordered Harry casually to stay behind after potionclass. Anxiously Harry waited his friends to leave because he anticipated Snape would give him another lecture. The man took his time to collect his things while Harry who hadn't left his seat yet watched him curiously. Then Snape locked his eyes with Harry's. “Potter, today we will work on a potion. So if you'd mind following me.” Snape announced. Harry shot him a disbelieving stare. “Sorry, but since when do you tolerate me near your beloved potions?” He asked sarcastically.

“Well, since you scored highest in last years exams and proofed you are actually not that stupid you have earned every right to be my apprentice.” Snape sneered. “I don't want to be your apprentice. Can't you take another?” Harry complained. “No, consider it as part of your training.” Snape said smugly.

“When did the combination of you, me and potions ever turn out well?” Harry started one last attempt. “It will, when you finally use the potential you have.” Snape bit out and went to the door. “Where are you going?” Harry queried. “Such matters need to be discussed in private. Follow me, Mr. Potter.” Snape drawled annoyed. Harry stood up and did as the potionmaster had ordered without another word. Arguing was useless at this point. Inwardly he felt a twinge of proud because his professor had complimented him in his self sufficient and cruel kind.

 

At the professor's Snape handed Harry the daily prophet, a newspaper for wizards. “Did you hold track on the happenings in the wizarding world?” He questioned. “No, hence all they do is publishing lies about me.” Harry declined. “So I thought.” Snape's lips curled into a faint sneer. “Anyway, there have been various attacks on popular wizard families recently and now the ministry has the problem explaining those without to admit the dark lord's return.” He added sourly. Harry skipped through the articles. By a majority of attacks the victims had been found nearly blood drained with various cutting marks. The author assured they were not “You know who” related so often it was almost ridiculous. Harry tossed the newspaper at a near desk. “It was them, wasn't it?” Snape nodded. “The headmaster and I believe so.” He said dryly. “God, this can't be happening. He can't start to kill innocents now. I am not ready.” Harry cried desperately. “Yes, but til you are you can do your best to minimize damage by assisting me.” Snape tried to calm him. “Right.” Harry gave the man an unsure look. “What do you have in mind?” Snape pointed at the wrinkled newspaper. “You can help me to stop the snakeman by inventing an antidote against the snakemen created.” He explained. So this had been Snape's plan from the beginning. “You can do that?” He asked before he could think any better. “Potter, I am not the youngest potionmaster for over a century for nothing. And I dare say I am quite informed with the case.” His professor reminded Harry who stared at him wide eyed. “I am sorry. I forgot. I promise I will do my best.” The boy stuttered. Satisfied Snape went to his desk and fetched a parchment. “This document is our status quo. It contains a description of the rite the dark lord and I invented and also ideas for the antidote but the problem is we do know nothing about the knew rite. Therefore we can just assume the dark lord developed it based on the old one. I expect you read this before we start.” Snape announced and handed the paper to a flabbergasted Harry. Then he purred himself a glass of gin and seated himself at his favorite armchair. Meanwhile Harry still watched him struck. “Don't make me regret my choice.” Snape commanded angrily. This set Harry in motion who let himself fall onto the couch and started reading immediately.

It took the next three days for Harry to read through Snape's notes. He had told his suspicious growing friends he was taking remedial potions with Snape because he kept staring at those notes day and night.

A week later Snape ordered Harry again to stay behind after class. “Are we brewing here today?” Harry asked eagerly. “That depends. But either way we won't stay here because my laboratory is far better.” The potionmaster clarified. Harry thought he must have somehow offended Snape's pride as potionmaster. “Okay, let me just fetch something.” Harry said leaving the room hurriedly. He made a quick decision. In order to fasten their progress he would reveal one of his greatest treasures to Snape. Maybe he would learn more this way...

Later Harry went to Snape's private lab where he had never been before. Impressed, he watched Snape work in deep concentration. He used to enjoy watching the other man work quite much in class. The precision of his long, slim fingers, the concentrated expression on his face, even the way his hair fell in long strands into his eyes. Of course, Harry would never admit that to anyone.  
Finally Snape noticed Harry. “You may come in.” He sneered to the boy who was still standing at the door frame. “What an honor to enter your sacred lab, finally.” Harry said sarcastically. Snape shot him a dark glare. “I always thought a potion lab had to be gloomy, messy and cold.” Harry muttered eying the well lit, cleaned up and warm room. The potionmaster just shot him another sinister look which made Harry shut up.  
Carefully Harry lay the book he had brought onto the desk standing nearby and pointed at a receipt for a potion where many changes had been made with different kinds of ink. “What do you think about this one, sir?” He asked shyly. “Where. Did. You. Find. This. Book, Potter?” Snape hissed who looked suddenly much paler than he usually did. “What's wrong with the book? There are many useful things written in it.” Harry defended his treasure shocked. “I don't doubt that.” Snape snorted. “But I asked you where you did find this.” The professor roared. “Well,” Harry stuttered, “I did find it at Hogwarts.” “Oh, there's no doubt about that either.” Snape sonorous voice sounded dangerously close to the edge. “Then why are you asking?” Harry wanted to know, unable to move anymore because Snape seemed to radiate with anger. “Did you ever find out who the halfbloodprince is?” Snape's voice was cutting. “Well, I tried to look it up. “Harry offered. “I even had Hermione to do so. But we didn't find out much. Only some traces.” “Like what?” Snape asked staring menacingly at Harry.  
“First, the writer was probably a halfblood due to the name. Second, the writer went to Hogwarts probably over twenty years ago due to the publishing date of the book. Thirdly, the writer was probably a male Slytherin because of the way he wrote. There is nothing particular to underline this but the way the S are formed and so on... they remind me of Zabini or Malfoy.” Snape trailed his thin lip with his index finger. “Fascinating.” Easily his tone could match sarcasm but Harry knew his professor didn't mean to this time. Harry said nothing just stared in Snape. He had hoped to trigger some reaction of the man. But Snape didn't give himself away as usual. Therefore Harry pointed onto the potion receipt. “So, what do you think?” Harry repeated his former question. “Well, the potion would make an interesting addition to my ideas but as it is it will never work.” Snape looked challenging at the boy who nodded as if he understood. “Yeah, you are right there. Then how about this?” He flipped to a paper which lay loose in the book. “What you mind having a look onto this as well?” Snape snatched the paper from the boy and scanned through it.  
“Well, Potter, as I hate to admit it, this could possibly work so far. But there is still a major weak point. What are you going to do about it?”  
“I have no clue.” Harry admitted deliberately. “But you as potionmaster could probably figure it out easy going.” Snape looked furious at Harry. “Never I wanted to take points from you for your insolence that badly but also award you.” He sad sourly what made Harry snicker. “You can leave now.” Snape announced absently while he reread the page. Harry took his treasured book and left frustrated without another word.

* * *

 

The whole next month Snape and Harry exchanged ideas for the potion. Frequently they met to talk about new approaches or ingredients in Snape's lab but they never actually brewed. While their meetings Harry tried his best to show his professor his knowledge about potions. This pissed Snape off a great deal because the brat had never been worse in his lessons. He still couldn't understand why Harry needed to be so desperately stupid in his of all classes. Not that Snape did mind berating Harry all the time. In fact he enjoyed to see the brat struggle.

It was late autumn when the potionmaster finally permitted his apprentice to actually help him brew.  
Although Snape just told Harry to prepare some ingredients it meant a lot to Harry. Meanwhilehis teacher sat down on a table and began writing something down. Thoughtfully the student began to prepare the ingredients. He tried to focus on his work and not Snape who sad across the room and looked kind of breath taking while with his stern expression. Eventually Snape glanced towards Harry to make sure the boy didn't endanger himself like he often did in class. But today he seemed alright.  
Harry forced himself to keep concentrated. He had the feeling he better did not screw this up.  
“How are you doing, Potter?” Harry nearly jumped because Snape's low voice was far to close, right behind him. Harry cringed. “I'm nearly done.” He tried to back off. Snape was standing far to close to him. “Mix them with one of these.” Snape hold out his hand in which he hold some kind of black stones. “What are they?” Harry eyed them curiously. “Just put them in. I'll explain later.” Snape handed Harry two of them. “This will suffice.” Carefully Harry hold them into the light to have better view. Then he carefully put them into the jar with the diced asphodel root, then handed it to Snape who put it into the nearby cauldron. “You are really the halfblood prince, aren't you?” Harry said admiringly watching the display of colors in the cauldron with amazement. “That shall remain my secret.” Snape sneered. Harry shrugged and stared at the cauldron for a very long time before he said: “You know, it is strange for any moment I hate you I always admire you because of your cunning at the same time. But now, if you have really written this book, I think you have to be a true genius. It helped me a lot in the past. Thank you.” Snape embraced him from behind what was a rare thing to do for him. “I may vomit.” He said in his velvet voice. “But probably you are just a greasy old git who is presumptuously the famous halfbloodprince.” Harry threw Snape an offended look. “You are sailing preciously close to the wind, Potter.” Snape bit softly his ear. “Maybe I should punish you a little.” Harry shook his head him in confusion. “Why? For helping you?”  
“Indeed why? Maybe because it is so hard to resist you and not to spoil your innocence any further.” Snape murmured against Harry's ear. “Or maybe it is because of your beautiful eyes.” Snape absently lifted Harry's chin up to look directly at the boy. “You are such a bastard why do even bother to always play so noble?” Harry asked infuriated. “Habit.” Snape sneered before he parted the boy's lips and kissed him thoroughly. 


	43. Christmas-Smut

The months melted away and so did the ignorance of Harry's friends about him spending way to much time with Hogwarts' most hated teacher. Harry had to tell his friends even he needed remedial potions with Snape to pass the exams just to shut them up. Fortunately, because everybody followed his and Snape's ongoing fights nobody questioned this but pitied him instead. Only his best friends knew they were going to complete the antidote against the snakemen. They pitied him, too, because he would spent Christmas at Hogwarts and additionally had to see Snape over the holidays but they understood the potion needed to be finished as soon as possible. They deliberately ignored the fact Harry probably wouldn't been allowed to leave school anyway due the danger he was in.  
Harry found he played the role of a depressed teenager who had to stay in school quite well although it was hard on him because he inwardly bounced of happiness. He would spent his holidays with Snape. Again.  
At Christmas dinner Harry sat like accidentally next to Snape who ignored him passionately although Harry accidentally touched him way to often.  
Over the months Harry had become more confident around the man and so he went straight down to the dungeons where he knocked on Snape's door right after the feast. The man opened him with a grim expression on his face and a drink in his hand. “Potter.” He said as a kind of greeting. “Who thought I would have to put up with you so soon again? What do you want?” The annoyed face of Snape made Harry's new found confidence waver. He had been sure the man liked his accompany now or at least had grown used to it. He needed a few seconds to gather himself causing his professor to raise a questioning eyebrow at him. “I don't have all day.” He drawled. Harry took his last bit of Gryffendor courage and uttered “ _Ihopedwecouldspentchristmastogether.Wouldyoumindif_ _icomein?”_ in once breath. Ah, how much Snape liked to see the cocky Gryfffendor boy this nervous and flushed. He took some moments to stare impassively at the brat who became even more red. “Fine.” Snape agreed finally and stepped aside to let Harry in. The boy let out a deep sigh. Snape purred himself another drink and went back to his armchair. Harry looked around the well decorated room. Even a Christmas tree was there. “'Didn't know you were into Christmas this much.” Harry said while he slumped onto the sofa next to Snape's chair. “The elves decorated it.” Snape commented and took another sip of his drink. “What do you want?” The professor asked coolly. “First, like everybody else I was curious how you spent your Christmas and second, I wanted to be with you.”  
“Can't wait to be humiliated by me again or with what other excuse did you come here so that I fuck you?” Snape hissed grimly. Harry stared at the potionmaster in shock. “That's not it.” He denied. “I just wanted to talk to you.”  
“What for?”  
“Hell, you are really difficult to handle when you're drunk.”  
“I am not drunk yet. Plus, five points from Gryffendor for language, Potter.”  
“Fine. You are always difficult so handle but this didn't alter my opinion about you.”  
“That is?”  
“I would really like to play a game of chess with you or two.” Harry said with a smile because he knew he had won. At the look of the potionmaster he added: “We could even talk about potions or any despicable topic if you want to. I won't mind.” The potionmaster took a sip from his glass and waved his hand. Suddenly a chessboard appeared on the table in front of them. “I prefer black, so you are left with white.” Harry who wasn't surprised by Snape's choice nodded.  
After his professor had purred himself his fifth drink for the evening they began to play. As anticipated Snape was an excellent player but so was Harry. Well, maybe not as good but enough to force his professor to play seriously after a while. Nevertheless the result was a defeating four to one after five matches. Harry who lay comfortable nestled on the couch now watched Snape lazily who stared back interested. He could understand why everyone like the boy now. Harry was polite but direct. He never lost his good humor and took every cutting remark of Severus with grace. As he had drunk the whole bottle they were at their seventh game.  
“Ah, I nearly forgot.” Harry suddenly said. “I have a present for you.” Snape shot him an annoyed glance but Harry ignored it as he reached into his pocket to fetched the shrunk package. As he had transformed it back to its original size he handed it Snape with a cheerful grin. “What is it?” Severus asked taken aback. “Nothing, really. Just open it.” Snape unwrapped the present until a mirror came in his view. “You give me a mirror?” He asked irritated while he debated if he should feel insulted. “Well, kind of.” Harry admitted. “But it's special. You will now when you look at it.” Snape gave the mirror another glance. Then he paled. “What do you see?” Harry asked. “Nothing.” The professor muttered. “What kind of wicked mirror is this?” Harry hid a grin. “It is a duplicate of the mirror of Erised. It shows you your innermost wish.” Snape looked at the mirror once more trailing his bottom lip absently with his index finger. Then he turned his gaze back to Harry. “What do you see when you look into the mirror?” Harry tried his best to hid a smile as he answered. “I see you.” The surprised look on the potionmaster's face was priceless to Harry. “Since when?” He whispered. “Third year. Back then I thought it was your reflection or the mirror was broken or else.” Snape shot him a half smile. “But this one isn't broken?” Harry shook his head. “I asked Lupin. The first one isn't either.” Snape couldn't believe what Harry was telling him. For everything the mirror could have shown the boy it had to be him? It was hard for him to accept this but then there was his image...  
Meanwhile Harry had nearly dosed of so he was a bit startled as the potionmaster told him he had a present for him, too. He fetched a little falcon out of his robes and gave it Harry. “What is it?” The boy asked curiously. “This is a sight enhancing potion. It will fix your eyes permanently so you don't need to wear glasses anymore.” Snape explained. Harry's head shot up suddenly he didn't feel sleepy anymore. “Really? It must have cost a fortune.”  
“If you can't accept it still consider it as a training supply. Your eyesight, as one of your disadvantages, needed to be fixed anyway otherwise they would have become an obstacle sooner or later.”  
Harry nodded moved to tears. “Well, thank you. This is awfully nice of you.” Snape's mouth twitched slightly but he managed to keep his impassiveness. “Where did you get it? I heard it's a super rare potion.” Harry asked. The potionmaster just glared at him. “May I remind you of who I am?”  
“So you brewed this?”  
“I am not a potionmaster for nothing, Potter.”  
“It sure has its perks.” Harry mused leaning over to place a soft kiss on the other man's cheek.


	44. The man who haunted his dreams and nightmares

Harry spent the remaining holidays secluded in Snape's chambers. First the other man was occupied such actions would reveal their liaison but he soon realized there was no one who cared because almost everyone had left the castle which was rare. People knew hard and dangerous times were coming and therefore everyone wanted to spent Christmas with their loved ones at home. Harry didn't even have had a hard to time to convince his best friends to see their families over the holidays which would left him all alone. That means not as alone as one might think because he didn't plan to leave Severus rooms. He wanted to be snuggled next to his lover forever. Of course his professor complained as soon as he realized what the brat was doing but he gave it up quickly. Grimly he noticed how much he had grown used to Harry.

* * *

 

After the holidays when Harry had needed to return to Gryffendor tower they were close to finish the antidote which lifted Snape's usual bad mood a little but did the contrary with Harry. Snape noticed the student became more and more tense, stopped eating and was kind of restless. One evening as Harry had asked for the dozenth time when the potion would be ready the potionmaster had have enough. “Potter. What is your problem?” Harry shot him an anxious look before he fixed his eyes on the cauldron with the potion again. “I asked you something.” Severus bit out. He hated when he was ignored. “Nothing.” Harry said quickly as he realized the mood his professor was in. ““Then why do you keep asking when the potion is ready? You know it is ready. It just needs to be tested.” Anger welled up inside Harry. “Why don't we just test it now. There are hundreds of turned deatheaters who are killing innocents. Why are we waiting?” Harry's voice cracked. “You know perfectly well it is to much of a risk to reveal ourselves now because if we fail our whole work will mean nothing.” Severus said calmly. “There are people dying everyday just because we don't get our shit together.” Harry shouted. “Why doesn't anyone do something but wait? I am sick of it. All we need is a snakeman to test it on.”  
“If waiting doesn't suit you we could test it on me.” Snape offered soberly. Harry felt like he was hit in the face. “I don't mean you. Anyone but you.” He groaned. “See? No you are the one who is unreasonable. Why should we wait at all? You can inject me the antidote now.” Snape hissed. Harry glared at him annoyed. “You know you would die if I did that don't you?” He spat. “Of course, I do. Anything to atone to my sins.” Snape sighed. Harry turned his head away. “I would never let you die. But if you would just let me help. I know the snakeman are trained to chase my scent. We could use this to figure out a plan to capture one and-” But Snape interrupted him quickly. “We have been through this already. It is just to much of a risk for you.” Harry shot him a furious glare. “Why? Because I am the damn boy who lived? I don't care. I can't revive anyone who died for me. So to hell with it.”  
“I won't let you kill yourself.”  
“Why not?”  
“Harry, you don't value your own live. You let me treat you like shit. You deeply crave it sometimes. And now you are angry because I forbid you to kill yourself. You need to gain reason again. Please, believe me what you are asking is insane.” Severus tried to calm Harry. “So what? Maybe I am not sane because I am drawn to you who is obviously the greasiest git of all time. But there are hundreds of people dying because of me, just because I haven't killed Voldemort yet. We have the antidote. Why don't you let me do the right thing, dammit?” Severus let out another deep sigh. “That is just as well, Potter," said Snape coldly, "because you are neither special nor important, and it is not up to you to decide how to kill people properly."  
"No- that's your job, isn't it?" Harry shot at him.  
He had not meant to say it; it had burst out of him in temper. For a long moment they stared at each other, Harry convinced he had gone too far. But there was a curious, almost satisfied expression on Snape's face when he answered.  
"Yes, Potter," he said, his eyes glinting. "That is my job."  
After an awkward silence Snape said softly: Please, behave yourself and wait for orders.”  
“That's unfair. I want to help. If you could just permit it!” Harry said stubbornly.  
“Endangering yourself wouldn't help at all. You are such a sentimental child forever whining about how bitterly unfair your life has been. Well, it may have escaped your notices but life isn't fair.”  
“I am sure you know that, in fact you frequently see to it.” Harry screamed and stormed out of the laboratory.

* * *

 

The next days all his attempts to sneak out the castle failed. Snape managed to catch him every time. With the increasing number of vain efforts Harry became more and more furious. Soon every potion lesson turned out to be a fight in which Harry attacked his professor verbally while Snape pretended Harry didn't exist. The other students' tension was suffocating. Every of Harry's assaults caused them to shiver in fear about the stern potionmaster's reaction but Snape ignored his most hated student passionately.  
It was the day after Harry's 17th attempt- Neville fainted on a regular basis now during their lesson and the whole class watched the ongoing battle with held breath- when Harry just couldn't stand it anymore. Snape was still millions away from giving in and the antidote still from being tested and people were still dying. But the worst thing was: Harry could do nothing about it because he was held hostage. At this rate he was going mad. He felt like hitting his professor who didn't care about him anyway. So it was more subconsciously when he stood up and went to the front where Snape stood and hold his lecture. Harry just stared at him for a moment then he took the ring of his finger and threw it at the man while he shouted. “Fine, I give up. You are the worst person in the world. Even worse than Voldemort. Do you even care if people die? I can't even stand seeing you. I am out of this hell.” Then he left the room and a speechless Snape behind.  
After that day Harry didn't try to escape anymore but he didn't show up for potions either. He was a bit nervous though how Snape would react if he ditched classes but the professor hadn't displayed any reaction to his outburst. So he thought it would be fine.  
Not long after the next potion lesson, which they had last for the day he met up with scared Ron and Neville who looked even more pale than usual in the common room. “He demands your presence at our next lesson.” Ron told agitatedly Harry who suddenly felt cold. “Besides ordered me to tell you that he wants to have you a little longer. Whatever this means.” Ron addedwhile looking curiously at his best friend. “What the hell is happening between you two? First he berates you even for the tiniest things and then he shouts at you on regular basis, then he ignores you and now he wants you back in his classroom.Can you please tell me what's going on?” Harry shook his head. It was hard on him not to tell his best friend but explaining all the crazy shit that was going on was harder. “Are you sure you want to skip potions? Neville interrupted them. “Snape is really getting scary. He did nothing all lesson but stalk around and take randomly points- even from his beloved Slytherins. You have to believe me.” Harry shook his head vehemently. “No, I am sorry but I can't come back. I am sure he will calm down eventually.” Neville let out a desperate huff. “Mate, I can't force you but I believe he can. I hope he doesn't eat you alive.”  
Although most of the Gryffendors pleaded Harry to attend their next lesson on Monday Harry skipped potions once more.  
After that very lesson Neville rushed past him crying and Ron looked like he had seen a ghost or something. “What happened?” Harry asked occupied. “Snape totally went berserk.” Ron huffed before he let himself fall onto his bed. “He took nearly five hundred housepoints from Gryffendor and Slytherin as well. He is going crazy. He said if you don't show up next time he will come and drag you there.” Ron muffled into his pillow. “Really?” Harry asked shocked. An icy feeling churned in his stomach. “It was the scariest thing I have ever seen. I don't believe Voldemort himself could be that frightening.” Neville piped from behind his curtains. “Are you sure mate you still want to ditch potions?” Ron asked looking pleadingly at Harry. “Yes. I am sorry but I have my reasons.” Harry said firmly.  
And so he didn't went to the third potion lesson on Wednesday although everybody even the Slytherins nagged him to do so. A nauseous feeling caught Harry as he waited for the lesson to be finally over. He really was anxious although he didn't let on so on the outside. As the minutes passed uneventfully Harry allowed himself to ease a bit. Maybe Snape didn't mean what he said? The thought of the potionmaster chasing him into his bedroom seemed ridiculous to him. After a while he decided he could -instead of pointlessly sulking- get some work done. He needed to forward his potion studies- now that he didn't attend the lessons- because he still planned to take the NEWT's in this very subject. He had just opened his book as he heard someone emerging the steps to his dorm. Harry froze. No that couldn't be. The door flew open and Snape stormed into the room, his black robes billowing behind him. “Potter, move yourself into my classroom in an instant or I promise you will deeply regret it.” Snape roared. Harry shot his professor a calculating look who yanked him up by his sleeve and pressed him against the nearby wall. “How dare you ignore my orders, you insolent little wretch. I will teach you a lesson you will most certainly never forget.” Snape barked. The potionmaster looked like he was about to tear Harry apart on the spot. Nevertheless the student tried to sound unimpressed. “No. I won't let you treat me like this anymore. Please. remove yourself.”  
“Getting cocky now, are we?” Snape's voice was nothing more than a low whisper. “Whats wrong with you that you don't care if people are dying? You are a bad person. I don't want to see you anymore. Go away.” Harry flared up.  
“I am a deatheater. I have killed lots of people. You could have guessed that. But although you obviously don't know anything about me you made a promise. I know it was unthinkably and in the heat of the moment but you still bound yourself to me.” On the potionmaster's lips played a self sufficient sneer.  
“I did never such thing. If you'd been honest with me even for a second I'd run away straight. I swear.” Snape even inched closer to Harry. “Remember what you promised me back then?” Harry shook his head defiantly. “You vowed I could have you whenever I want you. And I want you now.” Harry looked at his professor wide eyed because the man began touching his cock through his pants. “That's right, Potter. I am going to take you now- in your own bedroom- and there is nothing you can do about it.” Harry tried to free himself out of the potionmaster's grip but it was futile.  After a long look at Harry's growing erection Snape added. “It is ridiculous how your are most horny you when you hate me.” Snape licked a bit Harry's ear causing the young man to wither against him. “Stop it.” He moaned. “That sounds convincing.” Snape muttered and pressed his erect cock against Harry's stomach causing Harry's breath to become ragged.  “I love how you mind tells you to despise me while your body craves me.”  
“Please. Go away.” Harry managed while he pushed his hips forward against Snape. “I love seeing you hate yourself” Snape grabbed Harry's cock. Tears shot into Harry's eyes. As he tried painfully to will his erection down. “Please. Professor. I want.” He moaned. “Tell me what you desire.” Snape pumped Harry's erection until he was sure the boy was close from coming. “Please.” Harry whined desperately. Snape withdrew his hand at once and pushed Harry onto his bed instead. Seconds later he had entered his student balls deep. Harry let out a surprised scream and clenched his muscles together so that he was super tight and caused Snape almost to come instantly. But the older man wanted to ride this out with every pound. With every hit Harry begged. He didn't know if for more or less. His sinful pleas turned Snape on even more and soon they both came almost simultaneously in a hot and short spurt. While Harry slummed to his bed in deep exhaustion Snape didn't loose any time. He tugged his cock away and then he grabbed the half dressed Harry by his ear. “You are coming with me now.” The boy was still too far away with his thought to realize what Snape was about. He noticed his teacher's doing when they where at the door. “What are you-?” But Snape interrupted him. “You have class now.” He said and pulled Harry who still tried to free himself all the way down to the dungeons. “I will never notice you not attending another of my lessons, is that clear?” The potionmaster said before he opened the door to his classroom and pushed Harry in.  
Twenty nine heads turned around as Snape and Harry entered the room. Harry almost wondered if he really looked as fucked as he felt and what his classmates were thinking but nobody dared to say a word because Snape continued his lecture as if nothing had happened at all. Harry whose butt hurt like hell racked his head how Snape could seem that composed so soon after cumming.  
Well, the end of the story was that Harry attended every single potionclass now out of fear his professor might ravish him again and Snape ignoring him as he did for weeks now. Back to normality as you can say. By the way, Harry found his ring later that day in the front pocket of his trousers. Snape must have put it there which let a little hope flare in Harry's chest but he mustn't forget what had happened. No, he would avoid Snape at all costs even if it killed him. So he didn't put the ring back on. Forgetting the man wasn't easy. Often he spaced out just to think about Snape or stare at him in lessons. But each time hate and hurt welled up inside him and reminded him every fucking time that he should forget.  
The nights were worst. The thoughts of what had occurred right here, in his bedroom, kept Harry of sleep. And if he slept he dreamed it. And although he hated himself for those dreams deep inside he craved those.  
So the term neared its end without Harry really realizing it. He planned to stay at the Weasleys over summer though. But this didn't keep him from falling into a deep depression. _What should he about the man who haunted his dreams and nightmares?_


	45. The weddingday

Harry was just to glad when he and Hermione arrived at the burrow where the whole Weasley family was assembled because the oldest Weasley, Ron's brother Bill, would marry his girlfriend, Fleur, in a few weeks. Of course there were many things needed to be done until then and Harry appreciated he could be of help because being busy set his thoughts aside from his sorrows. There was so much work to be done and he was so focused to divert his attention he didn't notice how his dreams changed. First he was happy that he didn't dream about Snape anymore and thought it resulted of him being over Snape but soon things got a little weird. He heard a voice when he slept. At least that was what he remembered. One high pitched voice giving commands which became more and more cruel. Harry instantly recognized it was Voldemort he was listen to night after night. This upset him a great deal because he didn't know if what he heard happened for real or if he was going nuts. The wedding preparations proceeded and Harry became more and more restless because of his visions. Now he even had them when he was awake now sometimes. Of course he knew he needed to talk to someone about them. But since the one person he would actually consider telling this proofed to be an evil man he didn't know to whom. There was Dumbledore for sure. But he didn't want the headmaster to think he had become crazy if this kind of visions weren't real. The same applied for his friends. He debated talking to Lupin but he was still with Sirius fighting at the front so this was out of question, too.

Finally the wedding-day came and many guests arrived with them. Fleurs family, Xenophilious Lovegood, Victor Krumm, the Longbottoms, every single relative the Weasleys had and they were already enough to fill the church completely, Dumbledore and McGonegal happily together, Tonks, Lupin and Sirius, the famous writer Gilderoy Lockhart, Madam Maxime and Hagrid and many many others.  
The festivities lasted till late into the night and even Harry had have a fine day. There was so much love in the air, as well as happiness and perfection. Something needed to go wrong and this was- well, him. The spouses had just left late in the night when it happened. Harry was at his third glass fire whiskey and talked with Gabrielle, the attractive young sister of Fleur. But during their talk he just looked once too often over to Snape who was talking in his usual grim fashion to Lockhart. Suddenly he heard the peculiar voice again. Unfortunately, now ten times louder. Harry suppressed the urge to cover his ears because this would have seemed strange and not to forget useless. Surely the vision would stop eventually but it didn't. Instead it even got worse with every minute. Finally Harry couldn't sustain it anymore. He debated apparating back to the burrow and go to bed very quickly just in the second when he felt like his head might explode. He sacked to his knees. The pain was overwhelming. The last thing he heard was the strident scream of Gabrielle. Then he fainted.  
Snape was at Harry's side before any of the other guests realized what was going on. He checked the boy's vital signs and found them all working. Then he debated what he should do. He had a fair idea what Harry went through right now. Supposedly the dark lord lost his control. This was a worse sign. The dark lord only lost control when his power was at its highest. Last time the dark lord had possessed so much power he gave Harry visions about his plans while he slept. Severus didn't want to imagine what it meant if Harry was molested by them even while he was awake.  
Dumbledore had hurried to Harry's side as well by now and exchanged with Severus a worried look. “Albus, the boy needs to be taken care of. By that I mean he needs to be watched constantly.” Albus nodded in understanding. “Then I suggest you bring him to the hospital wig. Madam Pomfrey should be back from her vacation now.”


	46. Dumbledore's talent

As Harry woke up he didn't knew where he was or what had happened. Sleepily he looked around to recognize the familiar hospital wig. So he was in Hogwarts. But how had he come here? What had happened? He needed some moments to gather his thoughts. So he fainted due to another vision... but this didn't explain why he was here. A stifled cough to his right made him notice the presence of the headmaster. “Good evening, Harry. Good to see you finally awake. How do you feel?” Dumbledore greeted him. Harry took a moment to check if his body hurt. “No. I am perfectly fine.” He smiled. “That's good news. Then I will tell Madam Pomfrey she can send you off as soon we are finished talking. Because to honest I am here to discuss some delicate matter with you.” The old wizard explained. “Sure, what do you want to talk about, sir?” Harry asked interested. “Most about what happened at Bill's and Fleur's wedding. Professor Snape told me you had with high probability some kind of vision.” Harry nodded. “That's right I guess.”  
“Did that happen before?” The headmaster questioned worried. “Well, to be true, yes, it has.” Dumbledore nodded. “Are they like those you had when the snakemen appeared?”  
“Much or less. This time I just heard what Voldemort was doing. More like he was directly in my head. Last time I just dreamed what he saw.” Harry explained. Dumbledore nodded tentatively. “I don't think their riskiness equal their purpose. Maybe we should do something against them to secure your safety.” Dumbledore said after a while to Harry who eyed him suspiciously. “I don't know. We learned about the snakemen through such a dream after all.” The young man argued. “You got a point there and I appreciate your effort to help the order. I really do. How would you like if we would arrange some middle way?” Dumbledore offered. “Yeah, sure. What are you thinking of?” Harry asked eagerly. “Well, I thought maybe you could master Occlumency, a unique art, which is used to defend the mind.” Dumbeldore's eyes twinkled joyfully. “I myself learned this art at a young age and I can tell you it only has benefit me so far.” Harry beamed at him. “That's sounds amazing. I ever wanted to learn it but since it is needs to be taught by a master I never had the chance.”  
“Well, your time hast come. I have talked to professor Snape he will teach you if you are willing.” Harry must have made a face because he added: “I know your relationship to professor Snape always has been rough, but I hope you two can get past your differences.” Dumbledore smiled expectantly at Harry whose expression fell even more. “But why does it have to be Snape? Surely you can teach me.” Harry muttered disappointed. “Professor Snape, Harry. And he is the very best. Please do me the favor and trust me. This is the best solution, I am sure.” The headmaster twinkled while Harry threw a murderous glance at him. How could he possibly survive this? Of course, Dumbledore who was as far from acknowledging Snape as evil wouldn't notice what an utter bastard this man was. “A lemon drop for you?” Dumbledore asked kindly, offering Harry a plate with sweets. “No thank you.” Harry replied. “Then I shall take my leave. You will meet professor tomorrow morning at his chambers.” Dumbledore announced. Harry clenched his fists and nodded while cursed in what trouble he had gotten himself into.


	47. Occlumency

The next morning Harry knocked Snape's office door. His heart beat as fast as if he was in second year again as he had blown of Snape's lab. But this time was different. Last time he had survived. “You may come in.” He heard the sonorous voice of his professor just as the door opened itself. Hesitantly Harry entered the room. “Mr. Potter, what a surprise to see you coming back to me.” Snape rose from his seat and took a menacing step towards Harry. “Dumbledore kind of forced me to.” Harry said defiantly. “Oh, I bet he did. Now down to the floor.” Snape's voice was as cools as ice. Harry glanced at Snape in utter loath. “You want me to do what?” He asked carefully suppressing his rage. “On the ground, Potter, or leave.” In Snape's eyes were absorbed by an empty cold and his face was wiped of all emotions. Harry took a step towards the man. His green eyes blazing with raging fire. He would fight him. Show this greasy bastard his place. He opened his mouth, then closed it. Snape towered above him, piercing him, tearing him apart. The radiating cold overwhelmed Harry. Desperately Harry wanted to scream, to trash the man, to free himself from the ban. But it was hopeless. The only word which left his mouth was an intimidated: “Please.” Snape looked at him in disgust. “I told you to sit.” He spat.  
Harry knelt down on the cold stone floor to the mans feet, his eyes fixated at his curled hands in his lab. So Snape wouldn't see the tears in them. He had lost. How could he win? How could he submit to that man? “I see you have learned to behave yourself.” Snape said going back to his desk. A heavy silence followed in which Harry only heard his hitched breath echoing loudly in the silent office. He didn't know for how long he was here already. What could easily be an hour felt like an eternity to him. His whole body ached already due to his uncomfortable position and he forcibly suppressed the urge to shiver nervously. He had come to Snape only because Dumbledore told him to and Snape had made him submit effortlessly. Harry knew the man wasn't any forgiving. He had just ordered Harry on his knees and wouldn't allow him to move til he was satisfied. Furthermore he was eying Harry like he was his prey. For Harry sitting here and being stared at was pure torture. His cock stiffened more and more with any minute. How he'd love to stand up and speak up to the bane of his existance. But he knew how strict Snape could be. He had just this chance to make things right. He couldn't screw up.

  
Severus couldn't believe what a beautiful display he was offered. Harry on his knees begging his professor to take him. He decided he had enjoyed looking long enough, he wanted to touch, to feel. Harry heard Snape standing up by the ruffling sound of his robes. He was curious. What was Snape up to. He heard the man circling him, probably to stare at him from all angles. Suddenly a strong hand jerked up his chin. “Stand, Potter.” A husky voice commanded. Harry followed that hand. Standing right before the potionmaster he looked in his vast black eyes. Snape still had his hand on Harry's cheek and began to caress him. Harry forced himself to keep quiet and look the man straight in the eye. “Tell me, Potter, what do you want me to do?” Snape said softy. “I want you to-” Harry broke into a moan because Snape touched his hard cock. “Say it, Potter.” Snape demanded. “I-I want you to fuck me.” Harry groaned thrusting his hips into Snape's touch. “Still no control there, Potter?” Snape purred leaning forward to whisper in Harry's ear: “Bent over the desk.” Harry let down is pants with trembling fingers. His hot blood was rushing through him. He could feel Snape's coldness from behind, his erection pressing against his buttocks. Ready to enter him. Simultaneously Snape grabbed Harry's cock and squeezed it hard. Harry cried out in surprise because Snape just pushed into him without any warning. The young man screamed in pain and trashed against the desk but Snape caught him in his firm grip. “This time there will be no nice.” He hissed as he was thrusting into Harry at immense speed hitting his prostate with every movement. Harry begged for his release incoherently. He felt so full. But all Snape wanted was to crush and destroy. The potionmaster increased his pace as he neared his orgasm. With every movement he hit Harry's prostate what made the young man scream. As Snape climaxed he forced Harry's face to the desk so he couldn't see the his face. He felt Snape's cock soften within him while the man trying to calm his raging breath to its usual calm. Harry moaned desperately. He wanted to come to, to loose himself in his desire. He felt the other man's grip tighten around his balls squeezing them so much it hurt. “Come for me.” Snape said in a silky voice close to the boy's ear. The world exploded into stars. Never Harry had come this hard. Uncontrolled spasm were rolling through him causing him to scream. He could still feel Snape's cold hand caressing him, milking him until he begged his merciless professor fore more before he'd loose consciousness. “You really like it rough, do you?” Snape said dressing himself. Numbly Harry opened his eyes and tried to stand up what turned out quite difficult because his whole body was a wreck. Snape really was throughout. Shame welled up inside Harry causing him almost to vomit. What had he done? Shaking he tried to dress himself. He was already close the door as he heard the potionmaster's voice: “Where do you think you are going?” Harry winced. “Your lesson just began, so don't you dare running from me again.”  
Grudgingly,Harry seated himself at a nearby chair and watched Snape in a mixture of horror and interest. One never knew what happened inside the mans mind. Spoken man leaned at his desk and shot him a nearly amused sneer. “It appears the connection between the dark lord's mind and your own became much stronger. Whether he is, as yet, aware of this connection is for the moment unclear. Pray he remains ignorant!”  
“You mean if he knows about it then he will be able to read my mind?” Harry asked unimpressed. “Read it, control it, unhinge it. In the past it was often the dark lord's pleasure to invade the minds of his victims, creating visions designed to torture them into madness. Only after extracting the last exquisite ounce of agony, only when he had them literally begging for death he would finally … kill them.” Due to the shocked look on the brat's face Snape added savagely: “Used properly, the power of Occlumency will help shield you from access or influence. In these lessons I will attempt to penetrate your mind. You will attempt to resist. Prepare yourself! Legilimens!” Harry could only grab his wand before the hex hit him. Snape forced his way into Harry's mind far to easily. First the young man didn't even noticed him being observed. Memories passed his inner eye. One in particular seemed to caught Snape's attention: Harry in third year standing in front of a mirror somewhat horrified. Out of the mirror, Snape looked at the boy with a blessed smile. Neither of them moved until a rustling noise announced Lupin's entrance. The boy backed away from the mirror. Suddenly Snape felt like he was forced out of Harry's mind. Good, so the boy had some resistance at all. Back in his office Snape noticed the Harry watching him in outright fear. “That's private!” He said almost pleadingly.  “Not to me, Potter.” Harry forced himself to keep his calm. During his inner turmoil Snape had already risen his wand again. And once more Harry's vision became blurry. This time his professor kept on the surface, skimmed through various memories and thoughts. Harry sensed the intrusion but it took him ages to shut Snape out. He found himself on the floor, heavily breathing while Snape towered above him, a stern look on his elegant face. “I told you to empty yourself of emotion! Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves who cannot control their emotions who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked this easily – weak people in other words- they stand no chance against his powers! He will penetrate your mind with absurd ease, Potter!” Snape invaded Harry's mind once more. This time he took a closer look at the broadening images which passed his eyes. He stopped at one particularly interesting: Potter tied to the ceiling, completely naked. Well, that was charming. He himself stood in front of young man giving him one of his most menacing looks. Then he reached out to let his hand wander above the smooth skin. Soon Harry was at the verge of coming. Suddenly Snape sensed Harry's awareness about his presence as well as a weak attempt to push him out but this fantasy was far to precious to be wasted. The potionmaster forced the scene to replay. This time Potter emitted a needy whimper. How thrilling. Snape watched the scene again and again and every timethe brat seemed more aroused and needy. “Are you even trying?”  
“Yes, I am. I am sorry I cannot live up to your expectations.” Harry was breathing heavily a visible bulge in his trousers. “Oh, you are surpassing them through and through.” The potionmaster sneered causing Harry to blush. “What sick game are you playing?”  
“Occlumency, Potter, is the magical defense of the mind against external penetration. Also, an obscure branch of magic but a highly useful one.” Snape explained annoyed. “Why can't Dumbledore teach me?” Harry shot then. “Do you seriously want him to see those dark but fascinating fantasies of yours?” Harry turned his face away in shame. “You bastard, I will never let you take advantage of me again.” He spat while tears gathered in his eyes. “You came here out of your own free will.” Snape's voice was a low whisper. “What is the purpose of pretending to teach me if all you want is to hurt me even more?” Harry cried as something within him shattered. Snape fixed his eyes on Harry who was a trembling mess. The young man didn't even look at him as he got up and took his leave. This was to much, far to much for him to take. Suddenly he noticed Snape holding him back but he didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore. Snape reached out to pet the boy's unruly head causing him to flinch at the unexpected touch. “Harry.” Snape said in a low, almost pleading voice. “I am sorry.” He spoke almost inaudibly. The young man looked up to him through the blur of the tears in his eyes. “Just how, how are you able to tear me apart like this? I fucking need you.” Harry cried. His vast green eyes became even wider as Snape embraced him. “I love you.” The husky voice purred into his ear. Harry's heart to skip a beat.

Snape took harry to his bedroom bridal style where he put him to his bed and covered him with in a blanked. The boy was still terribly shaky. First lesson combined with emotional distress, he should have expected this. As extraordinary his love might be he was still human. Severus snuggled up next to Harry to hold him tight. No one of them moved until Harry whispered. “I love you.” His eyes gleamed brightly in the dark. “I love you.” Snape repeated. “How marvelous that sounds.” The voice brushed like silk over Harry who closed his eyes, feeling completely relaxed now. He must be dreaming. The cutting, nasty, intimidating Snape he knew would never say such things.

The next morning the young Gryffendor was woken by the lovely sound of that someone's velvet voice who had just put a tray with breakfast in front of him. “I am going to love Occlumency if I am getting breakfast every time now.” Harry mumbled sleepily. “Everything to raise a pupils efforts.” Snape sneered in his usual manner. “But it's more a proof of my sincerest apology.” Harry kissed Severus briefly. “You are becoming kind at your age.” He said cheekily. “No one ever calls me kind.” The potionmaster argued. After the breakfast Snape ordered Harry to dress himself quickly. “I am sorry but we have to resume our training as fast as possible. We have the whole day til the students arrive at the evening. ” The professor said to Harry as he entered the living room of his chambers. “I understand although I would love to play.” The boy sighed. “Yesterday's insight appeared very promising.” Snape replied but then shook his head quickly. “I am sorry I got carried away. Teaching Occlumency is a very intimate act because the teacher learns the students inner secrets. I should have respected that.” Snape locked his eyes with Harry's. “Today we will focus on legimency, the invasion of the mind. You see it's the vise versa to Occlumency. Therefore you will try to enter my mind.” At the troubled look the boy threw at him the professor added: “I will not hide anything from you. I can't guarantee you won't see anything unspeakable or cruel. My life isn't exactly a fairy tail.”

 


	48. Phoenix

It was a late Monday evening as Dumbledore and Snape almost simultaneously looked up. “The wards have been triggered.” The headmaster said. “He's coming.” Snape agreed. The surprised look of everyone assembled turned into horror. “What are we going to do?” Hermione asked the headmaster but Snape interfered: “We need to evacuate. Fighting is to much of a risk right now.”

“Severus is right.” The headmaster agreed. “Although we will send a team to gather and information and if necessary defend ourselves.” Everyone nodded in agreement. “Mr. Weasley, would you please firecall you parents? They shall gather the order at my office.” The headmaster pointed at the nearby camin. “Mrs. Granger, would you please wake up Professor McGonegal and explain everything to her. She will lead the evacuation. You may assist her as best as you can.” Hermione nodded and sped out of Dumbledore's office.

 

Not long and Dumbledore's office nearly busted with people. There were many members of the order but also their friends and family. Moreover many seventh years had expressed their will to fight. Finally Dumbledore got the word: “Good evening. You all know why we are here to day. I don't want to raise any hopes this battle will be our last but Hogwarts is been attacked and I thank you for your support.” The crowd made cheering noises. “Now we need to plan our strategy. Arthur and Percy, please go to the ministry and see if you can contact Minister Fudge. If necessary pull him here. We need assistance.” The read haired men nodded and disappeared through the floo seconds later. “Hagrid, Remus, Nymphadora, Sirius, Molly, Severus, Flitwick, Kingsley, Madeye and myself, we are going to the front rows in order to gather information. Most certainly we are going to be attacked. Prepare yourselves!” A mutter went through the crowd and Harry spotted Snape who grimly nodded at him. Harry closed his eyes. There wouldn't be a chance to say goodbye to his love. “Minerva you are in charge now. Expect our return any minute. If the reinforcement of the ministry arrives during my absence tell them not to move until I am back.” Dumbledore continured. “The seventh years and the remaining teachers as well Fred and George prepare the castle for any direct attack.” Dumbledore ordered. As everyone had set off. Dumbledore said to Harry: “I'd like you to stay with Minerva for the time being. I am sorry but this is the safest option for you.” Then he as well left his office.

This two hours were the longest Harry had ever experienced in his life. Faintly one could here battling noises from the forbidden forest and occasionally a bright hex lit up the sky. Harry had the feeling he might become crazy if he stayed any longer but he didn't dare to move under the watchful eyes of McGonegal.

Finally Dumbledore entered the office accompanied by and Percy who just said agitatedly: “The ministry hasn't done a thing yet and until there is proofed evidence.”

“That is even worse.” Dumbledore commented. “But I didn't expect any different from Fudge. Seems like we need to manage ourselves.” By and by many others of the defending party arrived at the office. The mood was tensed. “Why hasn't Snape returned yet?” Harry couldn't sustain any longer. Due to the surprised look of everyone he added quickly: “And Sirirus. They are both missing. “Sirius went to the ministry to support Arthur. He knows people at the auror compartment” Percy answered. “And Severus stayed to hold the protecting spells up a little longer.” Dumbledore explained. Suddenly an ice cold feeling claimed Harry's guts. But before he could react on it Mr. Weasley entered the office. “The aurors will be here any minute. Sirius will wait with them downstairs. As for Fudge he will be coming presumptuously.”

“Thank you, Arthur.” Dumbledore said. “We need to organize ourselves quickly. Apparently Voldemort has launched a direct attack on us. This is very unlikely and he wouldn't do so if he wasn't sure of winning.”

“Then what do we need to do?” McGonegal asked. “Fred and George, I'd like you to guide Harry to the room of requirements. There he will be safe. For the rest, everyone who can and wants to fight shall gather around the castle. Take caution, he brought the snakemen with him but they won't be such a danger anymore since we got an antidote.” Dumbledore smiled at Harry who looked longingly out of the window. A red light, like fireworks, sparked along the sky. “What was that?” Harry asked alarmed. With a strange kind of quiet Dumbledore announced: “The Hogwarts protecting wards are shattered. We need to hurry.” Quickly the remaining left the office. With Fred and George at his sides, Harry hurried down the corridors. He couldn't hide now. What if Severus was in danger? He debated if he should talk to the twins. Maybe they would let him go, after all they were good for breaking the rules but due to the determination showing in their faces Harry knew he got no chance.

Before they could reach the room of requirements they were suddenly surrounded by some seventh year Slytherins. Fred got hit by some hex and blooded through some terrible wound on his leg. After they had defied those traitors they managed to reach the room of requirements which was full with students. Madam Pomfrey was there, too. She treated Fred's injury and made such a fuss Harry could slip out off the room unseen. While he ran into the direction of the forbidden forest he wondered how he could find Severus now. He made a quick stop at his dorm to fetch his invisibility cloak and broom. As he was hidden under his cloak flying over the battlefield he finally got the idea. He landed at Hagrid's hut and muttered a few words in latin towards his ring. The plan was to revise the tracking charm which would hopefully lead him to Severus. It took him some minutes to get it right but then he somehow sensed where the man was.

The ring directed Harry towards the haunted hut, a place he hadn't been in age. The hut was deserted and demolished house near the whomping willow.

A hundred feet away, Harry landed silently in the high grass. He shrank his broom and pocketed it. So much he had learned from Hagrid. Then he crept near a dirty window of the haunted hut where muffled voices came come.

 

 

“Do you love Potter?” Harry heard the high thin voice of Voldemort. Hidden under his invisibility cloak Harry crept closer towards the haunted hut. “Always.” He heard Snape's faint reply and his heart fluttered in his chest. “Interesting. You shouldn't be capable to love but you do.” Voldemort cutting voice said. “And you should die back then but you still live.” Snape said indifferently. “You are a deadman as well, we have a lot in common, my knife.” Voldemort said. “We have perfectly nothing in common.” Snape argued. Harry hold his breath. He admired Snape for his courage. How did he do that? Slowly he moved closer. “My knife, my first experiment, you are about to be completed. You, the fallen one, are bestowed the honor to kill the boy who lived.” Voldemort laughed dryly. “But you wanted to kill him yourself all along.” Snape rasped. “People might think that but why would I? He is a mere schoolboy, not worthy of my attention. No, I have to attend greater. Tomorrow morning England will surrender for me. Meanwhile you will kill him my knife. You alone after I am done with you. Hilarious isn't it? You just managed to find what you desire most and now it is taken from you right away.” Voldemort cheered. “I will never do him any harm.” Snape managed. “And he never would harm you. You are such a perfect match.” Harry noticed Voldemort had switched into parseltongue. “My knife, all those years you didn't know your sole purpose.” Voldemort hissed. Suddenly Snape began moving, furiously trying to get away. “No.” He gasped. “To kill. I order you to kill Harry Potter the very second he sets one feet into this hut.” Voldemort continued. “Never.” Snape breathed. “You know you will as much as I do. I'll see you later my knife. You may bring me his heart. It is what you want most, is it?” Laughing Voldemort disapparated from the scene, leaving a confused Harry and a dying Severus behind. A few seconds Harry kept were he was. He felt like he was going to faint. What had just happened? He could hear Snape pacing the room like a wild animal. What should he do? Severus was badly wounded. He needed to help. But he hesitated. After a second thought he put aside his invisibility cloak. He would face Severus righteously. Just what did Voldemort do to his love? Prepared for the worst Harry entered the hut. In the gloomy light he could see Severus turn around with an animal like growl. “Potter. What are you doing here?” The man hissed. “I have come to rescue you.” Harry answered, drawing his wand. “Go away or I will kill you.” I can't help myself.” Within a second Snape was behind Harry and beat him so hard Harry fell hard to the ground. “Please.” Snape hissed which sounded more like a deadly threat. “I refuse. I will help you.” Harry shouted back. Snape took his arm and yanked him into a cupboard which stood near by. Harry cried out in pain. “Severus. Please you have to stop this.” Harry pleaded. With one other swift movement Snape was on top of Harry, pressing his hands into the boys shoulders it began bleeding. Harry winced. “Please, Severus.” He tried again. But he knew as he looked into the fathomless eyes of this creature that his love wasn't there anymore. “I am sorry.” Harry cried as he cast a silent stupify at Severus who let the wounded man crash into the other corner of the room. “You should save the world and not waste your time on me.” Harry arched closer. “But why should I save the world if there is nothing worth to live for but you.” Harry said. “Don't be stupid, Potter, and now go.” Snape hissed in pain turning his face away. “I won't go without you.” Harry screamed defiantly. “Don't die. I need you here with me.” Desperately he took the cold hands of his lover. Snape kicked Harry in the stomach which emptied his lungs. Harry stumbled backwards. “I am so sorry.” Harry cried as he cast a Petrificus totalus at Snape but it didn't work. The hex just bounced of. “You can't stop me with such little hexes.” Snape growled knocking Harry of his feat. Dammit, Harry's wand flew out of his hand and Snape caught it effortlessly. “You got no chance 'cause you are weak. I failed as your teacher. Leave now or I will kill you.” Snape hissed furiously. Harry blinked at him. “Then kill me. I am more than prepared to die.” One loud growl and Severus was on top of harry and he couldn't breath anymore because severus grabbed his throat. Desperately Harry tried to escape. He trashed around and screamed. But the lack of oxygen in his lungs made him faint. Harry had lost consciousness many times before there he knew this time was different. He wouldn't wake up ever again. “Always, Snape.” He uttered with dying breath as the roaring dark clouds claimed his mind.

* * *

 

Harry opened his eyes. Apparently he was still at the haunted hut. Not far, Severus sat, his view turned away from him. He looked as if he was crying but one never knew what this man was up to. Harry searched for his wand and couldn't find it within reach. Shit. At second thought. Doesn't matter. He could cast hexes without. Silently Harry stood up and walked towards Severus who turned his head around just this instant. A look of utter confusion passed his elegant features before he as well rose to his full height. Automatically Harry went into battling position but Severus hold his hands in defeat. “How is this possible? You were dead. You stopped breathing ten minutes ago. I killed you.” He shook his heads and Harry noticed he had, indeed, been crying. A warmth only loved ones ever feel gathered in Harry's chest. Within a second Snape caught him with strong arms. “Harry. I am so glad you are alive. Just how?” Severus framed the bruised face with his fingers. A small smile appeared on Harry's lips as he said triumphantly:. “That proofs you haven't read the whole ancient library yet, have you?” Snape who seemed a little confused shook his head. “Otherwise you'd probably now my true inheritance. I am the phoenix.” Harry explained. “What?” Severus uttered. “That means I can't die.” As his professor still didn't say anything Harry added: “I did a little research on my abilities, you know, the stranger ones. And it turned out I am immortal.” Severus still looked like he had seen a ghost. “This can't be. Immortality is impossible.”

“Unless you are born with it. And that's what I am, a born phoenix. My animagus indicates it …”

“… I knew it. Damn, all those incidents over the years. Why haven't I thought about it myself?” Snape cursed before he gave Harry a searing kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there.   
> So the story is nearing its end.   
> That my be unsatisfying for some of you but I haven't written the final battle with Voldemort yet. I don't know why. It just hasn't any appeal for me.   
> Nevertheless what is going to happen is that Snape and Harry defy Voldemort together by linking their dark patroni.   
> I don't know i wanted to do the typical doe and prongs things...  
> Well, didn't work out so far.   
> xoxo dreamingboy


	49. Showers

The first hours after the grand battle were silent ones. The injured got treated in the hospital wig, the more injured brought in St.Mungos, only the death remained in the great hall where they lay in long rows. With them was Madeye, Percy Weasley, Trelawnly. Harry didn't recognize the others as he stood silently next Hermione and Ron which had their fair share of bruises but seemed quite fine. Quietly and almost glad they got went to the headmaster's office which almost busted of people. A furious Kingsley and a wheezing fugde could be seens as well as Remus and Sirius idly together. At the end of the crowd stood Snape who looked at those two with a half sneer. Harry fought the urge to fly at the man straightaway.

Bit by bit the office emptied. Finally only the innerst members of the order stayed. A long time nobody said a word. But then a kind of rattled Dumbledore raised his voice. “How did you manage to link your patronus with Snape's?” Snape who hadn't moved from his place shook his head at Harry's questioning look. Another silence followed until Dumbledore spoke again in which houseelves offered beverage to the thristy crowd: Thank you everyone. I am honored I can call myself a friend of every single one of you. Without you we might not celebrate this victory. Cheers!” They drank one firewhisky and then most went home to their families because nobody felt like celebrating right now. In the huge crowd nobody noticed how Snape stormed out of the room closely followed by Harry who tried to look as apologetic as possible. Outside, Harry asked: “Where are we going?”

“Showers.” The dry reply came.

At the showers Snape disrobed revealing various cutting marks and his black mark. “Why did you never tell its color changed?” Harry asked him shyly while he abandoned his torn shirt. “I didn't want to worry you.” The sour reply silenced Harry till they stood quietly next to each other in the showers. “Shall I massage you? You still seem tensed.” Harry offered. “Is that what you do with the quidditch boys?” Snape sneered. Harry blushed. “No, I just wanted to be nice.”  
“Maybe telling me what the quidditch boys actually do would lift my mood.” Snape sneered causing Harry to become even more red. “Tell me, Potter.” Snape let his cool fingers ran down Harry's body who shivered under the much wanted touch.

….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this chapter defenitly needs an update. Don't you think?  
> xoxo


	50. Life

The next morning Snape told the headmaster he would visit his childhood house and he would take Harry with him. Too Snape's grudge Dumbledore didn't seem as surprised as he should. Probably the linked patroni had revealed more than he could ever have explained. Fortunately, Dumbledore choose wisely not to brag about Hogwart's new it pair.

Early midday Snape and Harry arrived at Snape's manour a huge land house near the sea. The boy was totally amazed. “This is your house? Really? You tell me we visit some rooms of you and that is what you mean?” Snape did his best to hide his smile. “Yes, this is Snape manour. I hope you don't mind its state nobody has been here fore a while.” He opened the door. Inside they were greeted by a staff of houseelves. “Master Snape.” They cheered and bowed down deeply. Harry shot Snape an amused look who looked kind of embarrassed. Then the largest spoke in a deep voice. “Welcome back, Master. We expected your return. I hope everything meets your approval.”

“Of course, everything will be fine when you are in charge, Lines.” He barked. A approving smile appeared on the elves lips. “By the way, this is Harry Potter. He will reside here with me for a while now.” Then Snape took Harry who looked more than a little flabbergasted by his hand and let him away from the odd welcome committee. “You will let me live here?” He asked. Snape nodded stiffly. “With you?” Harry asked with a bright smile. “Of course, what else purpose could there be?” The professor snapped. “Oh, I can see many.” Harry kissed Snape briefly on the lips enjoying he needed to be on his tiptoes to do so.

* * *

Life in Snape's manour was just wonderful. The sea wasn't far away, the food was delicious and the house was gorgeous with many different room so Harry never got bored just to wonder around and look.

As Harry woke up one night he noticed Snape wasn't in bed with him. On tiptoes he went to look for the man when he suddenly heard the lovely melody of a piano. Curiously he followed all the way down to the parlor. Indeed, Severus was furiously playing the piano. The whole scene was captivating. Harry leaned himself at the doorframe, listened and watched the long and slender fingers play. “Stop staring at me.”Snape ordered without diverting his attention. “I feared so. You are quite a harsh man.” Harry's voice became soft. “And you love me for it.” Snape stopped abruptly and turned around. The obsidian eyes met the dreamy green ones. “I take it you assult me like this every lesson?” The man snapped. “No, I wouldn't do that.” Harry blushed. “I just like your hands.” He swiftly looked away. Suddenly one of those cold, slim hands began caressing his jawline. A little moan escaped Harry. “What do you imagine?” Snape said in a silky voice. “I wish we-” Harry mumbled shyly -”could stay like this forever.” The way Snape looked at Harry that moment could be easily mistaken for a murderous glance but Harry knew the man was just progressing his words. Then suddenly Severus got to his knees and grabbed Harry's hands whose heart missed a beat. “Harry, love, will you marry me? Severus looked more than dashing kneeling in front of him, his black hair framing his keen, intelligent face. Harry nearly forgot to breath. Certainly, he must have looked like an utter fool as he screamed “yes” like a hysterical woman.  
Hence Harry already possessed a ring from Severus and didn't want another the older man demanded to have his name carved in it visibly. “People need to know you are off the market. Now that the war is over they will chase you to no end.” Sighing Harry declared he wouldn't mind that. They should have made their liaison official ages ago.

* * *

 

Nevertheless he was more than nervous when the day of honor came. Every war hero was invited and Harry and Severus couldn't miss it due to obvious reasons. Although no one of them wanted to go Harry told himself it was best. He had hid too many things from his friends already. He didn't want his marriage to be one of those.  
Therefore he went to them straight after the festivities. Harry spotted Ron and Hermione sitting at a table near the bar. They were obviously arguing about something. Shyly Harry stepped towards them. “Hi, guys. Long time no see.” He tried to sound particularly cheerful as he sat himself at the chair opposite from them. “Where have you been?” Hermione asked instantly. Harry cursed inwardly but tried to maintain his good mood. “I was at Snape's manour.” He answered. “And what would you possibly want there?” Ron queried disbelievingly. “I took some days off and-”  
“-Where was Snape?” Ron sounded alarmed. “That is what I kind of wanted to tell you. Snape and I are engaged.” Harry said quickly and ducked his head in expectation of the thunder. But nothing of the sort happened. While Ron looked ash white like he had seen a ghost Hermione shouted triumphant: “I knew it. I damn well knew it, Harry.” He gave hear a curious look. “How?” He asked weakly. “You spent so much time with him lately and his your odd behavior in class. And then the one day when he made you attend his lessons …”  
“What's with that day?” Harry asked alarmed. “Well you looked thoroughly fucked.” Harry shook his head vehemently. “Did anybody else see that?” He asked desperately. “No, I don't think so.” Hermione giggled. “But Harry that is unbelievable. You and him? Just how?”  
“Yeah, unbelievable it is. Are you sure he didn't put you under some kind of spell, Harry?” Ron had finally recovered from the shock.

* * *

 

Looking back, everything seemed so clear to Harry. He needed Snape _l_ _ike a star needs the dark to shine._ Their life together was good. Truthfully, Snape still was a git sometimes who deeply enjoyed humiliating Harry but most of the time he was kind.

Years later as Dumbledore called Harry and Snape into his office nothing had changed that. Snape was leading the most famous laboratory for potions and spells in the country by then. Harry had made his career as world famous seeker and explorer.  
One morning they both went to visit the headmaster in his office.  
“Why have you called?” Severus asked immediately. “Straight to the point then.” The headmaster smiled. “I have an announcement to make.” He said importantly. “I have decided to retire from my position as headmaster and I would like you, Severus, to accept the duty as my descendant.” Snape bowed his head deeply. “Thank you, Albus. This means a lot to me but unfortunately I have to retire.  
“What?”  
“I name Harry as my descendant.”  
“I had a fair feeling you would do that.” Dumbledore laughed.  
“Why not? He may be too young to be considered by you but he loves this school more than anybody else. I am sure he'll do great.”  
“I am sure he will.” Albus agreed. Then both men turned their heads to Harry who hadn't said a thing yet. Harry just hugged him. _“Always, Snape.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end. The end of a long journey which has brought me one step closer to writing. This was my first book, a fanfiction though but I am nonetheless proud. Today I set the deadline and everything I got went online. I don't regret I haven't finished the story entirely because it leaves me the space to return.  
> As you may have noticed after the third sentence of mine I am neither a native speaker nor good in English. My skills gradually improved along the journey (as well as my grades). So if there's anyone out there who wants to be my beta so that my mistakes get corrected please contact me. I'm looking forward to work with you.  
> Contact me: xoxodreamingboy@gmail.com  
> Xoxo dreamingboy


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